Your Own Personal Hell
by Chibi Zia
Summary: Mock high school AU. Takao met Kai during summer school, but little did he know the troubles that would follow him because of it in freshmen year. Kai's not your typical rebel; luckily Takao's not your typical idiot. He'll figure Kai out sooner or later.
1. My First Day

_My first day of high school_, Takao thinks, battling an incontrollable urge to get a pair of scissors, _and I still have no idea how to tie a tie without strangling myself_.

Takao Kinomiya, fifteen year old freshman at BBA High and possibly worst student ever, is currently running late. Now, this is not new -- Takao has, in fact, never been on time for anything as far as he can remember. Takao believes that, if he were to die and his life would flash before his eyes, what he would see would probably be a montage of Takao running at different ages, screaming "I'm _late_" to whoever is willing to hear. Maybe with the occasional eating moment. Takao doesn't exactly lead the most exciting life ever.

Boring life or not, it doesn't change the fact that he's currently late, and if school uniforms came with clip-on ties like in middle school, this would _so_ not be the case. High school, Takao decides after he throws the tie out the window, completely blows. What was wrong with clip-on ties?

"Clip-on ties are _awesome_," Takao yells out the window, gesturing wildly at his concerned neighbour, "because none of them have ever caused me to _choke and die_!"

The concerned neighbour, a nice old lady that used to teach geography in middle school but retired last year, decides that giving him back his tie might not actually be that good an idea.

"Oi! T-man! Cut the dramatics and get goin', yo, you're going to be late for your first day of high school!" Takao's grandfather yells out, throwing a clip-on tie at him as he passes by Takao's room. "And use this one for today!"

Takao is torn between yelling at his grandfather for his complete lack of privacy -- like, what if he had been _naked_ or something? -- and grovelling in gratitude at the magnificence of a clip-on tie that actually _matches_ his new school uniform. He settles for a kind of middle ground; yelling out a quick "thanks!" at his grandfather before running out the door, throwing his schoolbag on his shoulder.

That is how Takao's first year in high school begins. At that exact moment, he has no idea what is in store for him in the following three years. And if he had known, well... let's just say clip-on ties would have been the least of his worries.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"Safe!!" Takao cries out as he slides into the classroom a grand _three_ minutes before the late bell. His cry is met with shocked and bewildered looks from the kids who have never been to grade school or middle school with him. Those who did simply roll their eyes or laugh.

Max Mizuhara is one of those who laugh, before throwing his arm up in the air and waving Takao over. "Hey! Taka! C'mon, we saved you a spot!"

"Maxie!" Takao yells back, almost tackling the other boy with the speed he runs towards him. "You're back from America!"

"Well, duh," Max responds, "I told you it was only for the summer. What's more surprising is that _you_, mister, made it aaaall the way to high school. I guess that means you actually passed summer school!"

Takao had met Max in his last year of middle school, when the blond transferred all the way from New York, America to little Bey City, Japan. Max had gone back to New York for the summer, however, visiting his mother at her request. In fact, Takao himself had been invited to go with him, but he'd had to decline, for obvious reasons. Takao grins at Max and sits down with a shrug, leaning back on his chair casually.

"Yeah, it actually wasn't that bad. I mean, it was still a drag going there for most of the summer, but it could've been _tons_ worst."

"I'm surprised you think that way," a voice pipes out from behind them, and Takao swivels around to stare at a mass of brown hair and huge glasses. "I thought for sure you'd spend most of the _year_ whining about how much of a drag it was."

"Aw, Chief, give the poor guy a break," Max says with a laugh, "He passed, didn't he?"

Takao nods enthusiastically, a wide grin on his face as he teases the other boy. "Yeah, and completely without your help, 'cause _someone_ went off to computer camp..."

"Aaah, I'm sorry about that, Takao," the Chief apologizes, shaking his head slightly. "But my parents had already registered me and I couldn't back out at the last minute!"

"Naah, it's alright," Takao waves him off, "I managed, didn't I?"

"Aaah, I'm really glad you did, Takao. It wouldn't have been the same with just Max and me in high school!"

Takao grins cheekily as Max nods his assent. The Chief, alternatively called "the Professor", is the smartest guy he knows. They've known each other since grade school, which is why Takao can say it has been _years_ since he's called the boy by his real name. The nickname "Chief" had somehow just stuck to the other boy when Takao had used it years ago, when they had first been partnered up for a project. That project had been the start of their now long-lasting friendship.

The bell finally rings, and Max rushes out: "I have someone I want you guys to meet during lunch, and the Chief said he wanted to give us a briefing, so don't plan anything for lunch break, alright?"

Takao gives him a thumbs up. "Awright! This is gonna be _sweet_."

Takao doesn't ask who plans anything during _lunch break_, and simply puts it to Max being half-American. Americans are weird.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Lunch break finds Takao being completely overwhelmed by the sheer number of _people_ at the cafeteria. He'd known high school was bigger than middle school, of course, but _this_ is ridiculous. He's suddenly glad he bought his own _bento_ box. How is he supposed to find his friends in this crowd? More importantly, how is he supposed to find --

"Oi! Taka! Over here!" Max shouts, practically standing on the bench of the table at the far, _far_ left corner of the cafeteria, waving both his arms around. Well, that's one way to grab his attention.

Takao dodges a few people on his way to the far, far left corner of the cafeteria (seriously, could they _be_ any further away from the doors?) and flops down next to the Chief with a sigh, wiping his forehead dramatically. The other boy doesn't even bother looking up from his laptop. Are those even allowed?

"Whew, I'm _beat_. It's like _war_ out there!" Takao exclaims, and finally notices the boy sitting next to Max, snickering at him. "Uh, who's he?"

"Oh, that's Rei!" Max answers brightly, clapping the other boy on the back. "He's the guy I wanted you to meet. I met him during the summer! We were both in New York at the same time, and we were both looking for a hotdog stand-- looong story -- and, anyway, basically I found out he went to a middle school in Bey City, and he was going to this high school just like us! Weird coincidence, huh?"

"Of course you forget to mention that you practically drowned my hotdog in mayonnaise, huh Max?" Rei comments cheekily, a lazy cat-like smirk on his face.

Everything about Rei yells _kitty_ to Takao, actually. Must be the gold eyes and sharp fangs protruding from his mouth. The other boy wears his uniform perfectly -- buttoned up all the way and everything, unlike Takao and Max who just leave their jacket open. The bandanna on his forehead is the only thing that differentiates him from all the other student drones. Well, that, and the _insanely_ long plaited hair. It kind of looks like a tail.

Takao is going to make _so many cat jokes_, it is not funny.

"That's Maxie for you alright," Takao tells Rei with a grin. "If it doesn't have mayo on it, he's not eating it!"

"And it has to be _Japanese_ mayo," Rei continues, smiling lazily. "Otherwise, no _way_ is that touching his plate."

"I'll slather you guys up with mayo, you just wait," Max threatens them jokingly, pointing his chopsticks at Takao's face. "I will make a meal out of you."

The three boys crack up laughing. When they're done Takao smiles at Rei. "Well, it's nice to meetcha, Rei. I'm Takao."

"Oh, so _you're_ the one who was in summer school?"

Takao turns to Max with a betrayed look on his face. "Maxiiiiie! You _told_ him that? You traitor!"

Max raises his hand up in defence, trying -- and failing -- to look innocent. "Hey, hey, all I said was that a friend of mine was supposed to come but couldn't because of summer school! It's not my fault he guessed which one it was between you and the Chief!"

"The nickname 'Chief' helped a bit, I gotta admit," Rei informs them, smugly, and Takao simply grumbles and starts to attack his rice balls with a viciousness that would've made them screams had they not been, well, _rice balls_.

They eat in silence for a while until their youngest (and smartest) counterpart decides to make his presence known.

"Aaaaah, there, I'm done!" Chief announces, _finally_ looking up from his laptop. Max, Takao and Rei look up from their foods and at him, curious.

"Done with what?"

"I was making a map of the cafeteria sitting protocol, and all the different cliques in school," he explains. "A kind of guide of how-to for high school, I suppose."

Takao and Max share a dubious look, but Rei looks intrigued. "Do you seriously think we need a _guide_, Chief? It's just high school." Max points out, which gives him what _might _be an incredulous stare from the Chief. Not that they can really tell, what with the hair and glasses.

"Aaaaaah!! What are you _talking_ about!? Of course we do! High school is the most important part of a student's life!! It can be a complete and utter nightmare if you're not properly prepared for what it might throw at you!!! Just think, one wrong move and your reputation is _over_ for the remainder of your time here, maybe the rest of your life!! This is _serious_, guys!"

By the end of the Chief's little speech, he looks ready to rip out his own hair and Max makes soothing motions. "Take it easy, I didn't mean to say it wasn't serious, Chief..."

"Personally, I think you watch too many teen movies," Takao says with a shrug. "But, go on. Explain it to us."

The Chief clears his throat, seeming to calm himself down and turns the laptop towards them. The three other boys lean in, trying to get a good look at the screen.

"Alright. You all know there are three years in high school. There's freshmen year, junior year and senior year. All the years are separated into cliques. Generally, in this school, cliques mix and match the years. The leaders of the cliques, however, are _always_ seniors. They boss around the freshmen and the juniors in their cliques, and the juniors _also_ boss around the freshmen. Freshmen are already at the bottom of the ladder, which means we're already in a pretty bad position to begin with!!"

"But our position will get better with the years," Rei points out casually. "Right?"

"Well, yes," the Chief admits. "Anyway, let's ignore the "freshmeat" thing for now. That's how they call freshmen. _Freshmeat_."

"He's lost it," Takao whispers to Max, who simply nods with a terrified look on his face.

"The different cliques, now. You have, first of all, the jocks-- they all excel at some sort of sport. Their tables are second to the right, next to the windows. The nickname for the jocks in this school is "All Starz", actually."

Max turns around on his seat, as if trying to see them. "We can't see any table from here, so how are we supposed to identify them?"

"Oh, you'll know them when you meet them," the Chief says, waving him off. "Next, over here would be the Goths... Or, uh, monster things. _Don't_ approach them. Any of you. They're terrifying people who like to think they're zombies or vampires or mummies or even werewolves. I heard a rumour that they've been in this school for _centuries_, only under different _names_."

"This school hasn't been around for centuries," Rei points out, but the Chief shushes him as Takao tries to hide his laughter.

Vampires! What _next_?

"Then there's the ... well, preps is the best word I can come up with. They're all rich, they're all snobby, and they probably own half the planet. Takao, try not to get sued by them-- you've met Ralf before, after all." Takao sputters, shouting out a "hey" of objection that is completely ignored. "They sit at the best table, of course. You'll know which one I'm talking about when you see it."

"What, is it gold plated or something?" Takao scoffs.

"It might as well be. Next, on the _other_ far corner of the cafeteria, directly opposed from us would be the bad boys. The rebels, the attitude problems, basically everyone we want to _not_ meet in a dark alley, or even just the hallway. They're even more terrifying than the monster wannabes! From our year, though, there's only four or five, and I heard they're all Russians. So just _stay away_ from the Russians if you value your life."

"Has anyone else noticed that there are a lot of foreigners in this Japanese school?" Max points out casually, but is completely ignored.

"Finally, there's... well, the nickname they have is Bai Hu Zu," the Chief starts, but Rei interrupts him with a grin.

"Ah, yeah, they were my friends in middle school. Let me guess -- 'Traditionally Chinese clique'?"

"... Well, uhm," the Chief says, flustered, "... Yes, pretty much."

"Is that really all the cliques there are?" Takao questions, looking around. "There are a lot more tables than that."

"Well, there are more, of course -- the geeks, the skaters, the punks, the class clowns -- but none of them are as important as the ones I mentioned. Those are the biggest ones, and the ones with the most power. Do _not_ cross them, guys. I'm serious! It's dangerous, and one wrong move in front of these cliques will ruin your high school life _forever_!"

The Chief, Takao decides, has received one too many swirly when he was still in grade school.

"Soo, where would we fit in? In theory." Max asks him, poking at his now-cold noodles with a saddened face.

"Well... Rei is obviously Bai Hu Zu material, you're good at soccer, Max, so you could probably be a jock, Takao would go in with the class clowns, and I ... well, I'd be with the nerds, I guess." The Chief says all this dejectedly, as if someone spat in his lunch. Again.

"Well, it's not like we're going to go join any cliques," Takao waves him off. "Anyway, speaking of where certain people would fit... Do you know Kai Hiwatari? Which clique would he be in?"

Max, who had taken a daring step and tried some of his cold, soggy noodles, chokes on them suddenly. Rei looks at Takao with wide eyes and the Chief has frozen in his spot, gawking at him in terror.

"... What, do I have something in my teeth?"

The Chief clutches his laptop to his chest and swallows loudly. "How... how do you know Kai Hiwatari?"

Takao blinks. The better question is how they know Kai, really, considering the faces they're all making. "We met during summer school. Anyway, he told me he was going to attend this school too. I was surprised we'd never met before, actually! He's kind of a hard guy to miss. Did you know he was in our middle school, Chief?"

"_Summer school_?" Max asks, incredulous. "What did they do to get him there, _tie him up_?!"

"Uhh," Takao responds intelligently, cut off by the Chief's incredibly high-pitched rant.

"Did I know Kai Hiwatari was in our middle school? What kind of question is _that_?! Do you even know who we're talking about?!"

Takao, who is starting to feel _extremely_ annoyed by all this, grinds out: "Yes. I do. _Kai_. What did he do, kill your puppy?"

The Chief whimpers, borrowing his head in his hands, shaking it from side to side with a mantra of "not good, not good, _so_ not good". Takao turns to Max and Rei, letting out a breath.

"Alright, will someone tell me what's so bad about Kai? I mean, he's got an attitude problem the size of a small planet, but he's not _that_ bad, sheesh."

"Taka... I have no idea how you'd never heard of Kai before meeting him this summer, but _everyone_ knows about him. He's like, the middle school legend of _pure terror_."

Takao opens his mouth to tell him how _completely retarded_ that sounds when Rei interrupts him, putting his elbows on the table casually. "Well, even if I think they're both exaggerating, it's true. Kai's got something of a reputation preceding him. Once the Chief has stopped praying for your soul, maybe he can explain it."

As if on cue, the Chief looks up. "Takao, Kai is _the_ bad boy of all bad boys. I told you to stay away from the Russians, right? But those guys have got _nothing_ on Kai. He's the leader of a gang of punks who all dropped out of high school, even if he's much younger than them. He has a criminal record probably twenty pages long, he skips approximately ninety-nine percent of his classes, and he's fought two guys both armed and _won_ with hardly a single scratch! Once, a kid bumped into him by accident and he threw him off the roof of an elementary school!"

"Actually, he hung him up the flagpole," Rei mentions, casually. "It was a friend of mine. Kiki was never the same after that..."

"I heard he visited the school psychiatrist and made _her _go insane," Max adds, stealing a carrot from Rei's lunch.

"Okay, _those_ are pretty much all rumours. ... Except the skipping classes thing. And he stopped trying to kill people when they bump into him when I mentioned one of his glares would make most of them cry. And maybe the gang thing is real. . . . Okay, so the guy isn't a model citizen, big deal," Takao huffs, crossing his arms.

"_Big deal_?! Aaaah! Takao, you don't know what you've gotten yourself into! Kai Hiwatari _does not_ have friends! He's going to take out your intestines and dangle you with them!!"

"Like a yo-yo," Max tells him with a grin.

"It's not funny, Max! This is serious!! Takao is probably in grave danger! Knowing him, he missed all the times Kai tried to break his neck with a _desk_ or something..."

"Look, relax, Chief. If Taka hasn't died yet and he's spent the entire summer with him, maybe the guy isn't as bad as the rumours make him out to be. He's skipped class so often it's not like we've ever seen him in middle school anyway."

"I'm just surprised he told you he was coming to this school," Rei says, looking at Takao with a frown. "I heard he was planning on dropping out before high school. Hell, he wasn't even planning on finishing middle school, from what everyone knew."

"That'd be a stupid idea," Takao snorts. "C'mon, who doesn't finish _middle_ _school_? It's probably another stupid rumour."

"But what about dropping out before high school? Was that a stupid rumour?"

". . . I don't know," Takao answers with a shrug. "But Kai told me he'd be coming to this school this year, and he's not the kind of guy to lie about stuff like that. So I told him to meet me at lunch on the first day!"

"_You told him to meet you at lunch_?!" The Chief screeches, and Takao wishes he'd have sat on _the other side_, with Max and Rei. Far away from the screeching. Ugh, his poor ears.

"I just said that," he mumbles out, rubbing his poor, abused ears.

"Don't worry, Chief," Max says, patting him on the arm, which is the only part of the Chief he can reach from where he is sitting. "Kai never comes to school on the first day. ... Or the second day or-- well, maybe he does on the tenth day, but not the first or second day."

"You might be wrong about that," Rei tells them, turned towards the door. The cafeteria, they notice, is basked in silence for some reason.

Max turns to look at the door too, almost standing up to see properly. "Oh my God," Max exclaims with a thick American accent before reverting to Japanese, "Kai just walked in the cafeteria!"

The Chief makes a keening noise at the back of his throat, looking ready to faint and trying to hide under the table unsuccessfully. Takao, in contrast, shoots up in his seat, waving wildly.

"Oi, Kai! You grouch! Took you long enough!"

There is no noise or movement as Kai Hiwatari makes his way to the far, far left corner of the cafeteria. The freshmen and juniors, who have heard of Kai by reputation, stay silent out of fear, whereas the senior seem more intrigued than anything. Kai walks casually, head held high as he scans the crowd for Takao. Takao laughs a little at Kai's appearance. He looks like more of a rebel than he did even this summer. Kai's tie is completely untied, hanging uselessly around his shoulders. His blazer seems to have disappeared somehow, leaving him in only the undershirt, though he's kept it completely buttoned up. His pants seem baggier than the standard uniform would permit it, which makes Takao think he asked for a size or two bigger than he was, considering he has to wear a _belt_ to hold them up. He's somehow kept the war paint he had on during the summer, though he's lost the scarf (which, Takao maintains, should have been _impossible_ to wear during summer) in favour of a dark choker.

Kai stops next to their table, looking at Takao with an emotionless face as the boy grins at him.

"Way to look like a total rebellious slob, Kai," Takao teases him. Max is trying extremely hard not to laugh and Rei looks at the conversation in polite interest, whereas the Chief...

Has yet to pass out, which is impressive. Takao has never known anyone to be _that_ shade of white and not pass out.

Kai shrugs off the comment about his general appearance. He spares a glance at the three seated boys for half a second before looking back at Takao.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," he drawls, and manages to sound _not_ sorry at all, which has _got _to be a talent of his. "Kinomiya."

One day, Takao thinks, one day he will call me by my first name, and when that day comes I am going to _tackle him to the floor_.

What he will do once that was accomplished is still iffy (either hug him out of joy or punch him for having taken _so very long_ to call him by his first name, possibly both), but he would tackle him. And sit on him so Kai could not kill him with his bare hands. Takao may say those accusations were all rumours, but Kai can still be pretty scary. And probably could kick two guys ass bare-handed. He's kind of cool like that. Socially retarded, but cool.

"Whatever, the important thing is you came, right?! So come on, sit down and have lunch with us!"

The entire cafeteria has their eyes riveted to this conversation, which is probably why Kai shakes his head no. Probably.

"No thanks," Kai tells him, "I'd rather not have to watch you eat enough to feed a third world country again."

Or there is that excuse.

"Uh -- but, aw, c'mon, you said --" Takao tries, pitifully, stumbling over his words. Kai has already turned around and started walking away, which so does not look as cool when he doesn't have the swishy scarf.

God, Takao loves that swishy scarf. Swiiiish. Kai stops a few feet away, as if debating with himself over this.

"Kinomiya," Kai calls, over his shoulder. "Meet me after school?"

Takao is probably the only one who catches the inflection at the end that marks it as a question -- Kai's soft, commanding voice tends to have only two tones: emotionless and angry. Sometimes a third is added; angrier. Still, Takao beams at Kai's back.

"Okay, fine, I get it; you can't spend half a day in school without needing to skip. Sure, I'll see you at the usual place, buddy!"

Kai flicks him off over his shoulder as he walks out, the word 'buddy' probably offending his sensibilities or something. When Kai has finally left the cafeteria, it's like the world has come back around Takao and he finally notices the stares and whispers of the entire school. Plus the fact that the Chief _has_ fainted.

Oops.

"Takao," Max says, sounding slightly awed, "You have _got_ to tell us about summer school."

"... Before or after we get the Chief to the nurse?" Takao replies, trying extremely hard not to laugh.

"We've got some time left," Rei points to the clock. "So maybe we can do both."

... And how is it that only _half_ of lunch break has gone by?!

"Yeah, but, seriously... tell us about summer school, man."

Takao has the feeling high school is going to be slightly more awkward than middle school.

Slightly.

* * *

Ooooh boy.

Ladies and gentlemen, but most likely ladies, welcome to the first chapter of this high school AU fic, which is actually going to pretty much completely ignore the high school part of it. THAT'S RIGHT. I AM THAT KIND OF PERSON!

Alright, first off, I know more about the Japanese schooling system than this leads on; this is because this fic is first and foremost a parody of all those other high school fics. That's right. I'm in your base, making fun of you. Having the entire cast in the same high school is part of the parody. In fact the entire clique thing is part of the parody! YAY! In fact, this fic is parodying lots of things in subtle ways; nevertheless it is still a Srs Bizness fic, in which Srs Things will happen, most of them relating to Kai because he is a very Srs Character.

This is chapter one of year one; there will in fact be three, count 'em, three, years shown in this fic. Each year loosely corresponds to a season, and so if a character was introduced in season 2 or 3 you will not see them this year. I'm sad too. ):

This fic will be TyKa! Eventually! ... Near the end of the third year! Yeah. Sooo not happening much.

I currently have no idea if each year will be a different fic or not; it depends on how long each year is, I guess. I hate fics with seventy gajillion chapters. They make my skin itch. Granted I have no idea where I am going with this except bits of each year are already planned, but. We'll see. SUMMER SCHOOL is not going to be a prequel; you lucky bastards get it in this fic. That's right! One or two chapters will be the normal school year, and then one chapter will be summer school. Aren't you happy? (It will make for great cliffhangers, let me tell you.) Next chapter is, in fact, summer school, or how Kai and Takao met. Also, while Kai looks cool and collected so far, it is a lie. A terrible, terrible lie.

I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH EXPLANATION FOR THIS FIC? Uh. Leave a review or...don't, but if you have a question I will make sure to answer it. Oh and a list of clichés I will not be doing include:

Rape  
Physical Abuse By A Parent  
Anyone Getting Bullied  
Cutting  
The Girls Being Bitches  
Dramatic Love Declarations  
Everyone Being Paired Off  
Keeping The Same Boyfriend For All Of High School  
etc, etc, if you can think of a cliché it is in this list, ladies and gentlemen.

THAT IS ALL, see you next chapter. :)

- Zia


	2. Did That Really Just Happen?

Unlike everything else in Takao's life, summer school does not start with him being late.

To be fair, the only reason Takao is _not_ late for summer school is that his grandfather decided that, to make up for the kendo practice his grandson would miss, he would make Takao wake up at _four in the morning_, a completely inhuman time that should not _exist_, in order to train him the normal three hours a day he normally would. Needless to say Takao has spent the majority of his morning accusing his grandfather of child abuse, which only earned him a _particularly _hard hit on the head with the shinai. The fact that this was completely proving his point that kendo training at four in the morning equalled a terrible, terrible form of child abuse was ignored by his grandfather, even though Takao took pains in pointing it out approximately every five minutes or so.

Because of this, Takao is very much _not_ late for summer school. In fact, he is early. ...In fact, he is the only one sitting in class currently, though he doesn't know whether this is because he's the only one who failed the last year of middle school or if he is just that early.

He really, _really_ hopes it's the latter. The former is just too depressing and pathetic. Especially if even the _teacher_ doesn't bother showing up.

"Oooh," a voice sounds out from _right behind Takao_, which would be impossible because he is seating at the _back_ of the class and would have heard anyone come in unless there's a secret back door or the classroom is haunted. "The wild grasshopper that rises early catches the morning bird with its claws _indeed_!"

Oh, crap. The classroom is haunted by the ghost of _metaphors that make no sense_.

"W-what?" Takao exclaims, shooting up so fast the chair clatters behind him, turning around to face ... thin air.

_I am going to die_, Takao thinks, eyes wide and heart hammering in his chest, _I am going to die killed by the ghost of the middle schooler with the voice of an old man who couldn't remember common sayings_.

The thought is incredibly depressing.

"The giraffe that only looks at the leaf far up the tree misses the juicy berries of wisdom dangling below his neck," the voice tells him mysteriously.

Takao refuses to tell the voice that 'juicy berries of wisdom dangling' sounds incredibly, _incredibly_ wrong. One rule Takao has learned from slightly camp horror movies: you don't offend the disembodied voice of a ghost, no matter how ridiculous it sounds. No matter how confident you are that ghosts do not haunt middle schools in at eight thirty in the morning _in the summer_, because maybe this is the vengeful spirit of People Who Get Up Ridiculously Early In the Summer. So instead of mentioning how wrong 'juicy berries of dangling wisdom' or whatever it was sounds, Takao asks:

"What does that _mean_?" In a completely awed voice, as if he cares for any other reason than _not_ offending the voice and so not dying by cause of the lamest ghost he has heard of since Candlej-- Oh, right, can't say his name.

"Hmmmm... Not the brightest bulb in the crayon box, this one. It means look down, boy," the voice says in deadpan yet amused tone, and so Takao does, expecting to see a message of nutsy wisdom written in blood on the floor (something like '_seven days ... seven lottery numbers... and I'm not tellin' unless you give me a virgin sacrifice_', maybe, and Takao realizes then that the horror movies he watches are _really bad_, even for camp movies). Instead, he sees a small, practically _midget_ old man wearing weird brown and orange clothing. The old man has a flush on his face that makes Takao wonder if it's possible to get drunk before nine am, and how much of an alcoholic you have to be to be so drunk at _nine the morning_ that you wind up at the local middle school. Which is currently empty save for Takao and what used to be the fiercest-- and only-- ghost Takao had ever seen.

As always, Takao's life is just never that interesting. Damn.

"... Uh. Hello?" Takao says, uncertainly, because what _do_ you say to tiny old alcoholic men infiltrating your local middle school (in the summer!) and try to impart you with words of wisdom that make absolutely no sense at all?

Well, apparently, Takao believes you say hello, though the general consensus is that you do not talk to strangers, especially not _drunk and crazy_ strangers.

"Hello!" The strangers repeats, a wide grin on his face. "It is nice to see the youthful face of happy students so early in the morning! Though you might have forgotten, but it is summer. Shoo, shoo, fly like the spider hanging from its web of freedom into the mouth of the awaiting tiger!"

Takao, who thinks he looks particularly _miserable_, not happy, takes offence to... whatever it is the old man said that might have made sense had Takao also been drunk and senile. Unfortunately Takao is young and sober, and so he has no idea what the man said except it might be something like "it's summer, go back home and leave the school world alone for the next two months".

There is nothing Takao wants more than to do just _that_, but the fact is that he _can't_. Freedom being dangled in front of his face does not make it any better. Takao scowls and crosses his arms against his chest, puffing out his cheeks, irritated.

"I _know_ it's summer," he snaps, hitting the floor with his feet like a three year old having a temper tantrum. "I'm here for _summer_ school!"

It doesn't have the effect of shutting the old man up Takao had hoped, possibly because there is nothing impressive about a freshly-fifteen year old who failed ninth grade. The old man instead looks _interested_ now, and Takao strongly regrets not having brought pepper stray to school. Or a bat with nails, which would be manlier. Manliness is always important when fending off attackers.

"Oho~," the old man says with a chuckle that sounds mightily _creepy_. Takao can practically _hear_ the would-be tilde in the guy's speech. He is _never _going to call his grandfather weird ever again. At least his grandpa doesn't _leer_ at him. "So _you_, wild spirit of the wind, are the first out of the grand number of _two _students I am teaching it would seem! I applaud you, though I must warn you: even the smallest of teachers has fangs, and you will find this master of all things scholarly to be particularly fangy! Ha ha ha ha!"

Takao stares at the laughing old man with a growing sense of dread. Also, a growing headache. Said headache is, by now, pretty much equal to the size of the Tokyo Tower.

"Woah, woah, back up there," Takao tells the man, completely incredulous. "Are you trying to tell me _you're_ the summer school teacher?"

"Oooh, yes, indeed I am my little bumblebee! The proud summer school instructor of two very special students in_deed_, though it seems we are lacking one, and two minus one is only one! We are missing another one, though if you put two ones side by side that makes _eleven_, and that is not the number this class will have. _That_ number is two. See, we have barely started and already I am teaching you! Yes, yes, you will learn quickly and muchly this summer, I can see it."

There is a pause as both old man and Takao stare at each other.

"'Scuse me for a second," Takao tells the midget mental asylum for senior citizens escapee and moves to the wall before starting to repeatedly bang his head against it.

It does nothing to soothe his headache, but maybe if he manages to knock himself unconscious he will wake up from a coma ten years later and _then_ grandpa will be sorry he ever made him come to summer school early. Or at the very least it lets him blow off some steam.

Thump.

There is absolutely _no way_ that guy is his teacher. Also, it's statistically impossible that only _two_ people would need summer school, never mind the school staying open only for the two stupidest students in the_ universe _if they _are_ the only two who needed it.

Thump.

His teacher is an insane little old man slash faux-ghost who probably couldn't teach a dog how to _sit_ for a treat. His entire _future_ is based on a midget who probably ran away to the circus when he was a boy and was later abandoned _by_ said circus when they found out how completely crazy he was.

Thump.

"Yes, the wall-to-head banging is a very good way to let off steam," the old man tells him, completely unbothered by Takao's sudden wish to give himself a concussion and kill off his remaining brain cells. "It makes everything happy in your head!"

Thump.

He was doomed. Completely, totally, absolutely, utterly, _doomed_.

Thump.

"You may need to watch out for flying wall residues if you hit your head too hard, though. You might hurt somebody with them."

_**Thump**_.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Elsewhere, still in the same building but far, far away from the classroom where Takao was currently working on putting himself in a coma in the slowest way possible, Principal Daitenji is having a conversation with a middle school legend: Kai Hiwatari. . . . A middle school legend for all the wrong reasons, mind, but a middle school legend nonetheless.

"Now, Kai," Principal Daitenji starts, wiping the sweat off his brow with a handkerchief as he escorts the most reluctant teenager he has ever had the pleasure to know to his summer school classroom. "I know this may seem unnecessary to you, but I can't let you take the examinations if you did not attend your classes. I don't want to fail you, boy, and I'm sure you don't want to drop before at least finishing middle school."

Kai looks at him with a stare that is clearly meant to say 'actually, I don't give a fuck', but Principal Daitenji is the official principal of every school in Bey City (it is an overly excessive job, actually; he should probably ask for an assistant...) and has thus gotten _extremely_ apt at ignoring teenagers' dark looks. He has Russians in his school, after all.

Daitenji dabs at his brow again, sighing. "Well, whether or not you want to, the law is still the law. You're obliged to attend and finish middle school. Plus," Daitenji hesitates at this point, not really wanting to say what he was about to, "Your grandfather . . ."

Kai shrugs abruptly, the motion looking more like the jerk of a shoulder as the boy stares pointedly in front of him. "_Whatever_," he mutters viciously, and Daitenji decides to leave _that_ subject alone.

"There's one other boy with you," Daitenji continues, feeling slightly more confident. "He's probably already waiting for you in the classroom with your teacher; I'm sure you'll get along splendidly."

Again, Kai shoots his principal a look as he shoves his hands in his pockets, scoffing. This one obviously means 'you are delusional and need to get a mental health check'. Daitenji does not bother changing it to 'I _hope_ you get along', because that is probably far too personal for Kai's liking. Still, Daitenji is certain the boy only needs a friend or two to straighten him up.

Daitenji stops in front of a classroom (at the far, far end of the school, for some reason unknown to him but specified by the teacher, and while Tao is a wonderful colleague he can be a bit . . . special, in his own right) and beams at Kai.

"Ah, here we are," he says and opens the door.

The scene that greets them is, let's just say, _slightly_ odd.

To begin, Takao Kinomiya is currently banging his head against the wall, which cannot possibly be good for, well, _anything_. Worse, the responsible adult in the room is currently _encouraging_ him to keep doing it because it will 'let the demons out'.

Daitenji genuinely hopes Tao has not been drinking again.

"My _goodness_, what's going on here?" Daitenji demands.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Takao hadn't heard the door open -- it is terribly difficult to hear anything when you are trying to forcibly put yourself in a coma by way of thumps, let me tell you. He does, however, hear the extremely familiar voice of Principal Daitenji, which causes him to swivel around, both in shock at someone sane being present and because he was really hoping someone would stop him before the bruise on his forehead got any bigger.

It must be the size of his _face_ by now. It at least hurts like it.

"Principal!" Takao exclaims, almost giddily. His eyes widen in a plea he has practiced on his grandfather and friends and basically anyone who would look at him for years. "_Please_ tell me you're here to tell me this was all a horrible, horrible mistake and I can go home and there will be no more summer school _ever_."

Takao has the sentiment that he is probably not that lucky, but it doesn't hurt to hope.

"Hum . . . Takao, it seems you've already made acquaintance with your teacher, Tao," Daitenji begins, and with that single sentence _crushes all of Takao's hopes_. It turns out it does hurt to hope. Horribly. Takao visibly deflates and interrupts his principal, outraged and panicked.

"You mean he's _seriously_ my teacher?! But Mr D! That guy's _drunk_!"

Daitenji wipes the sweat off his brow in a nervous gesture all the students of Bey City can interpret perfectly, be they aged five or eighteen. "No, I'm afraid that's his natural disposition," Daitenji admits with a short laugh.

"Principal, it is as always an honour to see you shining like a pair of shoes in a bowling court," Tao, which is apparently Crazy Old McNugget's real name, says happily. Daitenji shakes his head slightly and coughs in his fist, shooting a disapproving look at Tao.

"I'd really rather you didn't try to confuse your students this early on in the day. Or at all, for that matter. This isn't one of your usual classes; you're only here to make sure these boys get the education they need. Even then, they're old enough to be left alone with the work to be done. There's no need for anything more than that."

Daitenji says all this with a slight scolding tone in his voice, the kind a teacher uses to warn his students to behave properly with the new substitute teacher. As that tone of voice _never works_, Takao is not reassured. Like, at all. Tao however simply smiles his creepy near-toothless smile and nods.

"Yes, of course, of course. One must learn with one's peer before moving on to fish bigger fries!"

Takao demands a Tao to normal people dictionary. It has _got_ to exist. How else does the principal know what that guy is saying?

"Right," Daitenji responds, sounding extraordinarily pleased for a guy who is leaving Takao's education in the hands of a madman who probably crossdresses in his spare time. While wearing a chicken suit. "Now, I'll leave you boys to your studies; I have a lot of work to do, and I'm sure you can introduce yourselves to each other on your own."

Daitenji gives a short nod of goodbye to both Tao and Takao, lifting his hat up slightly the way gentlemen do in old movies. He does the same to someone right behind him before leaving, and this is when Takao realises that the second student of summer school (and the fact that there really are only two students in this summer school is incredibly pathetic still) has been standing there all along. Takao didn't even notice the guy.

Now that he gets a good look at him, he's not sure _how_ he didn't. The guy has _two toned hair_, of all things. And what looks like either facial tattoos or make-up on his face. He's also wearing this really long white scarf in the _summer_. All in all, not your average kind of guy. He's probably a punk who thinks the scarf makes him look though or something.

_Heh, I bet you're suffering of heat stroke_, Takao thinks meanly, and almost misses Tao's witch cackle like laugh.

Almost, because it is a _witch cackle_ laugh and it terrified him deep in his bones in a way nothing else has ever terrified him. Except maybe that time he thought there was a ghost in the school... when was that?

Oh, right. About ten minutes ago.

"Well, well. It's a pleasure to meet the ever elusive Kai Hiwatari, and have him enter a classroom of mine is certainly no small feat, hmm? Many have tried, but all have failed~ isn't that how it goes?"

The guy is called Kai, it seems. The name Kai Hiwatari _seems_ familiar, but Takao has never seen this guy before, so he must be mistaken. Kai doesn't move to acknowledge Tao's weird comment (how elusive can a middle schooler -- who _failed_, to booth-- possibly be?) and simply stares at both of them levelly, without any kind of emotion on his face. Well, this guy's probably not invited to parties for his social skills. It looks like it's up to Takao's awesome human interaction powers to save the day, Takao decides, and completely ignores that he _has_ no awesome human interaction powers. He also ignores that it would probably be the lamest superpower in the known universe. It is cool to _him_. He goes up to Kai, thrusting a hand in front of him with a wide grin.

"Yo! I'm Takao Kinomiya. Looks like we'll be partnered up a lot this summer, huh?" Takao punctuates his 'joke' with a forced laugh, trying to make the Hiwatari-wall-person budge.

He gets an eyebrow raise for his efforts as the guy simply moves to walk past him without a word, leaving Takao standing there stupidly, gawking. Kai takes a seat at the far corner of the room, near the window. It is also the seat completely opposite Takao's, giving him an entire row of empty desks between them.

_Well, this guy is going to be _fun, Takao thinks sarcastically to himself, crossing his arms with a huff as he looks pointedly away from Jerkity McJerkJerk.

"Aaah, yes," Tao says with a smile, "I can smell the budding of a wonderful friendship exploding between the two of you. Now sit down, it is time for learning, young caterpillars!"

Whatever drug Tao takes, Takao wants some. It's the only way he'll be able to cope with this summer.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Summer school, it turns out, is a lot less like normal school than it should be. For a start, all the material is given to Kai and Takao in the form of exercise workbooks with all the explanations inside. Tao then proceeded to vanish from class for varying periods of 5 minutes to _three hours_ (okay, more like one, but still); in which all Takao had to do to unbore himself was his pile of workbooks.

Kai, for his part, has been staring out the window the entire morning. The guy hasn't even _touched_ his workbooks. Takao's pretty sure he hasn't even _moved_ since their 'work day' started. By now, he's convinced Kai's asleep. He can't tell if the guy's eyes are closed since he's turned away from him, but there is no other possible explanation unless the other boy is made of rock or something.

It's ten minutes before lunch break when Takao decides to prove his 'Kai-is-currently-sleeping-please-leave-a-message-after-the-glare' theory. Tao has disappeared again, probably reading fortune cookies translated from Chinese to Japanese to Hebrew back to Chinese or something, meaning Kai and Takao are all alone in the classroom. Also, it's ten minutes before lunch break; there is no possible way Takao can concentrate on _anything_ when he is starving to death.

Takao rises up from his desk, walking towards Kai's own. The other boy doesn't move, still seemingly looking out the window. Takao stops next to Kai's seat, tilting his head to try to see if Kai is sleeping. Kai's head is tilted down in a way that makes his bangs shadow his eyes, which means Takao has no clue whether or not he's sleeping. Takao puffs out his cheeks in annoyance.

Is _everything_ this guy does made to annoy him?

Takao moves his hand up to shake Kai by his shoulder, ever so slowly...

"Don't _touch_ me," a deep voice growls out, and Takao jumps and wrenches his hand away before even realising that _Kai_ was the one who just spoke. O_kay_, so maybe he wasn't sleeping.

"Just making sure you're still alive," Takao tells him, crossing his arms with a huff. "Sorry for caring. You always this grouchy when you wake up?"

Kai turns to look at him, eyes narrowed. "I'm always _grouchy_ when I'm dealing with idiots who don't understand the simple concept of _leaving me alone_."

Some people have sticks up their asses. Takao decides Kai has an _entire_ _forest_ in there. Of course now that Kai has said something like that, he can't leave well enough alone.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," Takao jests, rolling his eyes. "What happened, your mom doesn't approve of you using her make-up?"

The response is instantaneous.

One second Takao is standing next to Kai while the other is sitting; the next he is being held up almost a foot above the ground by his collar as Kai's chair clatters to the floor. Kai's eyes are narrowed into slits, but there's not even a sneer on his face as he regards Takao's wide eyed look.

"I think you didn't understand me," Kai speaks, tone of voice completely even despite Takao's current not-touching-the-floor position. "I'll enunciate it for you. Don't. Bother. _Me_." He drops Takao to the floor unceremoniously after this and Takao is still reeling from shock.

What the _fuck_ just happened there?

"Unless you don't particularly value your life," Kai adds, shrugging casually. He stalks out of the classroom, his long white scarf swishing behind him, just as Tao enters and the lunch bell rings.

Takao stares at Kai's back as he walks out, still flopped on the ground, completely bewildered.

"Aaah, yes. The buzzing bees of friendship are hard at work here, it seems!" Tao exclaims.

And, even though Takao thinks there is absolutely no way in the world he and Kai will _ever_ be friends, something else is indeed buzzing in him. It's his curiosity.

It's more than the guy just bugging him. Now, he _needs_ to know.

_Kai Hiwatari_, Takao vows, silently, _I will figure you out_.

Of course Takao takes bodily violence as a _challenge_.

"Does my buzzing student know it's lunch break, hmm?" Tao asks, humming as he takes a bite of his sandwich.

Ooooooh, _lunch_.

"Kai later," Takao mutters as he shoots to his feet and runs. "Lunch first!"

Tao is left alone in the classroom and he smiles secretly around his tea cup.

"Takao Kinomiya and Kai Hiwatari . . . what an odd pair you chose, Principal Daitenji."

* * *

This chapter . . . is ridiculous.

There is sincerely NOTHING ELSE I can say about it; as you can see the only _remotely_ serious character so far is Kai, and he has decided that since this chapter was parallel to chapter one, he was very much Not Going To Bother Talking Go Away.

I like the first half of the chapter best. Even though I wrote it with approximatively two hours of sleep. . . uhm.

I know I said no g-rev characters until year 3, but Tao is my exception because they do not . . . meet. Adults in season 3. Except for like, the bladebreakers' family, which is completely useless to me. (Randomly, they are twelve year olds in season 1. Why are they travelling through the world alone???) Also, there is a terrible "damn straight" "not literally" kind of bad joke in there. Yay.

Finally, Tao is in your base, foreshadowing you. :) Yay.

Enjoy!

-Zia


	3. Our Usual Spot

"Look, there's nothing to _tell_," Takao repeats exasperatedly for what seems, to him, like the billionth time in an hour. "It's not like there was any magic spell I used on Kai or something; we were both stuck together for the summer and Kai got used to me. That's pretty much it."

The nurse's office is not a particularly interesting place. It looks like a simplistic hospital room with a gigantic file cabinet in the corner of the room and posters promoting safe sex on the walls. Instead of magazines there are pamphlets on different diseases, most of them STDs, in proud display. Max is currently leafing through one on contraceptive methods, which they found when Takao discovered what he thought to be a box of candy. Condoms, unfortunately, have nothing in common with candy. Except, Rei was quick to point out when they found the box of 'candy', for the different flavours. Takao is sitting on the bed next to the still passed out Chief. The nurse wasn't even in her office, so the boys had simply dumped him on the bed and decided to wait it out.

So far, they have missed half an hour of class thanks to this.

"There's no way Kai just 'got used to you'," Max tells him half-mindedly, not bothering to look up from his pamphlet. His head is tilted slightly to the left as he tries to figure out something. "His gang members have known him from ages and aren't friends with him, they're just his lackeys. Also, why would you rip a condom open with your teeth?"

"You thought it was candy?" Rei answers with a cheeky grin at Takao and ducks when the other boy throws him a handful of condoms.

"It shouldn't come in colourful wrappings, okay?!" Takao bites out as an explanation, wishing sorely he couldn't still taste what Max informed him was _lubricant_ in his mouth. "And would you just stop making a big deal out of Kai? He's just some guy with an attitude problem, that's all."

"Tell that to that kid he put in the hospital," Max says with an amused grin, putting down the pamphlet. "He's a local legend. There's gotta be more to him than 'just an attitude problem'."

Rei picks up another pamphlet at random before handing it out to Max, who has been punctuating his questioning of Takao with reading random sentences of the pamphlets until Rei guesses what it's about or Max gets bored of it. Takao, for his part, tries very hard to ignore the lecture on pamphlets. The ones about various symptoms of STDs gross him out, and unfortunately those are the ones Rei seems to pick out the most often. There is nothing _right_ about having _mushrooms_ down _there_, damn it.

"It almost sounds like you're jealous of all the attention he's getting," Rei mentions casually, observing a condom critically. "Why is it wrapped in bright pink? I doubt there's any self-respecting guy who'd pick out the one condom in the box wrapped in pink."

"I'm not _jealous_ of Kai just because people _obsess_ over him like he's the biggest thing since _pizza_," Takao retorts, standing up and crossing his arms, eyes closed as he does his best impression of Kai's voice. "Look at me. I'm dark and mysterious because I threw some paint in my face in kindergarten and kept it 'cause I thought it looked cool. I'm so badass, the walls crumble when I stare at them. I wear scarves during summer because dying of heatstroke sounds appealing to me. I--"

"Am standing right here, Kinomiya," a deep voice interrupts Takao's spiel, and Takao freezes where he stands. _Oh crap,_ Takao thinks, panicked, _I am going to die_. He opens his eyes slowly, cringing, preparing himself to meet his maker and apologize to his ancestors for leading the most boring life ever and letting their line die out --

Only to find himself face to face with not Kai but Rei and Max's laughing faces as he is met with a distinct lack of Kai.

"Huh?" Takao says intelligently, turning around to see the Chief sitting behind him, laptop out and a dark smile on his face. . . . Did Kai learn to teleport in and out of his life to scare the shit out of him or something?

"Oh, man, Taka," Max manages to chortle out, holding his stomach. "You should've seen your _face_."

Takao decides his friends _suck_ if all they do when he's faced with his imminent death is laugh. Takao looks up at the ceiling, trying to see if Kai was in the ventilation and spoke from there, or maybe Kai is secretly a scarier version of Spiderman. There is, however, a distinct lack of presence on the ceiling. Also, a distinct lack of ventilation, which rules that one out.

"Did Kai turn invisible?" Takao asks, because that's the only plausible explanation left, really. His question only causes Rei and Max to start another fit of laughter. Max is holding his sides, leaning against the 'pamphlet shelf', unable to hold himself upright on his own. Rei is slightly more composed but still laughing his ass off.

Bunch of jerks.

"Takao," the Chief calls, drawing back Takao's attention to him. "Kai didn't turn invisible. In fact, he was never here."

. . . Was there a Kai hologram hanging around in school? Because that was a pretty creepy idea. Not that Kai being Spiderman or invisible weren't creepy ideas, but _still_. His confusion must've shown on his face, because the other boy laughs and presses a key on his laptop and approaches what seems to be a -- microphone?

"So you think you're tougher than me, don't you, Kinomiya?" Kai's voice sounds out as the Chief speaks into it.

Never mind Kai holograms being creepy, _this_ was the scariest shit he had ever seen in his entire _life_. Takao makes a small keening noise in the back of his throat, shooting upwards and making an X with his arms.

"That is so _wrong_," Takao shouts out, shaking his head wildly from side to side. "Chief with Kai's voice... Aaaaauuuuuuugh! So, so, _so_ wrong!"

Max is by now on the floor, tears streaming down his face, still holding onto his stomach. "I give," he manages to choke out. "I give, this is too much, my ribs hurt!"

Rei grins, shooting a hand up in the air. "I call second dibs on that voice regulator of yours, Chief."

Takao's eye twitches violently. "You guys are the worst friends ever," he whines, kicking the floor. "What was the point of that, anyway?!"

The Chief sighs. "Takao... I just don't think you're taking Kai seriously," he admits, staring at his laptop. "He's more than your typical rebel."

Takao frowns, crossing his arms as he looks up with a sigh. "Geez, you act like the guy's a murderer. I'll say it one last time; stop making a big deal out of it. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I just don't want you to get hurt, Takao," the Chief says sincerely. Max and Rei share a look as Takao stares at the other boy.

"... I'm not the one currently at the nurse's office on my first day," Takao points out, and the Chief groans as the other three laugh.

Besides, Takao thinks, he can't back off _now_. It's too late.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The 'usual spot' is a riverbank.

There's only one river in Bey City; it runs through the entire town, separating it in two. It's not that big, a few meters in width only, but the current is strong and the river is deep enough that no one ever bathes in it. The river is low enough that the earth above it dives into an angle before going flat at the shore. The usual spot at the riverbank was never really meant to _be_ a usual spot; but except for the classroom or the school roof (_any_ school roof); it was the only spot he ever met Kai at, and sometime during the summer they both started calling it the 'usual spot'.

To anyone else, it would be a pretty random spot. The only thing that differentiates it from all the other usual spots is the bridge not too far from it. Underneath the bridge is where... Takao shakes his head. Ah, he's getting distracted.

Takao gets there at 3:40, twenty minutes after class lets out. It took him ten minutes to shake off Max, Rei and the Chief, who all wanted to see the usual spot -- well, okay, maybe not the Chief, since his reaction to Kai was still hiding behind the nearest object or pass out and spend an entire class 'recovering'. Not exactly the best excuse to miss class, actually: I passed out because Kai can make me pee my pants with a single look. Takao really needs to learn how he does that. Still, the teacher had actually been pretty forgiving with all of them, which only confirms that Kai is just Generally That Scary. Or something like that, Takao tries not to think about it too hard.

When he gets there, Kai is already there, standing next to the water. Of course the guy can't be sitting, that would be too _normal_. At least this time his scarf isn't blowing in the wind dramatically, Takao comforts himself, though that's probably because he isn't wearing it.

"Hey, Kai!" Takao calls out, letting himself slide down the hill instead of running the distance. He doesn't even try to jump on Kai -- he learned his lesson the first time he _did_ try it. It hurt.

A lot.

"How've you been?" Takao asks when he gets next to the other boy, who doesn't even bother turning away from staring at the river. Jerk. "I haven't seen you since summer school ended, man!"

Kai turns his head ever-so-slightly to look at him, deadpan expression in place. "You saw me at lunch, Kinomiya," he answers, and Takao has to resist the urge to push him in the river. He'd tried that before, too, and also learned his lesson then. ... Sigh. One day, he'd get the best of Kai. One day.

"Kaiiiii," Takao whines. "You know what I mean! You never even gave me your phone number or address so I could see you or something."

Not that Takao ever honestly expected him to-- all he knows about Kai's life is that he lives with his grandfather. He doesn't know if Kai has any other family or even what the old man looks like. Still, maybe Kai will feel guilty and give him his phone number.

_Yeah_, Takao scoffs himself, _also, it'll rain candy tonight_.

"Because I _want_ to be harassed 24/7 by you?" Kai drawls, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "What am I, your babysitter?"

"Waaah, waaah," Takao whines, trying to cling to Kai and missing when the other boy takes a step back, eyes wide. Takao doesn't let this bother him, looking up at Kai with a wide and sad expression. "I want you to tell me a stowyyyy and give me some juiiiiice."

Kai looks completely disgusted by the display. Takao blinks his eyes repeatedly. "Pwease?"

"I'll throw you in the river," Kai says, and Takao knows it's not a warning so much as a fact, so he stops with a laugh.

"Aw, c'mon, Kai, lighten up a little! You gotta admit you missed me too, right? Otherwise why else would you want to spend time with me?"

Kai stares at him intensely instead of answering, and Takao tries his best to keep up his own staring. It's difficult to concentrate on staring back. Kai must have had _ages_ of practice to keep it up for this long without being distracted. It's as if Kai is searching out and trying to read Takao's very _soul_. It's a bit creepy, though the Chief would probably have said _terrifying_. Takao doesn't think so. Sure, Kai's eyes are a weird shade of reddish purple and when he looks at you like that it's like he's concentrating all his energy at you-- Gramps would probably say his eyes are 'smouldering', or something equally romantic-- but it's just the way Kai is.

... Probably. He's more likely trying to see if he can melt Takao's brain with his eyes.

"Kaiiiii?" Takao questions after a while, growing restless.

Kai turns away from him to stare at the river with a frown. "If I hadn't come to see you, you'd have harassed the entire school about my whereabouts," he states with a shrug.

It's true, of course, but Takao still crosses his arms and pouts. "I would not," he protests. "I wouldn't even _care_ if you didn't show up for a month." To prove this point, he sits himself down on the grass with flair, taking a pebble and throwing it in the river.

Kai shrugs again. "Alright," he says, then turns and walks away.

Takao scrambles to get up halfway, tugging at Kai's arm -- who wrenches it back, of course, but he _does _stop his walking away routine. "It's a jooooke, get a sense of humour already," he pouts. Kai rolls his eyes but sits next to him anyway, one knee drawn up. He rests an arm against his knee casually. Takao waits for an answer as he sits himself back down, looking at Kai out of the corner of his eyes to make sure he doesn't decide to go 'psych!' and run away or something.

They stay like this for a while, just staring out at the river. Takao ends up taking off his school blazer after a while-- the breeze is nice, but it's still pretty hot out. He spreads his legs out, bracing himself on his arms as he takes a deep breath. It's a relaxing place.

"... Who were they?" Kai asks him after a while, and Takao turns to him with a confused frown. 'They'? Kai frowns right back, his nose scrunching up a little. "Your 'table companions'," he explains, exasperated. Takao can almost see the quotation marks around the words.

"Oh! You mean my _friends_," Takao corrects, rolling his eyes. Trust Kai not to want to use the word. "Well, the guy who fainted was the Chief -- I told you about him, remember?"

"The nerd," Kai says, and Takao nods in agreement until he realizes _exactly_ what Kai said.

"Hey! No!" Takao protests. "The _geek_."

Kai stares at him as if he's a little stupid. "Whatever," he answers, rolling his eyes. "The other two?"

"Oh, right. Maxie's the blond guy," Takao explains. "Well, technically his name is Max, but anyway, I told you about him too. ... You know, I didn't think you actually listened, but you remember Chief, so I guess you did."

"Believe me, I didn't want to," Kai mutters viciously plucking a strand of grass. Takao sticks his tongue out at him. "I'll rip it out," Kai warns, and Takao puts his back in his mouth with a squeak.

"Uh... where was I? Oh, right, the last one is Rei. He's Maxie's new friend. They met in New York. That's pretty much all I know."

Kai hums in answer and Takao looks at him curiously. "Why d'you wanna know anyway? Worried I'm dumping you for better friends?" Takao jokes, a shit eating grin in place.

"I wish I was that lucky," Kai deadpans, not even looking at Takao as he says it. Takao groans and lets himself fall on his back, disappointed. Was Kai born to make mean comebacks or something? Uuuugh.

"You're hurting my feeliiiings," Takao whines. "Would it kill you to be nice for once?"

"Yes," Kai responds with no hesitation whatsoever.

"... Well that was straightforward."

They stay like that again for a while, enjoying each other's company. When Kai isn't using his imposing persona to scare off people he's a pretty calming guy to be around, Takao thinks, breathing in the air. He's not stupid, he can see why people would be scared of Kai at first glance (or... even second or third), but really, when you get down to it, Kai _is_ human. He's still another teenage boy, though he might have went through puberty earlier than most, considering his voice is _unusually_ deep. So he has issues, who doesn't? It's because everyone gives him such a wide berth that Kai believes himself so superior, Takao's sure of it. He just needs someone to bring him back down to Earth and remind him what being a kid is all about. It sounds easy enough... Anyway, except for an exceptionally big ego and the whole 'gang' thing, it's not like Kai has any problems out of the ordinary, right? Right. He's totally not that complicated once you get down to it.

Kai gets up, slowly, throwing Takao out of his daydreaming. Takao sits up to stare at him as he brushes invisible grass from his pants. "Where you going?" Takao asks. "It's only..." he looks at his watch and nearly chokes."... Almost four thirty, wow. Guess I should go too before Gramps gets an aneurysm."

Takao stands up, brushing off his own pants. "Guess you have to get going to your grandfather too, huh?" Takao asks without looking up.

"... Something like that," Kai answers in a soft voice and Takao looks up at the tone with a frown. Kai's head is bowed, his eyes shadowed by his bangs -- he probably keeps his hair like this just so he can do that, the bastard.

"... You okay?" Takao asks.

Kai doesn't look up and only shrugs a shoulder, a jerky movement that proves he's way too tense for Takao only having mentioned his grandfather. What, did the old man die recently or something? "Later, Kinomiya," Kai says, turning around and walking off, leaving Takao bewildered for a moment.

"... Hey, wait--" Takao tries, but Kai doesn't stop, so he just sighs and shouts: "Hey! Will I see you tomorrow?!"

Kai doesn't pause or turns, but he answers, loud and clear:

"Who knows?"

... And that answers nothing at all, actually. Takao blinks and lets himself drop down with a groan.

Kai has got to be the most frustrating person in the entire _world_. There's nothing else to it. Whatever, Takao decides. Whether or not he wants to, Kai _will_ be properly introduced to Max, Rei and the Chief and hang out with all of them. He's going to make a friend out of Kai if it _kills_ him.

Takao just hopes the Chief doesn't pass out again when it happens. Skipping class is fun, but he _really_ doesn't want to have to hear Max and Rei explain the workings of safe sex from a pamphlet again.

"... Wait, didn't I have kendo practice?"

Oh, _crap_. Gramps was going to _kill him_.

* * *

This chapter. This _chapter_ did not want to write itself, god.

Alright, reminder: each second or third chapter will be SUMMER SCHOOL because the stories are working _parallel_. Takao is not telling this to anyone. 'Kay? It's like two stories in one! Everyone got that? Goodie.

Next chapter is supposedly the last of my intro, and thank god because 4 chapters of intro is long enough, don't you think? Except for summer school, I am taking a break after that from writing from Takao's POV, because I will end up killing myself if I only keep up with the guy. Next arc Rei gets to narrate! Isn't that a grand break? ... it is for me. Go away. ):

As always, any question and I will answer them! Also, keep in mind anything relating to school in this fic is a parody. The relationship between Kai and Takao isn't, but that's... pretty much the only thing. The nurse's office is based on the one I had in high school. ... Also, Rei is not aware girls buy condoms too. Silly Rei. :3

Hope you liked it! ...even though it is short and WOULD NOT WRITE ITSELF ):

-Zia


	4. Hi Deedle Dee Dee, A Sucky Life For Me

Lunch period, Takao realizes dejectedly, absolutely _blows_ when you're all alone.

In theory, Takao had an hour and a half lunch break. That kind of time was useless when he could just finish his lunch in ten minutes or less, however. Normally, he'd have spent the rest of the time talking with his friends or starting a food fight (Takao is famous for starting the biggest food fights in the history of his middle school) but as it stands, right now Takao is terribly, horribly, totally _alone_. And, well, it sucks. There is nothing to do when you're alone in school. Oh, sure, Takao _could_ read or do some more work or something, but he's just spent the last few hours _working_ already, he's not about to start doing it _again_. Everyone has a limit to how productive they can be before they need to take a break. Otherwise they would hang themselves in the middle of a classroom with Tao looking at them; ooh-ing and saying something stupid like 'It looks like the wings of our young butterfly choked him with butter'.

...Okay, maybe that last option can only happen to Takao. But _still_. The point stands: Takao is bored. Takao is bored, bored, bored, bored, _bored_. Worse than bored; Takao was bored _and_ alone.

"Uuuurgh," Takao moans aloud, letting himself flop down on the cafeteria table face first. Table, meet Takao's squished face. Takao's squished face, meet table. "Being bored _sucks_. Summer school sucks. Tao sucks. Gramps sucks. Kai sucks _a lot_. Everything in my entire life _suuuuuuuucks_!"

Takao finishes this with a yell, lifting himself up from the table (who would be quite glad to see him go if tables _could_ be glad) and throwing his arms in the air to emphasize his point. Now, normally this over-dramatic acting would serve to raise at least a few eyebrows from the people around him. _Normally_, however, there were actually _people_ around him so that they could raise their eyebrows. There were none right at this moment. In fact, the cafeteria was completely empty save for Takao.

And the dead cricket at the end of Takao's table. ...

Ew.

"You're gonna hafta bring some home sourced grub," Takao mumbles in a perfect replication of his grandfather's so-called 'hip accent' (perfect replication being attained through years of practice and even more years of being subjected to it, much to Takao's regret). "Yeah, homie, them cafeteria ladies ain't working for nooo slacker student, ya dig?"

Takao resists the urge to bang his head on the table solely because of the giant bruise on his forehead from banging it against the wall this morning. It throbs rhythmically with his pounding headache.

"Everyone has the summer off but meeeeeee," Takao whines aloud. Again. If the walls had ears, they would sorely regret them. "Even the stinking janitor has off. ... Or, well, if he doesn't, he's doing a lousy job keeping this place clean. Just how long as this cricket _been_ here?"

Now this was going into a territory Takao definitely did not want to think about.

"Aah, but how will Pinocchio become a real boy if he does not have his conscience nearby, hmmm?" A voice drawls from behind him, and Takao leaps off the bench with a yell, taking a defensive position. Or tries to, as he fell off the bench in his hurry and is now half-sprawled on the floor, eyes squeezed shut.

"You came to me first Kai you can't kill me!" Takao screams.

"Unfortunately, young bumblebee, you must be this tall to ride that roller coaster," the voice responds, and Takao opens his eyes at the realization that no, Kai does not sound like a drunken old man. He also doesn't speak in weird metaphors with connotations that would probably make even _Max_ blush.

"How do you _do _that?!" Takao questions, turning back to look at the closed cafeteria doors. He should have heard the man come in, but apparently everything surrounding Tao is illogical, _including_ the laws of physics. "It's like you're a ninja or something. If ninjas came in pocket-size and drank more alcohol than they killed people, anyway..."

Tao ignores him, either on purpose or because the man is just _that_ drunk, Takao doesn't know. "Hmhmhmm, I heard your cries of woe, and came to the rescue! Now, you seem to have found companionship on this dreary Thursday."

"It's Monday," Takao corrects him, "and _that's_ a dead cricket."

"You must not judge by appearances! Even the grouchiest of exteriors can hide a gooey marshmallow center of friendship," Tao tells him seriously. Takao stares at him like he's a little strange, and, well, Tao is more than a _little_ strange, to be perfectly honest.

"It's a dead cricket," he repeats, completely deadpan.

"Is it? Or is it simply _pretending_ to be dead, to hide all its emotional wounds? Are you simply too ignorant to see the cricket for what it truly is?"

Takao is really not sure they are talking about the cricket anymore. What he is certain of, however, is that Tao just insulted his intelligence. This coming from a guy who shows up drunk at nine in the morning, Takao thinks sourly. ... Wait, if he was drunk three hours ago, how is he _still_ drunk now?

Takao is suddenly glad he rejected Tao's offer of tea earlier.

"Look, a dead cricket's a dead cricket," Takao tries to reason with the man, lifting his arms up in defense and realizing he is still sprawled on the floor. So much for dignity. "There's really nothing else to it."

"But the cricket still has a heart that beats, like you and I, does it not?"

Takao takes a minute to properly digest that comment. As it does not sound any less stupid after a minute, he resists the urge to hang himself right then and there.

"... No, it doesn't," Takao answers, as calmly and unpatronizingly as possible considering the circumstances (read: not very), "because it's dead."

Tao sighs and shakes his head. "Aaah, to be young and foolish again, not seeing the true worth of a dead cricket..."

"Dead cricket, you are my only friend," Takao mumbles as Tao starts a rant about the value of life and death and how being dead does not change life and bla...bla...bla, it all sounds the same to _his_ ears. He looks towards the ceiling with a pained expression. "You're the only sane one in this place."

Why did all the old people he knew have to be crazy? Maybe there was something in the prune juice.

"My young student Rei was quite like you, long ago... Of course Rei was six or so back then, but that may just be slow development on your part, Rei was always the quick student after all..."

Why did he not let Kai kill him when he had the chance? Why??

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

It takes a while, but Takao manages to get away from Tao through use of sheer cunning and desperation. ... Mostly desperation, as pointing behind Tao and saying: 'Look! Flying beavers!' and running away like the devil himself is after him does not actually take a lot of cunning. Hey, whatever works. Still, Takao was pretty surprised when Tao turned away, considering that, though Takao has never seen a beaver in his life, he's _pretty sure_ they don't fly. He'll have to ask the Chief when the boy was back from computer camp. Maybe their flat tails are actually aerodynamic...?

Regardless, Takao is now safe. Unless Tao decides to stalk him, dead cricket in hand. . . But he has a foolproof plan for that: hide. This is why Takao is now heading to the roof of the school. This might seem an obvious hiding place to some, but Takao learned last year that, through a design flaw of some kind, the door that leads to the roof locks from the outside. It's a pretty huge design flaw, all things considered; if a suicidal middle-schooler suddenly decides to jump off the roof, the time it would take to force the door open would probably be enough so the kid would have already undergone his jump. But since that scenario has yet to happen, the school has never bothered changing the lock. Besides, even if there was a suicide attempt from the roof, it's pretty unlikely anyone would die from a three stories-high jump. All this makes the roof the perfect hiding place from bullies or, in Takao's case, from crazy teachers that _really freak him out_.

It also has a nice view of the river, which is always a bonus.

Takao steps unto the roof, locking the door behind him, and takes a breath of the fresh summer breeze. It's not that hot out, which just makes it all the more annoying that Takao has summer school. He sighs dejectedly at the thought, looking around the roof mournfully.

That's when he notices the other presence on the roof.

Sitting on the very edge of the roof is none other than Kai, one leg dangling and the other pulled back, one arm resting against it casually. In his other hand, Kai is holding an apple, and Takao stares as he raises it slowly and takes the tiniest possible bite out of it, the wind playing with his scarf and making it billow dramatically.

The guy shows off _even when he is alone_, Takao thinks desperately, and resists the urge to throw himself off the roof. He also tries not to think about how he would never be able to look that cool even when trying, because the reason Kai is that cool is that he probably exchanged any humanity in him for the ability to look cool no matter the circumstance. It just makes _sense_.

Takao, partly because he is tired of observing Kai chew and partly because he has been having suicidal urges all day, approaches and calls out: "If you're contemplating jumping off, you should find a taller building."

Kai's body apparently has the ability to tense faster than lightning, because one second he seems completely relaxed and contemplative and the next he seems ready for a fight. Kai swivels his head around to glare at Takao, the hand holding the apple turned white as he grabs hold of the roof so the swiveling does not actually make him fall off. Takao takes a step back and rubs the back of his head with a nervous laugh. And again, Kai proves to have no sense of humour whatsoever. Geesh.

"That's rich, coming from the suicidal idiot." Kai says, and though his entire body is screaming _I will murder you in your sleep_, there's no inflection in his voice. "Or did you forget that I told you to leave me alone? If you don't think I'm serious, I can demonstrate."

_Really_ can't take a joke. Ooookay then. "Uh, you know what, I think I'll pass. I kind of like my vital organs _in_ my body."

"I wouldn't kill you," Kai deadpans. "You said it yourself; the fall from the roof isn't high enough for _that_."

... Wow, that almost sounded like a joke. Takao stares at Kai, bewildered. A really morbid joke, but still. Maybe the guy isn't that bad. If you ignore the extremely violent personality, that is. And the fact that he's pretty much a jerk. Those are pretty hard things to ignore, though.

"Alright," Takao says, crossing his arms, "I get it! You don't like me."

"Wow, that took a while for you to understand," Kai interrupts, and Takao glares at him, huffing in annoyance.

"_Whatever_. What I meant to say before I was interrupted was, I dunno why you don't, but face it, pal, we're stuck together for the rest of this summer torture, and if we spent all of it trying to murder each other-- or, uuuh, you trying to murder me and me annoying you by principle-- it'll _suck_. More than it does already, anyway..."

Kai, who must be _magic _for not having a crick in his neck after all this time, scoffs. "Your point being?"

"Truce!" Takao exclaims, and Kai raises a dubious eyebrow, as if he was unaware that it would turn into a mini-war had it gone on. Takao knows it would, however. He's watched a lot of teen movies. "I'm not saying we have to be friends or anything, just, you know, decent human beings. Acquaintances. Something that doesn't revolve in murder and me being stuck with a dead cricket as my sole companion against Tao's insanity. Don't ask," Takao adds at Kai's raised eyebrow. "So... what do you say?" Takao finishes lamely, and sincerely hopes this works. His 'living' status depends on it.

Tao _might _make him want to kill himself, but being brutally murdered is still not on the top ten of Takao's list of 'ways to go'. Also, he doesn't want to apologize to his ancestors forever when he dies for having lead a terribly uninteresting life and never having finished middle school. His grandfather is bad enough; he really doesn't want to know what the rest of the family would do.

Kai doesn't answer, instead turning back to look at the scenery. The wind blows his scarf around again. It's a very swishy scarf, Takao notices, and amuses himself by watching it flutter every which way. Swiiish. Swishswish. Swiiish.

Kai might end up suffering from heatstroke because of it, but _man_, that scarf is kind of awesome.

"I don't speak silence," Takao mumbles with a pout, "It's a simple yes or no question, c'mon."

Kai stands up suddenly, chucking his barely-eaten apple off the roof as he does. Takao weeps inside for the loss of perfectly good food, though he is distracted by the bang the apple makes as it lands. Apparently, Kai managed to chuck his apple into a garbage can three stories below.

... Well, that was vaguely badass, even if random.

"Whatever," Kai speaks up suddenly, and Takao blinks in bewilderment as Kai suddenly walks past him and swiftly unlocks the door, stepping inside the school before Takao can manage a proper response.

That routine is starting to get old, really.

"... Was that a yes or a no?" Takao wonders aloud and groans, raising his arms skyward as he yells out in frustration. "Aaaargh, what is it with people these days?! Can no one express themselves _normally_ anymore??!"

The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch.

"... I'll take that as a no," Takao deadpans.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The rest of the day passes much like the beginning of it; Kai and Takao working on each side of the room, silent, while Tao seems to get drunker and drunker. Or so it looks like it to Takao, because their teacher giggles and blushes more and more as time goes on, reading a magazine and sipping his so-called 'tea'.

When the bell rings to signal the end of the day, Takao feels like he has never been more relieved in his entire life. If this is what his entire summer will be like, he's ready to throw in the towel already. He'd rather become a hobo or perform _harakiri_ then suffer two months of pure silence and awkwardness. Uuurgh. Still, Takao doesn't seem nearly as glad to be out of here as Kai, who seems to have the ability to know the exact moment the bell will ring so that he can make dramatic exits. Takao is by now convinced Kai is not human.

Now, Takao is walking home rather slowly, because he just knows his grandfather will have a gazillion and one chores to do, further proving his theory that this summer will be a complete and utter _drag_. Takao crosses his arms behind his head with a sigh, staring at the sky.

"Even if I didn't have summer school," Takao muses aloud, "What would I do without the Chief and Max here? Sure, I have other acquaintances, but it just wouldn't be the same... Maybe I should count myself lucky I have something to do all day...."

Takao stops walking for a second as he pauses. He shakes his head wildly, flailing his hands around.

"Uuurgh! What am I saying! Anything's better than school!" Takao screams out, ignoring the passer-bys throwing him weird looks.

Takao decides that, if such horrible, horrible thoughts are entering his head, he definitely needs a break. Luckily for him, there's a perfect place to clear his mind that's right on the way home. The riverbank. Nothing more calming than letting your feet dip in the water on a hot summer day. Hmhmmmm. Sure, it's not that hot out, but it would still be refreshing. Takao grins happily as he starts to walk again, determined to fully enjoy the few hours of freedom he has left of his day. He walks a bit faster when he can see the river from further away, a skip in his steps.

He stops in shock when he sees the riverbank, however. Because, to prove to Takao that his life is officially screwed beyond belief, Kai Hiwatari is standing on the edge of the river, scarf billowing in the wind (again, Takao thinks exasperatedly).

Could Takao's luck suck any more than it already does? Honestly...

Takao considers going down and trying to talk to Kai again for a while. After all, it doesn't hurt to just try, right? ... Then again, Kai might think Takao is stalking him or something. How often is the excuse 'oh, I was just passing by' _actually_ true? From what Takao knows, it's practically never.

Argh, what has he got to lose anyway? It's not like the guy will kill him if he says _hello_. Still, it never hurts to be cautious, and Takao decides to not go down the hill just yet. It's perfectly safe up here, after all.

"Oi, Kai!" Takao calls out, and Kai wrenches his gaze away from the river to glare at him. Or maybe he's just blinded by the sun, considering from that angle the sun is pretty up high. Takao really hopes it's the sun. "Fancy meeting you here, huh?"

Kai doesn't answer, simply continues to stare at him until Takao gets nervous and adds, quickly: "So, uh... come here often?"

Mentally, Takao facepalms. That was _so _uncool. Besides, it's the _riverbank_. Everyone comes to the riverbank; just different parts of it. In fact, the only thing that makes this part of it different than any other is the bridge right next to it.

"Every day," Kai answers, and it takes a while for Takao to realize that, yes, Kai _did_ continue the conversation. Takao pinches himself to make sure he isn't dreaming before daring to answer. He also considers the idea that this is a hallucination of Kai, but that's just _silly_. Why would he have a hallucination about _Kai_ of all people?

"This particular spot?" Takao asks, and manages to convince himself it is not a stupid question, damn it. "Because I've never seen you here before, and my house is this way..."

Takao trails off with a shrug awkwardly. Kai's head turns towards the river a little for a second and he shrugs back. They have a kinship in shrugs if nothing else, Takao comforts himself. He'll take that answer as a yes, though it's probably more a 'whatever' or a 'you are too stupid to exist' in Kaiese. Maybe Takao will learn how to speak that mysterious language composed of jerks of shoulders and grunts one day.

"Do you live around here?" Takao tries again, and admits that the fact he is up on the hill and Kai is down the hill makes this a rather awkward angle to have a conversation at. Meh, safety first.

"No," Kai tells him bluntly.

Having a conversation with this guy is impossible in general, Takao decides with a huff. There's no way he can watch the river with Kai here, though, and so Takao resigns himself to the idea of going back home.

"I guess I'll head back home now," Takao says, scratching the back of his neck.

"You do that," Kai dismisses him, turning back to stare at the river. Takao sticks out his tongue at the other boy. What a jerk.

"I'll see you tomorrow!" Takao calls before starting to cross the bridge.

He doesn't turn back, and so he doesn't notice the intrigued look Kai sends him as he watches him walk away. When Takao is long gone, Kai turns to glare at the river, but his thoughts are on the boy heading back home.

"Kinomiya Takao," Kai muses aloud, "Just what do you want?"

At the same moment, Takao wonders: _Just what's up with that guy?_

For both boys, there is no answer. Not yet.

* * *

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT WOULD NOT WRITE THEMSELVES this chapteeeeeeeeer.

I have multiple excuse for this having taken forever to write; first it would not write itself (I had the biggest writer's block in the universe). Also, real life decided to explode in my face. As did my laptop! So yeah. SORRY ABOUT THAT. And now for the normal author's notes!

This is the last introductory chapter! I am so happy guys. Also, you may have noticed, but Tao is kind of my plot device to make Takao do things. Alas. I have honestly no idea what is in this chapter anymore except DEAD CRICKETS and other obvious Disney references. Uuuh. Well. There is Takao and Kai meeting properly! sort of. As always! If you have a question, I'll be happy to answer, and next chapter is Rei-Rei's~ and sortakinda parallel with the Asian Tournament in season 1. ALSO YES TAKAO DID FORGET THAT TAO MENTIONED REI. TAKAO IS KIND OF DUMB LIKE THAT. There might be foreshadowing in this??? But it is very slight. Also, notice how Kai is not used to people actively interacting with him in a sort-of-fearless way. Yeaaah that's. Pretty much it. This is what writing the author's note at four am gets me. FOREVER REMINDERS: Your Own Personal Hell is part one of a (theoritically) three parter series. Every second or third chapter of this fic is summer school, because both stories run ~parallel~ of each other. Also 99% of this fic is a huge parody. So yeah.

Hope you enjoyed it!

-Zia


	5. In A Cat's Eye

I have to admit, I had a lot of expectations when I graduated from middle school. Don't get me wrong, I didn't put high school on a pedestal or anything -- actually, I was pretty down to Earth about it. I thought high school would be the same as every other school I'd gone to before. Boring classes, a few good and interesting teachers, terrible cafeteria food --

Well, I bring my own homemade lunch, but the point stands. I thought high school would be like the rest of my life: predictable. I'd hang out with the same friends, do the same activities, maybe date a little, and then when graduation came I would know all about my classmates, but all they'd know about me is "that's Rei, he's that guy from that Chinese clique". I figured I'd end up with 'most likely to end up married with three kids' in the graduation yearbook, or whatever you call it.

I didn't know if I wanted that kind of life. I mean, I was barely sixteen and I could already predict how the rest of my life would go. It was pretty terrifying, I have to admit. I wanted so much more than that, though. Call it teenage rebellion, a phase-- it's what I did. But I indulged myself in that phase. Some kids run away from home; I decided to visit America for the summer. It prided itself on being a free country, and what I wanted most of all was to be free. If I could taste freedom just for one summer, I'd be fine returning to my normal, boring life with the same four friends I'd always had.

... Said like that, it sounds like I had a midlife crisis. I swear I'm not mentally forty! I'd always wanted to see the world; I got the opportunity, so I acted out on it. I'm not that fond of the Status Quo, you know? I was willing to go along with it, but not without testing out what life without it was at least once. That way, I could say I'd at least tried.

I travelled all over the United States -- or, well, that's what I planned to do, but I never managed to go down south. From what I've heard of Texas and Florida, I haven't missed out on much. ... Is Florida down south? Boy do I get the feeling I must look stupid saying stuff like that. I know where every country in the world is located; just don't ask me to figure out how the United States of America works. I'm a Chinese kid living in Japan, give me a break.

Back to business, though. When I was visiting New York, I met Max -- thoroughly incidentally. It's a long story that has to do with being lost and hot dog stands that disappear suddenly...

Hot dogs, by the way, are really good. Even covered in mayo! ... Don't tell anyone I said that, though. I'm supposed to love fine cuisine just because I'm a wannabe-chef. Just because I like to cook delicious meals doesn't mean I can't enjoy something made of different, unidentifiable parts of animals...

Hey, if you're allowed to drift into different subjects, so am I! Anyway, I met up with Max, and we pretty much hit it off right away. It was so weird -- I'd never had a friend outside of the 'Bai Hu Zu' before, and Max was pretty different from them. So I ended up staying in New York, and spent the last of the summer with him. Then, he invited me to spend the first day with him and his friends -- haha, yeah, that does mean you...

And even though for the entirety of my school life, I'd had lunch with the same four people, I said yes. Hey, don't look at me like that; to me it was a pretty big deal! I still didn't expect anything to come out of it. Maybe hang out with Max now and then, but still pretty much keep up the same routine... the same life.

I'm not repeating myself; I'm making a point. It's different! And as much as I like adventure and still wanted it so badly, I didn't expect it to happen. A high school student living a big adventure, exploring places, unveiling mysteries? I thought that only happened in movies or fantasy stories!

I didn't expect _it_ to happen. ... Yes, I'm calling it 'it'. I'm talking about the event, not him!

You guys made me curious, so I ended up hanging out with you a lot more. And then all that stuff happened, and...

... Yeah, yeah, fine, curiosity killed the cat. You're never gonna let go of that joke, huh? Heh...

Uh? Does it bother me that my life got flipped, turned upside down?

Nah. I'm pretty grateful, actually.

... Are you done recording me yet? Phew, I mean, that was pretty dramatic for a end of year 'interview' speech --

...

Takao, the red light means it's still on.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The day Takao introduces Kai to his friends properly, a week has already passed since school started. Rei's conversation with Takao about his resemblance to 'a kitty' (which has been brought up by the other boy at least _once per day_ since they first met, much to Rei's growing aggravation) was cut short as Kai finally made his reappearance in the school. As far as Rei knows, anyway -- maybe Kai actually attended his classes and simply doesn't share them with anyone from their group. It's unlikely, but plausible.

Takao is the first one to see him, and his face breaks into a wide grin in the middle of his seemingly unending tirade on Rei and cats. He waves wildly, half sitting up and his movements make his juice box fall down on the table, Rei and Max both moving away from where it would spill by reflex, even though it's long empty.

"Kaiiiiiiiiiiii," Takao yells out giddily, ignoring the looks the entire cafeteria are sending him (again, though at least this time it hasn't gone completely silent). Kai stops next to their table, in a safe enough distance that Takao can't reach to touch him and force him to sit down, which seems like something Takao would do, Rei is pretty sure. He's not certain if Takao would die if he did try it, though he doubts Kai would resort to that much violence. ... In public.

From what Rei heard, Kai was more likely to do it with no witnesses. (Though Rei isn't the kind to believe or even follow rumors, he is the kind to still be wary of someone with such a reputation behind him.)

"Sit down!" Takao beams happily. "You can have lunch with us!"

Rei looks at Max sitting next to him and they share a look. They can already guess Kai's answer, even though they've only ever 'met' him once. Chief, at least, doesn't look ready to pass out (again). Rei is glad -- he doesn't feel like carrying the other boy to the infirmary again.

"I'm fine standing," Kai answers, a deadpan expression on his face. Takao doesn't look deterred at all, though, and Rei is slightly impressed by his determination.

"Fine, be a jerk," Takao bites back, sticking his tongue out petulantly. ... There's a fine line between being brave and being stupid, so then again maybe Rei shouldn't be impressed at all. "At least let me introduce you to everyone this time, instead of just showing up and running off..."

Kai throws him a look that Rei interprets as aggravation. Or perhaps a wish to be able to murder Takao brutally. Rei's not quite sure -- Kai's face seems guarded, almost.

... Okay, it _is_ guarded. The guy wears face paint, a choker and a permanent frown. (And, from what rumors and Takao has told them, a scarf when he's not in school uniform.) There's really no other interpretation for it. Rei really does wonder how someone so closed off managed to become friends with Takao Kinomiya, of all people. Don't get him wrong, Rei doesn't dislike Takao, but he's not exactly going to win a "Most Understanding, Calm and Level-Headed Person of the Year" award any time soon. Rei's only known him for a week and he knows that he's headstrong, a bit dim and usually doesn't think before he speaks.

Compare that with Kai 'I Probably Eat Babies' Hiwatari, _the_ Bey City legend, leader of a street gang at twelve, cold, uncaring, impassive and violent, and you get Rei's current lack of understanding. It's like the whole world has gone topsy-turvy. He's heard of "opposites attract", but this is taking things a bit far in his opinion.

Some small part of Rei berates himself for judging Kai based on rumors alone, but he brushes it off. He'll feel bad when he's proven wrong. He shakes himself out of his thoughts when he realizes he's been staring blankly at both Kai and Takao and not hearing anything they're saying for a few minutes now. Luckily, both seem too busy talking to each other to notice.

"I did _not_ harass you for a week so you'd come here so I could introduce you to everyone! I _asked you repeatedly_ until you got off your high horse and agreed! It's totally different!"

Or should Rei say, Takao arguing with Kai and Kai looking really bored.

"Either get on with it or I'll leave," Kai answers, and Rei can discern the trace of peevishness in his voice that his body language doesn't show.

Another thing that bugs Rei -- how many sixteen years old boys have such a good old on their physical reactions and tone of voice? Most of them are still having trouble controlling their pitch so they don't sound like squealing five year old girls! Rei blinks as an elbow finds itself in his side and turns to look at Max who's throwing him a concerned-- and slightly curious -- look. While Takao and Kai hadn't noticed Rei's mental spazzings, it seems that wasn't the case for Max. Uh. Oops.

Rei throws Max a quick grin that Takao had deemed cat-like when he first noticed Rei's sharpened fangs. Rei, being a polite and patient person, had resisted the urge to respond with something mean.

Rei was the very definition of Zen. And he wasn't just blowing his own horn when saying this.

...

Okay, maybe a little.

"Guyyys," Takao says, finally breaking from his stare-off/argument/whatever it was Rei stopped noticing because he was too busy being judgmental and then feeling bad about it deep down/etc with Kai to address them. "I want you to meet Kai Hiwatari! Officially. Everyone, Kai, Kai, everyone."

"Hey," Max answers, jovially. "I'm Ev, that one's Ry and this is One. We're everyone!"

Takao sulks while Kai raises an eyebrow, apparently unamused. Rei found it hilarious, personally. "Yeah, mock me," Takao mumbles, "See if I care!"

"If you don't care, why are you whining about it?" Kai asks, though the question is generally rhetorical. The fact that Kai's face manages to stay perfectly blank-- if slightly bored-- and his stance is so casual, (hands in his pockets and slouching slightly, as if pointing out the weather) makes this actually somewhat funny to Rei.

Kai Hiwatari did a funny. Someone call the news.

Wait, they were in the middle of a crowded cafeteria, the news had probably already been contacted.

"Why -- you -- you--" Takao splutters, and Rei decides to take pity on him, though not before a quick laugh.

... Hey, he's a nice teenage boy, not a saint.

"I'm Rei," Rei introduces himself, getting up and bowing slightly, the model of politeness. "Nice to meet you!"

Kai doesn't answer or reciprocate, however, and Rei frowns slightly as he sits back down. That guy is really making it hard for Rei not to listen to the rumors. Max throws him a look of sympathy before turning to grin at Kai, not bothering to get up.

"Hey! 'Sup. My name's Max. Any friend of Taka's a friend of mine!"

Kai looks slightly taken aback at the display of pure optimism and niceness that is Max Mizuhara. If Rei thinks of himself as a nice, polite teenage boy, Max is the saint. If saints have the tendency to tease mercilessly, slather everything in mayonnaise and other such things that are completely unsaint-like. Ah, dear, sweet Max, who is probably not as innocent as he looks. Though Rei still pings him pretty high on the innocent meter.

As always, he will rectify his judgment when he is proven wrong.

"... We're not friends," Kai interjects, looking slightly ... something close to embarrassed that Kai Hiwatari can actually feel, Rei guesses, but Max's smile doesn't even dim slightly.

"Not yet, but we will be!"

Takao coughs in his fist, awkwardly. It sounds like jumbled words, but Rei can't make any of it out. "ANYWAY," he cuts in loudly, "The last one is the Chief, who... Totally passed out in his food again, didn't he."

Kai looks incredibly unimpressed. Rei buries his face in his hands. Not ANOTHER trip to the infirmary...

"Actually, he's hiding," Max points out casually, "Like ostriches, except in salad instead of dirt."

"_I'm not here_!" the Ostrich-Boy whispers loudly. "Please don't kill me!"

The four boys look at him as if he's gone a bit nuts. Rei really isn't getting this one. The boy is practically a genius, why is he hiding in his salad like it will actually do anything more than get him lettuce stuck in his hair? Maybe he believes that Kai is like bears -- he'll go away if you pretend to be dead.

It's a silly theory, but they do say that genius and madness are extremely close together. Or maybe the poor boy has been bullied a bit too much in his life, combined with watching too many teen movies and knowing far too many rumors about Kai.

Kai 'I Devour Small Children And Punt Grandmas' Hiwatari.

Maybe cowering in fear isn't that stupid of a reflex.

Rei is shaken out of his thoughts by Takao's yell at Kai's suddenly retreating back:

"Hey, wait -- Kai -- c'mon, it's fine! Just stay with us for a while, you -- you stupid grouch!"

That last part was probably counter-productive. See? Takao _does not_ think before he speaks.

"Baaaah, who needs him," Takao gripes once Kai has definitively left (causing the poor Chief to finally look out of his salad, murmuring frantically 'is he gone? Are we all still alive?'), sulking as he lowers himself in his seat. "I'll make him eat with us yet, you'll see. He'll come _begging_ to sit in this very table!"

Rei and Max share a look.

Kai 'I Hate People' Hiwatari, coming to sit with them of his own volition?

Somehow, Rei doubts that very much.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

As it turns out, Rei's doubts were right on the mark. One week later, and they are still no closer to spending lunch with Kai than they were two weeks ago when he did his whole 'show up to talk to Takao and leave' for the first time, much to Takao's growing aggravation.

Rei isn't quite certain why Takao is so obsessed with Kai spending lunch with them -- if lunch was the only time he could see the other boy, he'd understand, but as it turns out, this is not the case. Since last week, Kai has -- miraculously -- started attending his classes; it turns out he shares at least one with each of the members of their small rat-tag group. It's actually done wonders for the Chief's Kaiphobia, if nothing else. Possibly because Kai is hard to notice in a classroom setting -- he has the tendency to sit in the far corner next to the window, staring outside and not saying a word. No teacher has called him out on it as far as Rei knows. He's rather sure that it's because _they_ are scared of Kai, too.

It doesn't say much for the state of public schools that this is most likely the case, but whatever. From what Rei knew; Kai and Takao also spent some time after school together at their "usual place". Rei still doesn't know where it is, but unlike Max (who is genuinely curious) and the Chief (who is worried Kai will beat up and kill Takao and then leave him in a ditch), he's not all that interested in learning about it.

Still, Takao is quite determined for them all to eat lunch together. And so, he organizes a hunt to find out where Kai hides out during lunch.

Chief, who actually accepted to come on this faux-hunt (they're really just exploring every part of the school, including the parts the juniors and seniors occupy most of the time) for reasons Rei doesn't know, voices their thoughts on the biggest flaw in this search perfectly:

"Takao, what makes you think Kai stays on school grounds during lunch?"

Takao pauses in his search abruptly -- and walk, causing the Chief to crash into him, and Max into the Chief and Rei into Max, making them all look quite stupid -- and looks at them with a nervous expression.

"You can get off school grounds without permission?" Takao asks in wonder.

The Chief groans aloud at that answer and Rei shakes his head, hopelessly.

"Even if we couldn't, do you think that'd stop Kai?" he questions. "He pretty much does whatever he wants."

Takao at least has the grace to look sheepish. "Weeell... if we can't find him, we'll know if he stays during lunch or not! Besides, if he left during lunch, he wouldn't bother coming back in the afternoon."

"Do you at least have any idea where he could be, Taka?"

There is a pause as Takao seems to think this over and the other three stare at him patiently. Rei maintains that Takao really isn't the brightest crayon in the box.

"Oh! I know!" Takao exclaims suddenly, making the Chief jump in surprise (which causes him to bump back into Max and Max into Rei, making them all look stupid _again_). "The roof!"

Rei doesn't see how the roof is such an obvious answer -- the roof at his middle school was always locked, and the only person with access to it was the janitor, who only opened it at the end of every school year, making it rain tennis balls and other generic sport objects on the students. A lot of students had tried to open it, of course, to no avail.

Maybe it was different back in Takao's (and thus Max and the Chief's) middle school?

... Speaking of different middle schools, which did Kai even go to? As far as Rei knew, he didn't go to his, or Takao's (and thereby Max and the Chief's). Maybe the third one...?

Oh, wait. Takao had mentioned it before -- Kai used to go to Takao's middle school, supposedly. Since Kai had the reputation of never showing up to his classes, it's a plausible explanation.

"Do you think the door is open like at our school?" Max asks, curious. Ding ding ding, Rei had guessed right on things behind different in their school. Takao shrugs, careless.

"I dunno; I didn't get the time to check yet."

"I doubt Kai would go there," the Chief pipes up, looking up something on his laptop he took out of his bag about three seconds ago. "It seems like a prime spot for stoners and wannabe gangsters..."

"Isn't Kai sort of gangster material?" Rei points out, casually.

"Whatever, there's no point standing around here arguing about it!" Takao cuts in, determination in his eyes. Rei prepares himself for the obvious. "Let's just check; if he's there, yay, if he's not, we'll keep on looking. C'mon, stop wasting precious lunchtime minutes and let's go!"

He leaves in such a hurry that the other boys don't have the time to tell him that looking all over for Kai 'Mysterious Mystery of Bey City' Hiwatari is _already_ a waste of precious lunchtime minutes.

And honestly, it is. What are the chances that Kai will be hiding out on the conveniently open roof of all places?

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Apparently, the chances were very high, considering the next thing Rei knows he's standing on an open rooftop with Takao, Max and the Chief. The roof is also suspiciously empty save for them and the presence of one Kai Hiwatari.

Either no one knows about the rooftop being open, or Kai scared them all off. The fact that the _latter_ is actually more plausible than the former kind of puts a damp on Rei's appreciation of the student body as a whole. Scared away by a single freshman.

Granted, a single, _terrifying_ freshman with enough rumors behind him to make you wonder how he hasn't been thrown in jail yet and leader of a gang of the (supposedly) toughest thugs in the entire city, but still. It's kind of depressing. Especially since said terrifying freshman doesn't look all that terrifying, sitting casually against the wall next to the door that leads back inside the school, one knee drawn up and half a sandwich in his hand.

Then Kai looks up at them and the glare he gives them is pretty terrifying, all things considered.

Oh, goodie. They pissed off the highly volatile rebel in the middle of his lunch.

"... So you actually _do _eat during lunch," Takao mentions, sounding awed as he looks at Kai's glowering face. Then, Rei realizes Kai actually still has a bite of food in his mouth, which might explain why he hasn't yelled at them yet. (Rei doubts Kai is the kind of guy to yell; he knows it's far more intimidating when someone speaks in a low, dark tone. This is why Takao is the least intimidating person on Earth. Or possibly second, next to Max. ... Third, if you add the Chief. ... Basically Rei is certain they're all non-terrifying, except for himself because he knows how to intimidate people and Kai because he is, well, Kai.)

Kai turns his head away from them and swallows (and Rei could swear that it actually looked painful for him to swallow, which is odd -- maybe he needed to take a drink?) before growling in answer: "Do you have a life that _doesn't_ revolve around me?"

Rei guesses this is a roundabout way of saying '_leave me the fuck alone, __now_', but Takao doesn't seem to notice and simply crosses his arms with a huff.

"My life doesn't revolve around you! I just decided to make it my job to make you a respectable human being, thank you very much."

Kai's entire body tenses and Rei prepares himself to throw Takao out of the way by force if the other boy so much as moves to attack. He doesn't, however, simply turning to stare at Takao with a sneer, and Max, noticing the rising tension, interrupts before things can aggravate themselves:

"Takao wanted to eat lunch with you, so we decided to follow him!" Max says this brightly, a wide smile on his face as he moves away from the door (and from his spot hiding the Chief, much to the guy's terror) and closer to Kai. "Sorry about that. Anyway, you know Taka-- does a bunch of bad jokes no one finds funny, and has no tact whatsoever... We should just all hang out together. What do you think?"

Takao objects loudly with a "Hey! Maxie!" but no one is listening to him. Rei looks for any sign that Kai will do good on the rumors and show enough violence to scare fans of R-rated horror movies. He and Takao are supposed to be _friends_? It doesn't seem like more than grudging respect to Rei.

... Had either of them ever _really_ said they were friends? Rei can't remember.

Kai sighs after a while, seeming to calm down. He rolls his eyes and shrugs. "Do what you want," he mutters under his breath, and Rei relaxes slightly. Takao grins brightly, seemingly not having noticed anything wrong with Kai's behavior.

Just what _happened_ this summer that makes Takao so trusting? Is he just oblivious? Is Rei just paranoid???

... Nah, it must be Takao who's oblivious.

"See? When you're not being a grouch for the sake of being a grouch, you're almost likeable! C'mon, scooch." Takao says, and doesn't even wait until Kai scoots to sit down next to him, which causes them to sit pretty closely.

For all of half a second as Kai jerks away from Takao as far as possible, as if burned then throws the boy a dark glare. This angle gives Rei the weird impression that Kai's face is slightly tinted green. Then again, his face has had that shade since they came up here, so maybe he's hallucinating. Max looks at Rei curiously before shrugging and sitting down (and halfway _on_) Takao. Rei sighs wearily and sits down next to Max with a grin, and the Chief himself sits next to Rei.

"So, Kai, tell me something, how much like a cat do you think Rei looks like?" Takao asks, randomly, ignoring the groaning of the other three beside him.

Rei hates those stupid cat jokes.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The rest of lunch passes without incident; the four usual friends talking and Kai simply sitting next to them, looking at the sky and not touching his sandwich anymore. When the bell rings, Takao drags Max and the Chief (who he shares his next class with) with a yell, screaming about not having done his homework. Rei chuckles lightly and gets up more slowly, trailing behind them until he realizes he's forgotten his blazer up there. He'd taken it off when it became a bit too hot, sitting directly under the sun, but he was so used to always having it on him (and perfectly buttoned) that he'd forgotten it. He turns around and head back up the stairs leading to the roof but stops before going outside completely, curiosity gaining the better of him. The door is still open just a tad, just enough for Rei to see Kai if he wants to.

He feels kind of bad for spying, but it's not like he'll learn anything interesting, right? He cranes his neck to see better...

And then the door is suddenly flung open and he is facing Kai 'You Were Just Spying On Me' Hiwatari's chest. Rei jumps a little and grins innocently, scratching the back of his neck.

"Aah, I just came back to get my --" Rei starts, sheepishly, and stops when Kai trusts his blazer in his face. ".. That. Well, thanks."

Rei takes the offered jacket and Kai shrugs, looking casually at Rei. "Whatever. A cat's going to be cold if it doesn't have its fur, right?"

He leaves before Rei can respond, moving swiftly in the small staircase. Rei blinks at his back.

Rei has the sudden, vivid impression that Kai Hiwatari isn't your typical rebel teen acting out. It seems silly, as so far it's rather obvious that Kai is, like Takao says, "just some guy with an attitude problem". Still, it's like there's something about Kai that screams that something is wrong.

Rei scoffs at himself.

"I've been reading too many girly magazines," he tells himself depreciatively, and leaves for class.

Kai's just another student.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

One thing Rei hasn't done since he was back from America was talk to his old friends -- it seems mean, but he honestly forgot all about doing it, instead hanging out with Max, Takao and the Chief when he has time. Plus, he has homework and martial arts lessons -- more precisely, the Shaolin Shandong Black Tiger style Kung Fu, a style Rei's teacher wanted to teach him specifically when he was younger that Rei absolutely loved and so has kept on doing for years. So, it's simply lack of time that's made it so he hasn't spoken with his other friends in a while. He doesn't share a class with any of them, too.

That changes in the day's last break as Rei is tackle-glomped (a rare form of glomping that often results in both people falling to the floor because of the momentum; this doesn't happen for Rei since he's used to it) by none other than Mao.

Mao, who is wearing her favourite ribbon and looks, Rei admits, quite cute in her high school uniform (complete with skirt, which comes as a surprise, considering Mao _hates_ wearing skirts and could usually get away with wearing pants in middle school). She grins up at him, her pink hair falling a bit into her eyes and Rei lets out a laugh as he twirls her around before putting her down.

"Mao! Long time no see," Rei starts with a wide grin, and Mao huffs and crosses her arms.

"And whose fault is that, exactly?" She jokes back, poking him in the chest dramatically. "Were you trying to get away from me, Rei?"

Rei laughs and holds his hands up in the air. "Guilty as charged. You're getting too big for me to twirl you around so easily, it's killing me."

Mao gapes at him, acting offended. "Did you just call me fat? Rei Kon, you're _dead_."

He laughs again. He really missed hanging out with Mao in the last few months, he has to admit. "No way, no way, I'm a gentleman! I'd never insinuate something like that."

Mao considers this and smiles smugly. "You'd better not, otherwise~ I'm not above scratching your eyes out, you know!"

"Hey, no, I need those to see!" Rei protests, casually leaning against a locker. "Anyway, banter aside... How've you and the guys been, Mao?"

Mao smiles drops abruptly and she sighs, twirling her ponytail with one finger. "Eh, well... To be honest, Rei, they're kind of mad at you."

Rei blinks bewilderedly. "At me? Why? What did I do?"

Mao looks at him levelly, raising an eyebrow. "Except for not contacting us, your childhood friends, for all summer after you practically took the first flight boarding America without telling us and then ignoring us for the first two weeks of school, you mean?"

Rei scratches the back of his neck, sheepish. "Said like that, it does sound bad... But, Mao, I --"

She shushes him with a movement, flipping her ponytail behind her back. "It's not me who's mad. I know you didn't really mean anything by it... Lai and Kiki, though, they're another story entirely. Lai was already annoyed when you left for America, but they've both become really angry since you ditched us at school, too."

_That_ ticks Rei off a little, and he crosses his arms defensively against his chest. "What, am I not allowed to have other friends--?"

Mao puts her hands on her hips and glares up at him. "Hey, stop trying to take it out on me! Just because Lai and I are related doesn't mean I think he's right, you know. But that's not the point. I just wanted to tell you that he's mad, okay? So... just try to explain yourselves to each other, alright? I'm worried things will go drastic if this isn't resolved soon. Since you're such _boys_ and all."

Rei frowns slightly. "What do you mean, drastic...?"

Mao shrugs stiffly, tucking a stray bang behind her ear. "Nothing much. Call it a hunch. Lai's been acting really weird, and you know how vindictive Kiki can be... And... Things are always pretty dramatic with teenagers, right? Especially teenagers in a high school setting. Right?" She winks conspiratorially at him, but sighs when Rei doesn't seem to share her joke. "Look, just... prove you're not ditching us, before things get too tense between the two of you. You know Lai. Plus, he's a bit jealous you got to go to America and he didn't...Then, there are the rumors about your group and Kai Hiwatari..."

She trails off, and before Rei can answer any of it, the bell rings. She looks around, bewildered.

"Wow, I totally didn't see the time pass! Gotta go, Rei. Take care, alright? Just apologize!"

She dashes away to her class and Rei stares back at her. 'Jealous'? 'Rumors'? Seriously?

Maybe he should apologize to his friends. Then again...

"Lai can stew in his own jealousy for a while," Rei mutters, crossing his arms. "Just because I have other friends and get to go to places doesn't mean he can throw a fit."

After all, what's the worse that can happen?

...

Rei sincerely hopes he hasn't jinxed himself by saying that.

(Of course, he has. He just doesn't know it yet.)

* * *

I have no true excuse for how late this is! ): I'M SORRY. I SUCK.

Anyway, chapter notes! ... This chapter isn't all that funny to me, because Rei isn't... all that funny a narrator. ALAS. It's very full of plot plot plot hints. THIS STORY HAS PLOT. I know, I'm surprised too. The first part is teensy parody of all the IN THE FUTURE, NARRATING THE PAST/DIARY OF INSERTCHARACTERHERE bits in fics. Mostly because Rei felt introspective and I didn't feel like letting him introspect properly. Rei does not listen to my whinings. Rei is going to undergo CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, so it's normal that right now he seems suspicious and kind of mean. He's catty. ha ha ha I LOVE CAT JOKES. SHUT UP. Any...way. Rei failing to spy? Also a mock on all those LEARNING SOMETHING EXTREMELY IMPORTANT BY SPYING. (What did Rei expect, to see Kai speak to himself? He's no Takao! :P) ... Moving on. The martial art mentioned is a real form of Chinese martial art!

From wiki: It is characterised by its extensive footwork (similar to Shaolin Southern Eagle), acrobatic kicks, low, wide stances, and unique fist position (where the thumb is curled in the same manner as the other fingers, rather than wrapped around them). According to the Shaolin Grandmasters' text the style is the single most external style in the Shaolin canon; the longer the stylist practices, however, the more she or he comes to rely solely on internal power.

I felt it matched Rei. The fact that Rei does martial arts is actually important! I AM CONSISTENT GUYZ. \o/ Uuuh what else. Lee's Japanese name is generally translated as Rai -- as it's FAR TOO SIMILAR TO REI'S NAME and Japanese has no real distinction of L and R (giving us wonderful names like scanlated Rinali and Canon Leenalee (Dgray-Man example)), I decided to go with Lai so I did not confuse myself and typo it as Rei. THAT WOULD BE EMBARRASSING. (Then I realized I was just as likely to typo it as Kai and gave up on life.)

Thanks to everyone who read/review/fav/put on alert/etc. I don't answer reviews unless there are questions, but I do read them all. They make me happy. \o/

I swear next chapter will actually be funny.

Hope you enjoyed it!

-Zia


	6. School Project for Dummies

The first week of Takao's summer school is disappointingly boring.

Disappointingly because the first day had been anything _but_ boring, a promise of things to come and _adventure_ and Takao _not leading the most boring life in the universe _anymore! ...Unfortunately, the first day's promises were a lie. Just like the cake. (The cake, in Takao's family, is _always_ a lie, mostly because his grandfather can't bake to save his life but refuses to buy something that he can supposedly cook perfectly fine on his own, resulting in the kitchen being a horrible mess and a giant rock that tries to pass as a cake. Like fruit cake, but even more disgusting, basically. Takao isn't allowed to buy a cake, either, and his own attempts at baking cakes ended up only _slightly_ less inedible than his grandfather's attempts. It's not Takao's fault, anyway -- anyone could mix up the sugar and salt, or less dramatically baking soda and baking powder... _etc_.)

_Regardless_-- the week was boring. Takao hasn't really attempted to talk to Kai all that much -- the few times he did try he was completely ignored, which, while not all that surprising, is still pretty jarring. So the week was spent with Takao working in one corner of the classroom and Kai . . . looking outside the window/sleeping/_whatever_ it is he does in the other corner and Tao being... himself. At least that doesn't involve him stalking Takao all over the school during lunch anymore.

The most eventful thing that happened was Takao finally gathering the guts to shoot a 'hi' at Kai as he was passing by Kai's favorite river-glaring spot (not watching, not staring, but really _glaring_, and Takao wonders what the hell the water ever did to Kai). The event was not Takao saying hi so much as Kai sort-of-almost-maybe casually waving at Takao, as if _saying hi back_.

... When Takao said his week was boring, he meant it was _mind-numbing_. He never wants to see another math or science formula _ever again_.

Luckily for him, Tao has something planned that should definitely make his second week of summer school a little more ... entertaining.

(Takao considers this more like _bad_ luck, but he's not allowed an opinion.)

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

It starts off as a normal morning.

Takao is failing to concentrate on his eight billionth math problem (if a number was increased by a factor of 7, then increased by 8, what is the total if the original number was 4... Wait, does that mean add or multiply???), Kai is staring out the window (Takao demands to know what is so interesting about that bloody window, because all he ever sees out there are some seagulls and kids with no summer school playing far away from the school grounds... And clouds, who are actually pretty awesome to watch, Takao admits.) and Tao is alternating being drunk and being absent. Currently, he is absent. And probably drunk _too_, but if Takao can't see him he can at least believe the guy sobers up now and then.

Takao is full of blinding optimism, okay.

"Good morning, young mole crickets!" Tao exclaims loudly as he suddenly appears in the classroom. He ignores the clatterclatter_bang_ that is Takao jumping out of _sheer fear_, clutching his heart as if having a heart attack and falling out of his chair only to have it fall half on him, causing a loud whimper from the boy.

Kai, for his part, simply turns his head to look at Tao in a slightly deadpan expression that probably means either 'what do you want', 'I am _not_ a mole cricket' or 'it's one thirty in the _afternoon_, not _morning_'. Possibly a healthy mix of all three combined with 'look at that loser on the floor'.

Stupid Kai who isn't scared of magically appearing midget ninja. The door was closed! _Closed_! There should be noise when it opens! Footsteps! _Anything_!!!! Aaaaaaaaaargh!!

"I have a special announcement for you young social beetles. I am giving you a collaborative enterprise, that might involve research or design, and is carefully planned to achieve a particular aim!" Tao continues brightly, completely ignoring his two students.

Takao, currently in the process of untangling his legs, the chair and the desk, looks at Tao in complete incomprehension. A quick glance at Kai shows that the other boy is frowning, but whether that means he understands or not is completely up in the air, considering Kai generally frowns at _everything_. He must be a killer at birthday parties.

Tao, seemingly waiting for either of his students to have a verbal or physical reaction to his wonderful news, stands still, smiling brightly. Takao wishes he wouldn't do that. His smile is _creepy_.

Takao manages to raise himself and his chair back up and sits on it gingerly, his butt and legs still horribly sore thanks to the combination of hard floors and metal chairs falling on him. Once this is done, he decides he might as well ask, because Kai sure isn't going to. And if neither of them do anything, Tao will stay there, smiling creepily until the bell rings.

It would be _terrifying_, and Takao really doesn't need added nightmare fuel.

"Uh, _what_?" Takao asks, making sure to inflect the what to demonstrate he has no _idea_ what the hell is going on in Tao's head and whether or not this is the results of too many drugs or not enough. (Senile old man.)

"I am assigning you a _wonderful project_," Tao expands, ignoring Takao's horrified face as he realizes that he would have been better off with Tao smiling creepily for two hours. "Now, this is a _team_ project, but don't worry, my delightful hummingbirds; I'm willing to let you choose your own partners!"

There is a pause as Takao lets that statement sink in before complaining about it. Kai seems to share Takao's pain for once, at least, considering his completely 'fuck the what?' face.

"... There's only two of us," he deadpans, but Tao shushes him halfway through his sentence.

"Now, now, Kinomaya Takao--" Takao interrupts here with a 'it's KINOMIYA' that Tao completely ignores, even though the man knows this and clearly only says otherwise to infuriate Takao-- "What have I said about talking without raising your hand first? If everyone speaks at once without asking permission, I won't be able to understand any of you!"

Takao takes a deep breath to stop himself from responding something like 'yeah like Kai _ever_ talks' or repeating 'THERE IS ONLY TWO OF US' in a very, very loud voice. Instead, he raises his hand calmly, like a sane person. Which he is, especially compared to Tao.

"Yes, Takao~?" Tao prompts happily once his hand has been up in the air for half a minute.

"There's _only two of us_," Takao repeats, stressing the last part of the sentence. "That's not a heck of a lot of choice for partners."

Tao looks bemused at this. "Well, at least you won't be torn between two friends! It looks like you and Kai will have to work together on this. Ohohohoho..."

"You're kidding," Kai protests, proving that he has a voice for the first time in, like, a _week_.

"I wish he was," Takao bemoans.

Tao ignores both of them completely. He looks like he is enjoying this, even, and considering how much of a crazy sadist drunk midget he is, Takao is rather certain he's actually having the _time of his life_. Ugh.

"Not to worry, my little coconuts of learning!" (At this point, both Takao _and_ Kai make an identically disgusted face, though in Takao's case it is slightly more horrified and in Kai's slightly more murderous.) "Your project is not a hard one! In fact, it is something every child your age should know how to do!" (Takao half-heartedly protests at being called a 'child' mentally, and from Kai's expression he is protesting it inside so badly it's a wonder Tao hasn't melted from the sheer force of Kai's glare. Terrifying.) "You will... Build a volcano!"

Takao's completely dumbfounded expression says it all, really. There's a long silence in the classroom. A cricket chirps.

Takao jumps backwards and out of his chair, because the cricket was _right on his desk_. W-what's with all the stupid crickets in this school, anyway?! And how did he get on Takao's desk without him noticing? ... And damn, it was on his stuff. If he squashed it now, it would put bug innards all over his math book. Hmm. Conflict.

Kai throws him a look. "Scared of a little bug?" He drawls, sitting at his _perfectly cricket free desk_, the stupid lucky bastard. Takao makes a face at him, sticking out his tongue.

"I just don't like your family members," Takao answers cheekily, wondering belatedly if he was going to die for his comment. ... There is a strong possibility. Hm.

Fuck.

Kai only snorts, however, and just as he retorts Tao yells out loudly, suddenly next to Takao's desk and holding the cricket:

"Oooh, Jiminy! Now, now, back in the pouch with you, it's not snack time yet."

Takao is torn between trying to figure out what Kai said (he only heard something _vaguely_ similar to 'makes both of us', but that doesn't make sense -- Kai, _agreeing with him_? No way!) and wondering just _whose_ snack time includes letting the cricket out.

Ew.

Though that does explain the sudden over-abundance of crickets in this school...

"A-anyway," Takao tries to start, standing clear of his desk still because he really, _really_ hates crickets. "About this... volcano project..."

"Hmmm yes? Is there a question~?" Tao interrupts, beaming up at him.

Takao arranges the cap on his head slightly out of a nervous habit, because Tao beaming looks kind of like a serial killer smiling at his future victims. Ergh. "We don't need to be _two_ to make a volcano. I mean, pretty much any idiot can do it on their own..."

"Guess you're not just any idiot, since you need my help," Kai mutters from his corner of the classroom, and Takao glares at him, cheeks puffed out.

"I totally heard that!"

Tao shushes him. "Calm down, my overly excited chipmunks," ("I am NOT a chipmunk!" Takao huffs, and Kai deadpans a: "Could've fooled me...") "Now, it seems I over-underestimated your abilities and need to think up a new project for you both that is not so easy. Though I did want a volcano very badly... Sadly, you can't have it all in life!"

Takao realizes that he should've shut up and stuck with the stupid volcano idea, instead of playing the part of the nerd pointing out flaws and getting beat up by the rest of the classmates for it. Also, that over-underestimated sounds really, really stupid.

Kai, at least, doesn't look like he'll beat up Takao after school. Or murder him. Maybe Takao's lucky and the guy hates volcanoes. ... Also, pigs will fly and Takao will go crossdressing with Tao on weekends. Sigh.

It's more likely due to Kai being Kai and having no caring capacities whatsoever. Robot.

"You will do a research on a psychological disorder!" Tao announces brightly, for once not causing Takao a giant heart attack. "I leave which one up to your choosing, of course~ All the details are on this convenient paper sheet Principle Daitenji gave me this morning, my little bugsies! Now, go forth. Class is dismissed early so you can start working early on it. No need to thank me, I know you are eternally grateful! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

With that, Tao leaves the classroom with a bounce in his step, Kai and Takao staring after him.

"... Wait, he had the assignment sheet this whole time--?" Takao questions uselessly, and Kai gives what sounds like a long-suffering sigh.

This will be the start of such a wonderful partnership.

(Or not.)

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kai doesn't wait for Takao to leave the classroom, forcing the other boy to just throw his stuff in his bag (including the assignment sheet, who was totally ignored by Kai as he stalked past it) in the quickest possible way before running off after him.

"Hey -- hey, wait up!" Takao calls out, running until he catches up to Kai (who, while he didn't stop, at least didn't walk _faster_). "So, um -- where and how do we do this research thing? Your place or..."

Kai stops abruptly, right before the school doors, and Takao tries to do it too but instead rams right into them. Ow. Owwwww. That... that was so not comfortable.

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

"Ow," Takao mumbles aloud, small red birds flying around his head and laughing at him. Wait. "... Th'doors made me turn into a cartoon character..."

Kai throws him a look. "What?"

Takao shakes his head -- which, while painful, at least made his sudden hallucinations go away. "N-nothing. Uuurgh. Warn a guy when you do that, will you?"

"Whatever," Kai mutters, "You're not going anywhere near my house, and vice-versa. We're going to do the research some place else."

Takao blinks at him blankly. "... School?"

"Yeah, that's why I'm standing right next to the doors leading _outside of it_," Kai deadpans, motioning to the evil, evil hurting doors with a thumb. Takao grumbles. It's not his fault the doors mad him stupid! Besides, there's no other place to do school work, is there?

"Shut up I have brain damage," Takao whines pitifully.

"I can believe that," Kai answers blankly, opening one door and going outside, expecting Takao to follow like his _dog_ or something. Well, if he thinks Takao is that kind of guy, he is _sorely mistaken_!

...

He waits three seconds and follows outside, opening the _other_ door to do it. So there. He made a stand.

Look, it's not like he could've done _anything else_. He certainly wasn't going to stay in the school, and he kind of needed Kai to do his stupid team project. In a team. A team means two or more people, and since Takao does not have a split personality, Kai is included in the team whether or not he wants to.

He has to run to catch up to Kai again, because apparently three seconds are far longer for Kai than they are for anyone else in this universe.

"Look, just tell me where we're going to do it, _if_ we're going to do it at all since _you_ never do any work, you lazy bas--" Takao's rant is interrupted when Kai stops abruptly, AGAIN, and he bumps into the guy's back.

Ow.

"Don't _touch_ me," Kai grounds out after taking a step forward so Takao is in a reasonable distance from him again.

"Then stop _stopping _without saying anything! Either walk or don't!" Takao yells back, gesturing wildly. "Just make a choice already!!"

Kai doesn't get a chance to answer Takao, however. Another boy, coming from seemingly out of _nowhere_ (but more likely from, you know, the side of the sidewalk Takao wasn't looking at), suddenly grabs Takao's collar and lifts him up, high in the air.

What _is_ it with people and trying to choke Takao using his shirt??

"He givin' you trouble, Kai?" The guy asks, and Takao takes a moment to appreciate the fact that three other people are behind the guy and that they all look stupider than the other. The guy who is holding him is wearing a bandana and a torn up vest, for crying out loud.

Kai frowns, crossing his arms at the guy. "Hiruta, let go. If he _was_, I could take care of it on my _own_."

Takao is dropped back on the floor, and he lands on his feet only because he expected the guy (Hiruta? looks more like a 'Carlos' to him) wouldn't have let go _gently_. The guy rubs the back of his neck, sheepish.

"S'what we told him, boss," another boy pipes up, this one with purple hair and a very unfortunate haircut. Seriously. Uglyyyy. "But what's the point in having us if we can't serve as back-up now and then?"

Kai rolls his eyes. "I don't _need_ back-up. And I told you, I'm through. Now quit stalking me and _get a life_."

Takao has no idea what's going on. He stays silent and on the side, not wanting to get in the middle of an argument between Kai and four other guys who could probably overpower him if they worked together. Probably. ...

Then again, Kai IS a robot.

"But Kai--" Hiruta starts, pitifully, looking far less though suddenly. "You can't just abandon us like this! We thought you'd quit middle school, and, and..."

"What kind of loser quits middle school?" Kai interjects. "I'm _done_. Game's over, the end. Do me a favor and never try to talk to me again."

That said and done, he turns around, grabs Takao by the back of his jacket and drags him away from the scene, where the four guys just stare, horrified, at Kai. Takao blinks owlishly.

"... Uh, what was that about? ... And why are you dragging me?"

Kai stops dragging him abruptly, causing Takao to fall down. He doesn't even stop or apologize, simply goes on.

"It's nothing, now _move_. We have a research to do."

Takao watches the guys (thugs?) walk away, dejected, before rising and dusting himself off. "Aye aye, captain," Takao mutters.

He has to run to catch up with Kai, but that's nothing new.

"Where are we going, anyway?" Takao asks.

"The library." Kai answers, curt.

"... This city has a _library_?"

Kai doesn't even bother answering that one.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

It turns out, Bey City _does_ have a library. A rather huge and obvious one. About three blocks away from Takao's middle school, even.

Needless to say, Takao felt pretty dumb when he saw it.

At least now he knows what that big building was.

... Hehe... Eh...

Man, he sucks.

Takao deposits his things on one of the chairs at the furthest table from the entrance where Kai has also put his own things. Takao would say something about 'typical', but really, he'd have picked that table too. So he stays silent and notes how _completely empty _the library is on a beautiful Monday afternoon in the middle of summer.

Stupid libraries Takao didn't even know existed.

"So, uh, did you have any idea what our subject is going to be...?" Takao asks, and Kai simply grunts in answer. Undeterred, he plows on. "Well, it has to be a psychological disorder, so how about eating disorders? Y'know, anorexia and whatever... There's prolly a lot of material--"

"_No_," Kai snaps, glaring at him.

Takao blinks. "... Uh. Why not?"

"Does it matter? Find something else."

Wow, talk about Grouch with a capital G. "Okay, whatever... touchy... Geez. It's just a subject. I dunno, schizophrenia? You know, the one where you have multiple personalities?"

Kai stares at him for a while before shaking his head with a sigh, rising. "Forget it. I'll pick one myself. ... And that's dissociative identity disorder, not schizophrenia."

He moves to a section of a library -- Takao doesn't know if there's a 'psychology' section, but he really hopes so. He goes after Kai anyway.

"For a guy who doesn't want to do any work, you sure want to work on this project," Takao mentions casually as they move between the bookshelves, in a direction Kai seems pretty confident of. "... And for a middle school failure, you actually know your stuff."

"Mind your own business," Kai mutters in answer, looking half-mindedly at the shelves upon shelves of books as they pass by them. "Just be glad I'm willing to work with you and shut up."

Takao huffs, rolling his eyes. "Aye aye, sir."

Whatever psychological disorders they end up researching, Takao's _sure_ Kai has the lot of them. (Is there such a thing as 'antisocial personality disorder'? Because Kai has _got _to be the poster child for it.)

This research is going to be a pain in the butt.

* * *

HEY IT'S ONLY BEEN A WEEK LET'S CALL IN MIRACLE 101!!! :3

Uh, I mean. Hello! Here's chapter 6, to make up for last week's unfunny chapter. This one is supposedly funny. Hurray! Kai gets to have a personality in this one. Are you excited? I'm excited! Tao won't make another appearance for a while (thank God), and there is a lot of stuff that is going to go on in chapter 7 and 8. Yes! Stuff! ACTUALLY HAPPENING! I swear this fic contains a whole lot of nothin'. Err. Hiruta = Carlos in the Japanese version, as Takao was quick to point out. He really DOES look like a Carlos to me... Anyway. Yes, that's all the Bladesharks appearances this fic is going to have. Because I am NOT THAT FOND OF THEM in general. And because Kai quit them previous to the start of this fic, so they can all suck my non-existent -- uh, yes. Regardless! Some more foreshadowing, some more faux-hints, Stufffffff. Etc. Nothing much happens this chapter really.

Also, I have no obsession with crickets whatsoever. Thanks to all who review/fav/ETC. I only answer reviews with questions, however, since generally going THANK YOU repeatedly makes me feel kind of silly. I do read the lot of them and love them very much.

Hope you enjoyed it,

-Zia

(With promises that future chapters will have a little more meat to them.)


	7. Much Violence About Nothing

September gives way to October in the blink of an eye, and Rei all but forgets about Mao's concerns to concentrate on his new routine.

That sounds worse than it is, really -- two weeks into school, things just seem to fall into place. During the week, Rei wakes up early to practice his kung-fu before heading to school. On the way, he meets up with Max in front of his father's hobby shop (as it's on his way to school); Max is usually putting on his roller blades when Rei arrives, and he laughs off Rei's mock accusations of making him wait on purpose. Max finishes setting himself up and yells out to his father that he's leaving, grabbing his bag and setting off at a casual pace so that Rei can follow. Sometimes Max takes his bike; it depends on his mood that day. Rei doesn't know why he bothers, considering he has to slow down to wait for Rei anyway, but then again they don't walk home together, so who knows?

When they're almost at school they meet up with the Chief and Max grabs the other boy's bag from his death grip and speeding off, making the Chief scream out at him to slow down and running after Max, Rei following them both in a more casual pace and laughing at Max's energy in the morning. They get to school about ten minutes before the bell and hang around their lockers for a little while, grabbing their things for their class and letting Max take off his rollerblading equipment. They head off to class when the bell rings, with still no sign of Takao or Kai.

Takao shows up seconds before the late bell no matter what day it is, sliding into his morning classroom and screaming 'safe'. If Kai has a class with them in the morning, he's usually already in class before any of them, sitting in his spot in the far back next to the window and gazing outside. The seats around him are never taken, even though there shouldn't be empty spots in the classroom.

On the rare occasion the five of them share a class together, they sit around Kai, Takao in the seat in front of him, Max next to Takao, the Chief next to Max and Rei next to Kai. Takao is only ever on time for this one class, and the brief few minutes before and after class he spends sitting backwards on his chair and trying to make conversation with Kai. Rei, Max and the Chief end up responding to him instead most of the time.

At lunch, they all head to the roof to eat their _bento_. They sit in different spots, having the entire roof to themselves, and Takao picks from each of their meals with excuses that he's a 'growing boy' and ignores their protest. Kai, who was on the roof before all of them came to have lunch, doesn't eat anything. He spends most of lunch staring at the sky, sitting on top of the compartment that leads to the staircase. He doesn't add to the conversation the boys are having often, and most of the time when he does it's to give sarcastic and/or biting comments. The victim of these is mostly Takao. Because of this, he ends up as the butt of _a lot _of jokes. Rei feels it's fair revenge for all the cat jokes.

They bring their homework and notes up during lunch to work on it together. Max has trouble with history while Rei isn't all that fond of English and both of them sometimes need help on their Japanese. The Chief is usually their help for everything, whereas Takao is a notably bad student on, well, pretty much everything. Kai doesn't bring his homework or his notes; as far as Rei knows, Kai doesn't write any notes at all in class. When a question has baffled the Chief once or twice, however, Kai has surprised them by answering the question in a dry tone, not bothering to explain how he knows this.

When asked about Kai's prowess in school, Takao simply shrugged it off. "Eh, just trust him on it," he'd advised them.

True to form, Kai has yet to get an answer wrong.

Rei understands now how Takao could say that he and Kai simply got used to each other -- after two weeks, Kai is far less jarring, and the five of them have gotten used to each other's presence. There's a companionship, even if it seems rather forced at times. Rei suspects Kai is more a natural loner than a real punk/gangster, like the rumors said. He feels slightly bad for having believed them so readily.

Still. When the day ends, Rei walks back home alone -- the Chief is part of the Computer club and Max is a member of the soccer team. Mao herself is a member of at least three clubs, including the Badminton club (badminton is more popular in China than it is in Japan, but Mao never quite lost her love for it, and there's enough of a following for a leisure club if nothing else), so he doesn't see her often. Takao, for his part, not only lives on the other side of town from Rei, but also leaves school in a rush to go to his after-school meetings with Kai. Rei wonders what they do there, but doesn't bother asking. Even Max's teasing isn't enough to break Takao's insistence that they're just hanging out.

Rei spends his weekends with Mao, going out on what she jokingly says are 'dates'. Rei laughs it off, though, to be honest, he wouldn't mind dating her. Mao is a nice, pretty girl and a good friend first, though, and asking her is the last thing on his mind right now. Life just goes on.

Life goes on so fast that Rei forgets all about Mao's worries and talking to his old friends.

He feels bad about it, but, well, they haven't tried to seek him out, either. So the blame doesn't lie solely on him.

Besides, he's busy, you know?

So, except for that, Rei starts off October with a good feeling.

If only that feeling had stayed.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Takao, Max and Rei share their last class on Thursdays. They end the day with PE, something all three of them agree isn't what they'd call the best class ever. Usually, at this time of the year, all PE classes are spent outside, running on the track field. As it was raining today, their teacher had instead announced that they would run laps in the gym for the duration of class, something Takao decides to whine about for... well, the duration of class.

The bell rings and Takao proceeds to flop down on the floor, doing his own impression of either a beached whale or a dead jellyfish. Possibly both. The rest of their classmates head to the showers quickly, but Rei and Max stay behind to try and manage to make Takao get up and out of class already. Their coach left already, busy as he is with maintaining most of the school's official sports teams. Rei assured him that they'd close the gym behind them when they got Takao up.

"Taka~" Max tries, nudging him slightly with his foot. "Class is over, you gotta move."

"I am dead," Takao announces dramatically, "Tell my ancestors I'm sorry for leading the most boring life ever, but at least this time I wasn't killed by a ghost."

Max shakes his head with a laugh and Rei raises an eyebrow.

"But the dead don't talk," he points out casually, and Takao raises his head with a huff, insulted.

"This is my _dying confession_, geesh. Don't mess it up now! So, uh, what else... Awww, man, now I don't know what I was going to say."

"Well, you can't possibly die _now_," Max says with a grin, "Everyone knows you can't die without giving a dramatic death speech. So up you go!"

Takao turns around so he is lying on his back and whimpers. "Noooooo, I don't wannaaaaaa," he moans, crossing his arms over his face. "I want to lie here foreeeever... Or at least until my entire body stops feeling like it's made of painful ... painfulness."

"You're really eloquent," Rei assures the other boy with a grin. Max scrunches up his nose.

"C'mon, Taka, you stink. The shower'll make you feel better, too. And the day's over! We can go home! Why would you want to stay in a smelly gym?"

"It makes me feel at home," Takao deadpans in a mumble from somewhere underneath his arms. "I am a smelly gym sock."

"You sure smell like one," Rei admits with a laugh. "Well, if you're going to be a smelly gym sock, me and Max are gonna get going. Nothing we can do with an old, lonely, smelly and ugly gym sock."

Takao sits up and points at Rei, outraged. "Hey! I never said I was _ugly_ or _old_!"

"Oh, look, he's not dead anymore," Rei grins.

"Taka, gym socks aren't really known for being pretty or brand new..." Max reasons. Takao crosses his arms with a pout.

"You guys suck. Fiiiiine, fine, let's go shower already," Takao sighs. "Help me up," he tells Max, but just before Max grabs his hand to raise him up, Takao's eyes widen and he pulls Max down quickly. Rei steps back and turns to look at what Takao has seen just in time to dodge the projectile thrown at him -- he snaps his head back to see what it is and is surprised to see one of the school's weight disks (twenty pounds, it reads) hit the wall, _hard_, denting it.

What the _hell_?

"What the fuck, dude?!" Takao yells out angrily, scrambling to pull himself and Max up, suddenly not tired at all. Rei turns back to see who he's addressing and sees what he thinks is a first year student. He's seen him in his middle school before, Rei's sure of it. He seems like a typical student, if Chinese, but there's no doubt he's the one who almost crushed both Rei and Max's head with that weight.

"So you are as good as they say," the guy says, calmly addressing Rei. Rei stares at him, shocked.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" Takao seethes, and the guy barely glances at him. "Are you _nuts_?! You could've seriously hurt us with that! You don't just throw that stuff around!"

The guy bows slightly. "I apologize. I didn't mean to hit you or your friend. My target was only Kon Rei."

"Target?" Max asks. "Uh, sorry to disappoint you, but unless Rei is suddenly affiliated with the yakuza, you're attacking a random high school student for no reason. And you could've given him a concussion, or worse, if you'd actually managed to hit him!"

The guy straightens up, face serious. "I was assured his abilities would make it so he could easily dodge such an obvious target."

"Yeah, _if_ he saw it coming! You attacked from the back!" Takao accuses, quite sensibly. He's taken a step forward, ready to start a fight and protect his friends.

Rei is completely lost right now.

"_You_ were looking," the guy objects. "This isn't why I came, however. Kon, I demand a match."

"... If you don't mind my asking," Rei asks, calmly, trying to appease the obviously crazy person in this room, "Why do you want to fight me?"

The guy bows again, and Rei, Max and Takao share a worried look. The only time Rei has seen someone act this way was in Takao's _shounen_ manga. There's no way this guy can be for real, but if he isn't, then this is the worst joke Rei has ever had the displeasure of being the butt of.

"I apologize, I have been extremely wrong. My name is Bruce Li, but you can call me Bruce, and I was told that, in order to join the Bai Hu Zu clique, I needed to prove my worth and defeat you in a fair fight, as we are both kung fu specialists."

There is a long pause following this declaration as ... _Bruce Li _rises himself up and stares at them with the straightest of expressions.

This is probably the worst joke Rei has ever heard in his entire life. Takao and Max seem to share the sentiment as all three of them stare at Bruce Li with a gormless expression, unsure of how to take this.

"... Your name is Bruce Li," Takao starts, clearly preparing a speech on how stupidly _retarded_ that is, and Rei can't even summon the energy to cut him off, considering the circumstances. "You're a kung fu specialist, and you want to fight Rei to get _accepted into a high school clique_?"

"Yes," Bruce answers, still with a completely straight face.

"Okaaaaay then, we're going to go ahead and call the asylum, since it's clear we've got one loony on the loose that _really_ needs to take his pills right around now," Takao deadpans slowly, staring at Bruce as if he has more than one screw loose. Which is probably the case.

"Do not mock me," Bruce says, eyes narrowed, taking on an offensive pose. Takao, unbothered, crosses his arms behind his neck and raises his head up to stare at the ceiling.

"Don't worry! They have nice pajamas for you back there, and you can happily draw with your widdle crayons all about those nice Bai Hu Zu and your magical adventures in the land of your typical _Shounen Jump _story. You'll have a _blast_."

Bruce doesn't waste anytime after Takao's spiel to move towards the boy, quickly, and Rei moves at the same time, blocking Bruce's roundhouse kick with his arm as Takao jumps backwards, eyes wide. Max is looking distinctly uncomfortable as both Bruce and Rei straighten themselves up, both taking defensive positions.

"Takao, I get the feeling the guy is serious," Max points out nervously and Takao throws him a look.

"This might come as a shock, but I _kind of noticed_!"

Rei's eyes are narrowed, taking in all of Bruce's movements. The guy's reasoning was nuts, but he was a definite threat. "What makes you think winning against me in a fight will make you a Bai Hu Zu? If you hadn't noticed, Takao has a point; it's just a school clique. There's no initiation to enter the group. You just... are."

"They wear pink on Fridays," Takao mutters under his breath and Rei shoots him a look as Max laughs somewhat nervously.

Max raises his hands up in the air and approaches them both slowly with a friendly smile, trying to play peacemaker. "C'mon, guys, really, there's no need to fight. We can settle this in a friendly chess match or something! Let's just run along and, uh, not fight to the death... Violence never solved anything!"

Bruce doesn't even blink. "No! I will fight Kon Rei, it is my destiny to do so!"

Takao slaps his forehead with his hand, effectively facepalming. "Y'gotta be kidding me," he mutters somewhere underneath his hand.

Rei is tempted to do the same, and Max's friendly smile drops a little as he stares at the crazy person with a completely befuddled expression.

"It might be _your_ destiny to fight Rei, but it's not Rei's destiny to fight anyone!" Takao explodes, then points at his chest with a thumb. "If you wanna fight Rei, y'gotta go through me first!"

Rei and Max share a completely horrified look as they stare at Takao. "Are you _mad_--" Rei starts to object, but Bruce interrupts, head tilted slightly to the side.

"I don't understand. Are you also a kung fu specialist?"

Takao shakes his head, rubbing underneath his nose in a self-confidence move worthy of the worst kung-fu movies Rei has seen before he gestures to the pile of _shinai_ hidden in the far end of the gym for the kendo club. "No, but I am a kendo expert!"

Rei stares at Takao blankly. "... And he says Bruce is from a bad shounen manga," he mutters darkly.

Max gestures for Rei to approach and Rei does, throwing a doubtful look at Takao at the same time. "It's true Takao's pretty good at kendo," Max explains in a whisper, "But I don't know what he's planning. This guy doesn't look dangerous, but... Rei, why do you think he's after you? Who could've told him to try and beat you?"

"I don't know," Rei whispers back, urgently, Bruce staring at Takao and seemingly considering his options. "The strongest kung fu master I've known was also eccentric, so I'm worried Takao's underestimating this guy. If he gets seriously injured on my account--"

"If you can't beat me," Takao continues, loudly, "You definitely can't beat Rei. So, what do you say?"

Bruce, being that he is batshit crazy and practically named after _Bruce Lee_, seems to consider this at length before nodding. "All right! Kinomiya Takao, I accept your challenge!"

There is a pause, and then...

"Dude, how'd you know _my _name?"

Rei would like to note that Takao's priorities are completely, totally, 100% _screwed_.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Rei grabs at Takao while Bruce readies himself, waiting patiently for his opponent to get his weapon.

"Are you _out of your mind_?" Rei hisses under his breath. "First off, I can fight my own battles, and _second _off, this guy isn't kidding around, Takao! I'm not standing by watching him make mince meat out of you just because you want to play hero!"

Max is standing close enough to them to listen in on their conversation with it still looking inconspicuous enough to fool Bruce. ... Considering Bruce's reasons to want to fight Rei, this is probably way easier than it should be. Still, there's no harm in being cautious. Takao motions to Bruce quickly before whispering back:

"I'm trying to stall! Someone's bound to come sooner or later, right? A janitor or something... I don't trust that guy not to try and pull a dirty trick if you're the one he's fighting, considering you _are_ the one he really wants to beat, man. Trust me on this, okay?"

Takao gives Rei a quick grin, as if trying to appease him. Takao's logic isn't that far-fetched, but it's not reassuring Rei at _all_. Rei scowls.

"What if someone _doesn't_ come by?" Rei starts, but Max shakes his head and Rei stops to see what the blond is going to say.

"Let's just give Takao a chance, alright? There's a lot of team practices after school, and since it's raining they're going to come in here soon enough."

"_I can stall too_," Rei tries to object, but Max shoots him a worried look.

"Rei, he _really_ wants to beat you."

"What makes you think he won't just crush Takao in order to get to me? If he's that taken by it --"

Rei is interrupted in his rant by the sudden realization that Takao has slunk off sometime in their conversation and is now calmly brandishing his shinai while standing in front of Bruce, who looks as equally prepared.

"You ready?" Takao asks, goading.

"Yes. Prepare to meet your doom, Kinomiya Takao," Bruce answers, all seriousness and practically no inflection. Takao makes a face but doesn't comment.

"... Guess you don't have a choice in the matter, Rei!" Max announces brightly.

Rei groans loudly. Shouting out 'wait, I object!' at this point would probably just end up with Takao shouting back 'overruled' and completely ignoring him.

_Takao,_ Rei thinks worriedly, _I hope you know what you're doing_...

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Takao, it turns out, actually _did_ know what he was doing. Will wonders never cease?

The fight starts off with Bruce running in with an offensive move that is blocked (with minor difficulty) by Takao's shinai. The fight follows suit. Bruce attacks with a melee of kicks and punches that Takao dodges when he can see them coming or simply blocks with the shinai. Rei is completely bewildered by the defensive style of Takao's kendo, but he doesn't take the time to ask Max why that is; if it looks like Takao is going to be in trouble, Rei has promised himself to step in quickly.

Takao ducks a punch thrown for his head but fails to notice the kick that follows suit -- it lands with a harsh sound right in his ribs, and Takao gasps for air as he's thrown back a few feet, sliding on the floor because of his socks (he'd taken off his shoes before the fight). Bruce uses Takao's momentary setback to try and land another hit on him, rushing in with a swift kick aimed at Takao's head. Takao barely has the time to raise his shinai with both hands horizontally and block the attack, gritting his teeth when he hears the wood crack. It wasn't meant for this type of bold fighting. Bruce steps back once his attack is blocked, looking for an opening and --

_Yes_, Rei thinks excitedly, _he's let his guard down_!

Takao's strictly defensive style so far has left Bruce over confident; since Takao hasn't moved for the attack once yet, he doesn't expect him to at all. But the question is, can Takao use this opening?

It doesn't seem so, as Takao takes an obvious step for the attack, shinai raised high above him and Bruce, noticing his error, ducks quickly, readying himself to hit Takao's stomach with his open palm -- Rei steps forward, ready to intervene, when suddenly Takao drops to the ground and kicks at Bruce's legs, making the boy fall down.

Max exhales in relief next to Rei, and Takao scrambles up fast enough to point his shinai at Bruce Li's throat, the boy horrified at his quick loss.

"I win," Takao announces proudly, a smirk on his face. Bruce's head hangs low when suddenly a voice sounds out from what seems to be the ceiling:

"That was _lame_!"

All heads turn to look at the ceiling at once, and Rei knows exactly where to look. He'd recognize that voice anywhere, and sure enough, on one of the ceiling fixtures of the gym is none other than Kiki. The small, green haired boy is sitting on the fixture, legs dangling, a bored expression on his face.

"Kiki?" Rei yells out, bewildered. "What are you doing _here_?"

Takao seems still stuck on the fact that someone is hanging from the light fixtures himself, pointing and gaping like... well, an idiot.

"I'm not hallucinating this one, right? There really _is_ an elf on the ceiling? ... What the hell, dude?!"

... Rei _personally _wouldn't call Kiki an elf, but the description still fits, if nothing else. Kiki ignores both of them, standing up on his fixture -- Rei worries for a second that the light will fall, but it doesn't even budge as Kiki gestures wildly at Bruce.

"You really thought you could take down Rei with moves like that?!" Kiki asks, a deadpan expression on his face. "_Seriously_? You're barely a beginner, never mind Rei's level! _Fail_!"

Rei resists the urge to preen at the compliment. _Resists_. Bruce, however, doesn't resist his urge, which seems to be to scramble so he's on his knees, head almost touching the floor as he--

"I'm sorry I've failed you! Please don't kick me out of the Bai Hu Zu, I'll do anything! I swear, I'll get better!"

... Begs for... forgiveness?

Wait, what the hell?!

"Kiki, you put him up to this?!" Rei yells out, enraged. What kind of sick joke was that?! Kiki merely shrugs it off however, jumping down from his light fixture and performing numerous somersaults so that he lands safely in the pile of mattresses in the corner of the room. Takao gapes and Max stares, bewildered.

Rei is used to this, however, and simply crosses his arms, glowering as he stares at Kiki.

"Wow, you're tense," Kiki notes, sitting with his legs crossed. "C'mon, it's not like he would've been any match for you, right?"

"That doesn't excuse making a random student attack my friends and I! We could've gotten seriously hurt if that weight disk had hit us the first time, and--"

"Yeah, yeah, this is my caring face," Kiki waves him off, a completely blank expression on his face. It quickly turns to an innocent look at Rei's infuriated face, however, and he grins. "Awww, c'mon Rei. I just wanted to see if you'd lost any of your sharp reflexes in the, oh, what was it again?" At this point Kiki puts a hand on his chin, mock thinking. "Oh, yeah, in the three months since you _ditched us_!"

Rei deflates slightly at that. "I didn't _ditch_ you," he starts, sheepishly, but Kiki cuts him off.

"Suuuure you didn't. And the guys next to you are totally _not_ your new best friends, right? Give me a break, how dumb do you think I am?"

"Considering you hired that idiot as part of some half-assed revenge plan on Rei, I'd say _very_," Takao cuts in, a fist on his hip and his other hand holding the shinai tightly, knuckles white.

"Says the idiot who went to summer school," Kiki bites back, rising himself up so he's looking down on them from his spot on the mattresses.

Takao flushes angrily, taking a step forward, fist raised. "Why you --"

Max grabs the back of Takao's gym shirt, tugging him back. "Hey, hey, there's no need to fight," he chastises him, before addressing Kiki: "Look, whatever business Rei has with you doesn't give you the right to make people attack him, especially for promises like letting him join a _high school clique_. But if you let us be on our way we'll forget about this whole ordeal and you and Rei can talk this over like grown-ups..."

Kiki sneers. "Aww, isn't that cute, Rei found people just as prone to _running away_ as he is!"

Rei's eyes narrow and he bares his teeth, pupils growing narrowed in his anger. Like a cat's, which Takao had been quick to point out when he'd first seen Rei peeved. (An incident completely unrelated having to do with _juice_ and other condiments not meant to be put on human beings finding their way to his hair and, well, let's just say Takao and Max are less likely to throw food at each other now.) Kiki looks scared at first but stands his ground.

"Look, Kiki, I don't care what your petty grudges are--" Rei grounds out, but Kiki interrupts him, outraged.

"Petty grudges?! We were _best friends_ for _years_, Rei, then suddenly you up and leave for America and forget all of us, not only for the summer, but during the school year _as well_? This isn't a petty grudge! You _betrayed_ us, Rei! Totally shattered our trust! Lai can't get over it, and Mao was devastated -- well, until you started talking to _her_ again, but of course you'd talk to Mao; you're not going to give up your little hidden romance now that Lai has no way of knowing, huh?!"

There's a pause as Rei assesses this outburst and Kiki tries to catch his breath.

"Wow, talk about over-dramatic," Takao mumbles under his breath, and Max nods emphatically, mouthing back what seems to be 'nutsy drama queen elf'.

Rei has a hard time keeping his smile down. He breathes to calm himself before looking up at Kiki with the most neutral expression possible.

"Believe what you want, Kiki, but I'm not having any more of a part in this. My friends and I are _leaving_ now, and don't try to stop us."

"Fine," Kiki answers airily, and Rei's eyes narrow at his tone. There's no way there's no catch involved -- not with Kiki in the picture.

"But...?"

Kiki grins innocently, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "But... First, I think we need to teach little Bruce-y here exactly _how_ a real martial arts experts fight, don't you?"

Rei glances back -- he'd completely forgotten about Bruce's presence, to be honest, and is unsurprised to see him still in his 'bowing-for-forgiveness' pose, his head slightly raised so he can stare at them expectantly now that his presence has been remembered. Takao and Max turn back to stare at him with identical confused looks, probably wondering what kind of weird universe this gym is set in. He's stating to wonder that himself, honestly. Rei looks back at Kiki, scowling.

"I'm not fighting you," Rei tells him decidedly, and Kiki shakes his head.

"No, not you, Rei. Your stick wielding friend and I -- we're going to have a... _friendly_ demonstration. Just to show poor Bruce a thing or two, you know?" Kiki asks, an innocent smile on his face still, and that's seriously starting to unnerve Rei.

Rei looks unsure, looking back and forth between Takao and Kiki. "I don't know, Kiki, we should just go --"

"I promise on sensei's head I won't hurt him," Kiki swears with a serious expression. There's still this air about him, but -- but none of them would swear on Tao's head without thinking about it thoroughly. Right?

"_I'll_ hurt you, you little brat," Takao seethes. Max shakes his head hopelessly, and Rei throws a look at both of them.

"Look, I really don't think--"

"Don't worry, Rei, I'll show this punk!" Takao interrupts him, headstrong as always. "Bring it on!"

Will anyone ever listen to his opinion? This is a bad idea!

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Bruce and Max are standing on one side of the gym, Rei standing on the other -- closer to the door, but also far closer to Kiki and Takao, in case he needs to intervene in the battle. Kiki and Takao are facing each other, and Takao looks _extremely_ peeved.

Rei, for his part, demands to know when his life turned into some manga story that makes no sense whatsoever.

"Alright, Kiki -- keep this clean. You promised not to hurt Takao," Rei reminds him, and Kiki grins at him innocently, waving off his concern.

"Don't worry; I never go back on my words."

_Why_ does that sound ominous...? Before Rei can object (ever, really -- all this has been done far before Rei can object to anything, which is cheating), Takao charges Kiki without warning and the fight commences.

Takao goes for a full frontal attack, swinging down his shinai with as much strength as possible -- Kiki dodges it, effortlessly. Kiki's main strength being his agility, Rei isn't surprised -- he's small and quick. Takao isn't deterred, however, swinging his shinai left and right and trying to hit Kiki, who continues to dodge before Takao can do any damage. Maybe Kiki is only trying to teach Bruce how to dodge? Rei hopes that's the case.

Takao swings down at an angle on Kiki, and this time instead of dodging, the boy _hits_ the shinai at an angle -- a great cracking sound follows, and Rei's eyes widen as Max shouts out:

"Watch out, Rei!"

Rei _knows_ he doesn't have time to dodge, and braces himself to receive it on his arm (raising it up quickly so it doesn't hit his face) when something whizzes past him, hitting the projectile and stopping it in its track.

Part of the shinai falls down, broken in a way that it almost looks like a stake. Next to it, a chunk missing from it is a ...

Potato?

The five boys in the gym stare at the inert potato, completely baffled. Takao is still holding his broken -- and thus useless -- shinai with both hands. Kiki, for his part, moved away after his hit on the weapon that almost skewered Rei. Bruce looks as if he finds this totally normal -- as this is Bruce, Rei supposes it probably _is_, for him -- and Max is ...

Suddenly waving wildly at Rei, a huge smile on his face. Uh? Rei turns around to check if Max is saying hello to someone or if he's just lost it because of rampant potatoes.

Max, it turns out, hasn't lost it. This is good. And potatoes do not fly out of nowhere, either. Rei knows this because one Kai Hiwatari is leaning against the wall, casually, an open potato bag next to him and a serious expression on his face.

...

Potat_oes_?

When did Kai get here?

"... Uh, hi?" Rei mumbles uncertainly, but Kai doesn't turn his glare away from Kiki and Takao. Max is more enthusiastic.

"Nice timing, Kai~! You sure have some wild potato throwing skills!"

...

No, it doesn't sound any more logical when said out loud. Takao, Rei and Kiki stare blankly at Kai, who is completely unmoved by their stares.

"... I _knew_ you had teleporting abilities," Takao mutters loudly, sulking at Kai's general direction.

Kai, being Kai, ignores him to concentrate on Kiki.

"Try to be more inconspicuous next time you plan a move that's meant to skewer people," Kai deadpans, and Rei realizes with a jolt that Kiki had purposefully tried to skewer him.

"Kiki!" Rei yells, outraged. "What the hell?! You tried to seriously injure me this time, and don't deny it!"

Kiki glares, all pretenses dropped. "So maybe I did. I never said I wouldn't hurt _you_, just your friend. It's your own fault you weren't cautious enough!"

"Why the heck would you want to skewer Rei with wood?!" Takao explodes, gesturing wildly. "He's not a vampire!"

More importantly, _why_ is Takao's first thought that Kiki believed Rei to be a vampire? Does he _look_ like a bat? Rei takes a short breath, exhaling slowly before looking at Kiki seriously.

"Do you have any idea what you were trying to do? You're seriously trying to hurt me because I left for America this summer and _neither_ of us talked with the other for _one_ month?"

Kiki's fists ball up as he glares at Rei heatedly. "Don't try to put the blame on me! You're spinning it around so that _I'm_ the bad guy here! If Lai was here, you'd know that you were an idiot for ditching us for those _losers_--"

"And how would I make him know _that_, Kiki?"

Kiki freezes, caught in the act and Rei turns to look at the gym's door -- Kai has moved away from it slightly. Lai and Gao are now standing in the entrance (next to the abandoned sack of potatoes, and Rei isn't even going to bother thinking about _that _one), Gao a strong presence in Lai's back. Lai is looking critically at Kiki, arms crossed. Kiki backs away, looking around nervously. Rei throws a quick look at Max and Takao. They've seemingly gravitated towards Kai and Rei, standing closer now than they were a few minutes ago. Takao is still holding onto his broken shinai like a weapon and Max is throwing worried looks around.

Bruce is bowing again at Lai's arrivals, but instead of being on his knees this time he's only bent his body in half, which is ... slightly better, Rei guesses.

Sorta.

"I apologize for failing my initiation," Bruce starts, but Lai just stares at him blankly and shakes his head, ignoring him.

"I don't even want to know _what_ Kiki said to you," Lai mumbles. "Kiki, you're done here. I don't care what business you think you were finishing with Rei; if _he_ doesn't want to talk to us, we're not going to talk to him either."

Rei's hackles raise at that and he growls. "Now hold on a second, Lai! You didn't try to contact me, either! Just because I make new friends doesn't mean I've ditched you!"

Gao looks back and forth between Lai and Rei, as do Max and Takao. Kai is leaning against the wall, eyes closed, but Rei has to admit -- the presence at his back is comforting. Bruce is looking confused, and Kiki is staring at the wall, arms crossed and ... well, pouting.

There are _way_ too many people in this room, Rei decides, even though it's a gym and can definitely hold more than this.

"Just be _glad_ I'm not letting Kiki get away with harassing you, Kon," Lai snarls, "We're leaving."

Suddenly the other presences in the room seem to disappear as Rei concentrates solely on Lai, feeling the injustice of it all. Lai has _always_ been like this, letting his emotions get the best of him and having a skewed sense of both justice _and_ friendship.

"_Not_ letting him? That's _bull_. We could've gotten seriously injured! What kind of moral is that?!" Rei objects, gesturing wildly. "It's true I didn't try to talk to you last month, but I was _busy_, and I didn't see you try, either. Even if I _had_ ditched you, that's no reason to be violent!"

Lai's eyes are narrowed, and the tension in the room seems to escalate. "I haven't _been_ violent! I could be, considering I don't know what exactly you're planning to do to my cousin. What is it, Rei? You'll just sleep with Mao and then ditch her, too?"

Rei sees red, and before anyone can stop him (or even tries to), he's managed to land a punch right in Lai's face. It feels good, really, but he regrets it the second he hears the resounding _crunch_ as his fist impacts.

Oh, poop.

Lai holds a hand to his face as he hisses out: "You're going to _pay_ for that, Rei!"

He moves himself then, and it becomes a series of dodges, kicks and punches between him and Rei. Rei wonders half-mindedly what's going on with the others, but can't exactly spare the time to look -- Lai manages to tackle him to the ground, and they both wrestle around for a while until Rei hits Lai's sternum right with the bottom of his palm, knocking the wind out of him for a while and using the opportunity to turn them around so that _he's_ the one on top. Lai gasps in pain and then brings a leg up to kick Rei in the stomach and off of him.

_Fuck_ that hurts, but Rei doesn't have the time to breathe as Lai comes at him again with a punch that Rei can barely duck. The kick Lai sends out does manage to hit his head, however, and the next few minutes are a blur of screams and yells and _punch-kick-dodge-hurt-roll-fall-bite-scratch-punch-holyshitmykidneyineededthat_ until --

"My _goodness_, what's going on here?" Principal Daitenji's voice sounds out.

Everything stops.

... Well.

Shit.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Rei, Max, Takao and Kai are summoned first to Daitenji's office.

As it happens, while Rei and Lai were having their own little fight, Kiki had decided this meant an all-out war and had started to attack Takao, who had managed to fend off his attacks as best he could. Bruce had followed suit, attacking Max, and Gao and Kai had been brawling.

Or so that's what Rei gathered from the pose they were all found in and their numerous injuries. On their side, Takao was nursing numerous bruises on his sides and back, but nothing too physically evident unless one looked at his leg, where a huge scrape had been made by the broken shinai at one point through some means or another. Max, for his part, was nursing a black eye, the whole left side of his face swollen. He was holding onto his ribs, where Bruce had apparently managed to land a strong kick. Kai didn't look _that_ bad for a guy that had just taken on Gao, who was quite his size both height wise and weight wise. He had a huge bruise on his right cheek, a split lip, _horribly_ bruised knuckles and had spit out blood in an handkerchief Principal Daitenji had given him -- not from any internal bleeding, like Rei had feared, but from apparently biting off a chunk of his _tongue_ when Gao punched him in the face. Except for that general... jaw damage, Kai only sported minor bruising that they could see.

As for Rei himself, he has scratches and bruises pretty much everywhere on his body and a possible concussion from receiving an elbow in the head, followed with his head bouncing off the hard gym floor. Or so Takao said -- Rei himself didn't remember that part of the fight at all. ... Which probably _did _point towards a concussion. Goody.

On the other side, Lai was sporting _two_ black eyes (and thus looked like a raccoon, in Rei's humble opinion) and the same kind of bruises and scratches Rei did. Kiki also had a huge gash on his arm from the broken shinai and bruises on his side, whereas Bruce had a _broken nose_ and had thus been rushed to an hospital. It seemed Max had a mean left hook when provoked. Gao, for his part, looked worse for wear with dark bruises all over his body and Kai having cracked one of his ribs with a hard kick. This says far more about Kai abilities than it does about Gao's, however.

Rei considers thus it can be said that they won.

...

He's not sure if that's a good thing.

"I can't _believe_ you boys would do something like this!" Daitenji's voice sounds out as he paces back and forth behind his desk in his small office, all four of them sitting on chairs in front of him. (Rei was surprised there were four chairs too, really. Apparently people need to be called in four at a time a lot, or something.) "This kind of violence... Kai, I'm especially disappointed in you, m'boy," he adds, sternly, and Kai gives him a look that Rei translates to mentally as 'this is my caring face'. It does not look very caring. "You'd promised you were done with all this-- this _gang_ violence. And bringing these three boys in with you..."

Kai doesn't even object, simply shrugging before spitting in his handkerchief once more. He hasn't taken it away from the front of his mouth yet, and it's starting to get ... really red. That must hurt a lot, Rei thinks stupidly.

Stupid concussion. Making him. Stupid.

"Uh, sir," Rei starts, sheepish, "Actually, it was my fault. Well, sort of..."

He proceeds to explain the entire story -- retarded though it may be at points ('And then Bruce attacked us because he wanted to get into this clique, you see' being one of the strongest examples)-- to Principal Daitenji who sits down, tapping at his brow with another handkerchief in a nervous gesture everyone this side of Japan can recognize, listening intently. When Rei's astonishing tale is over, he shakes his head.

"... That's the reason for all this senseless violence? My, my..." Daitenji shakes his head again, hopelessly. "Well, first, I'm going to say I'm sorry to have accused you so quickly, Kai m'boy, do forgive me."

Kai takes off his handkerchief, finally, revealing an _extremely_ bloody mouth and chin. "M'used to it," he tells Daitenji with a straight face.

Takao gapes at Kai. "Holy _shit_, dude, doesn't that _hurt_? I mean it's -- bleeding. Like. A _lot_."

At least Rei's concussion doesn't make him _that_ stupid. Kai makes a 'no durr' face at Takao.

"You noticed that on your own?" He drawls, and goes back to spitting blood in his handkerchief.

"D'you reckon you lost a tooth in that mess?" Max asks. Kai groans in his handkerchief, which is probably Kai-speech for _leave me alone I'm bleeding_, and Daitenji coughs to get their attention once more.

"That said and done, while I know you were provoked, at least to a degree, I'm still going to have to suspend all four of you for three days and tell your parents and/or tutors about this." Daitenji's sentence is met with a chorus of groans and he frowns at them, looking serious. "You put someone in the hospital, boys. This is a _school_, and I will _not _tolerate that kind of behavior from anyone attending it, even if it's outside of school hours. Do I make myself clear? I'll deal with Lai and the others, too, but provocation is _no_ excuse for what you did. I have a zero tolerance policy on violence and conflict. If such a problem should arise again, you _will_ either try to talk about it like grown-ups or fetch someone older to deal with it for you. Understood?"

A meek chorus of 'Yes, Principal Daitenji' follows his speech, though Kai remains suspiciously silent. This probably has more to do with being busy spitting out blood then anything else, however.

"Good. Now go home, though I advise you to take a trip to the school nurse before doing so," Daitenji's tone softens and he dabs at his forehead again with a sigh. "You all look terrible."

They rise in sync and head out the door, though Rei bows a little before he does so. Kai doesn't get out first, raising the handkerchief with a hand and raising one eyebrow, clearly asking what he's supposed to do with the bloody thing.

"Just... keep it, m'boy," Daitenji advises him, and Kai shrugs, spitting in it once more. "Oh, one last thing -- tell Lai and the others to come in, would you? My secretary left already."

Oh, _fun_.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"I'm sorry I dragged you guys into all this," Rei tells them as they head home, after deciding together to just bypass the nurse and fetch their uniforms instead. In Max's case, he also says he'll tell his dad and they'll head straight to the clinic, mostly to make sure he doesn't have a cracked rib of his own.

"Nah, s'okay," Max tells him with a smile, waving it off. "I'm just glad the Chief wasn't with us-- I wouldn't want him getting hurt."

"Your friends are _batshit_," Takao adds. "No offense dude, but _seriously_. Are you, like, the sole non-crazy Chinese person? Tell me _they_'re the exceptions, 'cause they're _nutting fucks_."

"You're overdoing it again, Taka," Max warns, and Takao huffs, shaking his head.

"If Kai hadn't magically shown up with his bag o' potatoes, who knows what would've happened. ... Speaking of, how did you get those an' how d'you know where to find us?"

Kai, who has by now chucked the handkerchief somewhere and stopped spitting out blood for the most part (but still looks like he came from a cannibalistic horror movie), shrugs. "I was passing through," Kai answers, and Takao looks surprised he bothered answering at all.

"With a _bag_ of _potatoes_?" Takao asks, bewildered.

"Wasn't mine," Kai replies, matter-of-fact and casual. Takao gapes at him.

Rei and Max share a look and laugh, long and hard.

"The worst is, we totally believe you, man," Max tells Kai in the middle of his laughter, slapping him hard on the back. Kai looks absolutely affronted by this, moving away from Max so that he is no longer in his space. "That was one heck of a day. Lucky we're not doing that again, huh?"

"Don't jinx iiiiiiit," Takao moans, half jumping on Max and mock strangling him with one arm from behind. "My leg hurts enough as it iiiis, I have _splinters_ in my _booboo_!"

Max chokes, both from the choke-hold and his own laughter.

Rei shakes his head as Kai stares at them as if they're a little stupid.

"Thanks for saving us," Rei tells him, amiably.

"Just don't get used to it," Kai answers with a jerk of a shoulder.

"Don't worry, I won't," Rei assures him with a laugh.

"Heeey, stop making friends with Kaiiiii," Takao whines, letting go of Max. "I'm the one he's BFF with!"

"Do I _know _you?" Kai drawls, staring blankly at Takao and moving past him.

Takao gapes at his back again as Rei and Max crack up. He yells after him, jogging slightly as he can't quite run:

"Kaiiii, you jerk, take it baaaaaack!"

Max smiles at them both before turning to Rei, a questioning look on his face.

"You okay? I mean, your friendship with Lai and the others is pretty much over, and you can't say that was a good way for it to end..." Max asks, softly. Rei grows somber and he shakes his head, sighing and looking at the sky. The sun is setting over Bey City by now, the sky turning orange.

"I wish things hadn't ended up this way, but there's nothing I can do now. That's the way things are going to be, I suppose. I feel bad for the part I had in ending my friendship with these guys, yeah, and I'm sad it _did_ end, but... This whole clique idea is stupid." He trails off and grins at Max. "Besides, you guys are pretty good replacements!"

Max laughs. "Gee, thanks."

Rei suspects he'll never talk to Lai, Kiki and Gao again. His relationship with Mao will probably be strained, too. But these things happen. If destiny willed it so, he'll leave it at that.

Besides, what else can come out of this conflict?

(Damn it, Rei, you jinxed it again.)

* * *

LOOOOOOOOONG.

First: notice how I suck at action scenes. Now notice how I added a lot of them! HOW IS THIS INTELLIGENT? Well shut up the plot dictated it. Uuuh. :D; ... Yeah. So like at first chapter 7 was the last of this arc. And then it came to be over eight thousand words and I decided to just cut it into chapter 7 and chapter 8, because YEAH. Yeah. Juust. Yeah. Uh. I swear I'm not character bashing on Lai or Kiki, also called Lee and Kevin. And Gao didn't have any lines. Hurr. ALL THIS STUFF will be remedied in chapter 8. You know with how long this is I don't remember much from it except for FIGHT SCENES and LOOK HOW LAME I AM AT THEM and WOW THIS IS NOT FUNNY. It has some funny bits, but I think this chapter strives more on being generally interesting and action packed than funny. It's funny in some bits. I thank Mister Potato for that, who died so Kai could save Rei from imminent SCRATCHINESS. Being over dramatic is part of the parody, k. ... Why a potato? BECAUSE. I COULD. And I literally could not think of anything else right then, which ended up with me going 'WHO CARES, THIS IS A PARODY. I CAN HAVE A POTATO IF I WANT A POTATO!'.

You may notice here that not only do I suck at fight scenes, I suck at coming up with ideas when chapters get OVERLY LONG and WORDY and god Rei shut up no one caaares. Etc. :D; ... Yeah. Uuuuh. The routine bit at the beginning is me geeking out and watching too many high school driven anime. KAI IS BADASS. ...Nope, nothing else to say. /failure

Three sidenotes: First, schedule update is on my profile, if you're wondering when I plan on releasing the next chapter. Second, if anyone is interested, I'd be willing to write bigger, more contrite author's notes with DETAILS and Q&A and STUFF!!! at my LJ. This would include me posting the chapters there, etc etc just think of it as. Director's bonus. Third: Can anyone explain to me the appeal of Kai/Miguel? I mean, they don't even speak to each other in the show! ... Wait, that has nothing to do with the fic. Uh. Third: Thank you to everyone who faves/alerts/reviews! :) I swear I don't wait for five reviews to update, it's just ended up this way for the past few chapters.

Hope you enjoyed it,

-Zia

(PS: What Kenny? There is no Kenny!)


	8. Would You Like To See Something Strange?

Rei is woken up on his first day of suspension at a six in the morning by the sound of the phone ringing.

He blinks sleepily in the darkness for a few rings, and then grapples at the phone next to his bed without getting up. He stares at it blearily, trying to make out the name but being too tired to read properly before he finally answers it, right before the answering machine kicks in.

"Moshi moshi," Rei asks, and it's a testament of how many years he's spent in Japan that he even remembers to say it so early in the morning.

"Moshi moshi, Rei!" The Chief's voice sounds out, sounding delighted he answered. "We weren't sure if we had the right number, so I'm glad you answered..."

Rei yawns hugely, not bothering to cover it up as he rubs at one eye and sits up. "Uh, yeah... This is Rei... Wait, we?"

"You shouldn't have answered," Takao's voice says with a weary tone. "You're gonna regret it."

"This is officially a four-way call, Rei, and we're getting yelled at!" Max's voice adds jovially.

Rei stares blankly at the wall, trying to understand what exactly was going on. He throws off his covers and gets up from the bed, phone still in hand, scratching the back of his head.

"Yelled at...?" Rei mumbles, completely lost. "Why are you guys calling so early...?"

"Chief learned about our little, uh... mishap, so he decided to call all of us this morning," Max explains.

Mis...hap?

Oh.

Ooooooooh.

Damn.

"Err, I think I have another call," Rei says hurriedly, but he's cut off by the Chief's suddenly going into what Takao calls his 'angry raving mode'.

"Don't you dare hang up," he screams (ow, Rei needed those eardrums). "I can't believe you guys go into a fight at school! You got suspended! Do you have any idea what that will do to your reputation? To your school file?! I can't leave you alone for two seconds, can I?! All of you! You sent two people to the hospital, not to mention all the damage you got yourselves because you couldn't be sensible!"

He stops to breathe, and Rei, who is by now holding the phone at arm's length, moves it back to his ear. He's really not sure what to say to the boy; he has a good point.

"Look, don't blame them," Rei starts, softly, "It was all my fault, I was rash--"

"Hey, the blame doesn't lie solely on you!" Takao interjects hotly. "First off, those guys attacked us, so it was really self-defense, and that guy totally insulted you!"

"I still shouldn't have attacked him," Rei replies. "I was in the wrong for that, and if I had just talked to them sometime over the summer or this month, none of this would have happened..."

"Yeah, but just because you didn't talk to them doesn't mean they should've attacked you!"

"Hey, hey, we're not going to play the blame game here," Max interrupts, "Alright? All the Chief wanted to do was tell us that we were stupid and rash, and that goes for all of us. Instead of attacking each other, we should've interrupted your fight, Rei. We got suspended, and really, we got what was coming to us. Don't feel guilty about it, Rei."

"... Yes, that's exactly what I was going for," the Chief replies, softly, "Don't feel so guilty. I just -- you shouldn't have done that, any of you! That means your friends, too. Still, the situation you got into was highly dangerous, and you're lucky Kai was there to help!"

Rei smiles slightly, leaning against the wall. "Is that why Kai isn't having this 'violence is bad' lecture, too?" he teases, and he can practically hear the boy blushing.

"That's -- it's not -- well -- That is completely different and, um--" he splutters, and the other three boys laughter echoes in the phone.

"Part a is that the Chief is still terrified of him, and part b is that no one actually knows Kai's phone number," Max explains with a laugh. "Not even Takao knows!"

"I don't even know if Kai lives in a house. For all I know, he lives in a graveyard or something," Takao mutters.

Rei rolls his eyes towards the ceiling. "What is he, a vampire?"

"Maybe!" Takao yells, and this time he's the one everyone laughs at. "Oh, shut up, it's totally possible."

"Sure, Taka... Maybe he's also a girl in disguise," Max jokes.

"Anyway," the Chief interjects before this gets any worse, "I'm still mad you guys did something like that... Plus, with all of you gone, I'll be left completely alone at school!"

"Sorry," Rei says, good naturally, "There's nothing we can really do about that, though."

"Well, you better not get in any trouble while you're suspended," the Chief warns.

"Trouble? I got in trouble by Daitenji calling my dad," Max whines. "I'm lucky I don't have a cracked rib, or he'd have been even madder. So far, I have to work the hobby shop all day on all three days of suspension, plus three weeks of non-stop working after school and on weekends. I'm just lucky he didn't call mom..."

"Ouch, and I thought I had it bad," Takao sympathizes. "Gramps is making me work on my kendo starting at four am for all three days, but except for that he just lectured me for hours on end... He didn't even say anything about calling my dad or brother."

"You have a brother?" Rei asks, bewildered.

"Yeah, him and my dad are on archeological digs a lot, so I don't see them often," Takao explains. "He'd have kicked my ass if he'd known I got into a fight..."

"Rei, what about your parents? What did they say?" Max asks, curious.

Rei shrugs before remembering this is a phone conversation and they can't see him. "Well, my legal guardian is a ... special case," Rei tries to explain, gingerly.

"Legal guardian? Are your parents... dead?" Takao questions, softly.

"Oh, no, nothing like that," Rei laughs. "Mom's back in China and my dad died before I was born. She let me move to Japan with Lai, Kiki, Gao, Mao and my legal guardian before seventh grade... I phone her every weekend, and we exchange both e-mails and letters. It's a long story, really, and nothing all that interesting."

"Is that why they were so angry about your so-called ditching?" Max asks, curiously.

"Aaah, Max, don't force him to tell you, this is obviously between Rei and the rest of his friends," the Chief points out nervously, but Rei waves him off before again remembering that they're on the phone.

"It's fine, you guys deserve to know. It's nothing too big, it's just that when we were younger, our grasp on Japanese was really basic, and we were so obviously foreign we were kind of ... ostracized when we got here. It's scary, you know? Being alone in a foreign country and having to depend on people... I guess they still have this feeling that they'll be left completely alone if one of us leaves. We were all each other had for so long..."

An awkward silence follows his explanation. Rei wonders if he'd have reacted the same way if one of the others had done it to him. It's a normal fear, after all -- being alone. Living in a foreign country, cut off from everything he had known, it had been ... frightening, at first. Exhilarating, too. Rei had loved that feeling of adventure, of something new -- he'd craved something similar recently when his life had become routine again. So he'd went to America. Maybe -- maybe Lai and the others didn't feel that same giddiness at exploring new things, meeting people, discovering --

Rei can't imagine not loving the unknown, but he never took into consideration the fact that not everyone thrills on it. Rei craves something else than routine, something different. But he'd never tried to explain himself, had he? He'd just... left. It doesn't excuse the violence, obviously, but sometimes fear and loneliness -- they can make you act out.

"Talk about a dark and dramatic topic way too early in the morning," Takao cuts in, shaking Rei out of his thoughts. "Not to cut in on anyone's brooding time, but this is not the kind of conversation I like to have on the phone. Plus, Chief's about to be late for school."

Rei blinks in surprise as the Chief suddenly yells, loudly: "Aaaaaaaaah! You're right! I'm late!! I'm sorry, I'll talk to you guys later!"

The phone clicks.

"... It's only seven," Max points out. "Also, does anyone know how he learned we were suspended so early?"

"It's the powers of the Chief," Takao answers gravely, "He knows everything. Don't question it."

"Riight," Rei says, cutting off that conversation before it gets any worse. Again. They sure have to do that a lot. "Anyway, I think that's enough phone for today, don't you?"

"Yeah," Max agrees, "I should get going, since my shift o' doom is about to start and all..."

They all say their goodbyes and hang up quickly. Rei stares at the phone for a while after before sighing and flopping down on the bed.

"... What do I do now, Byakko?" Rei asks the ceiling.

The painting of the great white tiger of the west on his ceiling stays perfectly still. Rei closes his eyes and hums.

Of course it couldn't be that easy.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The bad thing about getting no real consequences for his suspension was that by noon of his first day, Rei was...

Bored.

He'd already finished all the homework he'd been given for the duration of his suspension, and except for that, he really had nothing to do. Rei had the habit of cleaning his apartment often enough that nothing really needed to be done; he didn't even have enough laundry to warrant doing any. He wasn't too fond of the Internet or television -- blame his technology-free upbringing -- and he hadn't taken out books from the library in ages. He didn't really feel like reading, anyway.

So the only thing left for Rei to do, at that point, was to go -- gasp -- outside.

Well, it was a beautiful day. ... What? Some people like such things as the sun!

Rei decides never to mention his attraction to the sun to Takao. Enough with the cat jokes already.

... Anyway.

This is how Rei finds himself wandering aimlessly all through the city, managing to go unnoticed by passer-bys, who under normal circumstances would have no problem mentioning in overly-loud whispers 'shouldn't that boy be in school'? These comments were the number two reason why Rei had decided against wearing his school uniform on his afternoon stroll.

... The number one reason being, of course, that he really isn't that fond of the uniform in the first place. What kind of student likes wearing the uniform, honestly?

And so Rei went out for a stroll and absolutely nothing special happened.

... Nah, that'd be too easy.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Rei doesn't quite know what possesses him to take his stroll to the riverbank; as pretty as it is, the riverbank is usually crowded with couples of all ages, and today is no exception. Of course, since school hasn't ended yet and it's a work day, it's actually full of older couples. Rei has never seen so many old people in one place. Even worse, they're all feeding ducks. This is the kind of thing that would have Takao screaming conspiracy for sure.

Rei is far more level-headed than that, and realizes that old people have nothing better to do than feed ducks. Or pigeons. ... Or be principals of all the schools in BeyCity, like Principal Daitenji. For a small town, they sure have a lot of schools. How odd.

Rei realizes that he is way too bored if he's actually considering the past-times of old people. He sighs and stops walking to look at his surroundings. There's a bridge there, and somehow the over-abundance of old people seems to have stopped a while ago. In fact, there's no one at all on this riverbank, except...

Except...

Except Kai Hiwatari, sitting calmly in all his glory on the riverbank, still wearing his school uniform (or what he thinks passes as a school uniform, really -- choker, lack of blazer and all). Well. Guess Rei wasn't the only one who decided to take a stroll.

"Hey, Kai!" Rei calls out. Especially after yesterday's little adventure, Rei's gotten rather fond of Kai. When Rei had first met him, he was turned off by his attitude and general aura, but except for being a loner (and previously being part of a gang, though that came in handy, as shown yesterday), Kai really wasn't that bad.

That's why Rei smiles at him and waves when Kai turns his head around slightly to check who is calling him. Kai doesn't share his enthusiasm, however, and simply turns back after throwing Rei what seems like a bemused glance. (Seems, because half of Kai's face is a weird bruise-y colour and swollen. That must hurt.)

Well, that is Kai for you. Rei doesn't let this bother him too much; instead he decides to go down the small cliff to the riverbank and join Kai in his river watching. He doesn't sit next to Kai, however, deciding to stand there instead. Kai seems to tense a bit at his presence, glancing up out of the corner of his eyes.

"Are you waiting for Takao?" Rei asks Kai, determined to start a conversation.

Kai snorts derisively, seemingly relaxing as he gives Rei a look. "Why would I be waiting for Kinomiya?" he bites, and Rei laughs a little.

"Hm, I dunno. I guess I thought this would be the... 'usual place', right?"

Kai looks out to the river, shrugging lightly. Rei waits for an explanation, but the older boy (or so Rei thinks he is -- Kai looks older, but how would he know?) doesn't bother answering at all. Alright, on the list of wrong conversation starters: Takao. For his part, Rei's rather certain this is Kai and Takao's usual place. It is on the way to Takao's house, from what Rei knows -- he's never been to Takao's family dojo, but he has heard about it numerously -- and Kai does seem like the kind of guy to have a favorite river-watching spot. Plus, the proximity to the bridge means it's probably usually empty save for him, and Rei knows just how much Kai prizes his solitude.

...

Knowing doesn't mean he's going to leave his companion alone right now, of course. Eh. Maybe later.

"Does it hurt?" Rei tries again, gesturing at Kai's face. Kai turns slightly to stare at him, furrowing a brow in confusion and raising his hand up, lingering slightly on his choker before touching his face.

"... Not really," Kai replies. "I've had worse."

Rei really doesn't want to know what would hurt worse than having your jaw punched in by Gao and biting off a chunk of your own tongue. Gang life must be tough. Maybe Kai had had some run-in with the yakuza, too...?

Haaa, what was he thinking? He was being worse than Takao with all his conspiracy theories. What was he going to come up with next? Kai's choker hiding something dramatic, like the scars of a suicide attempt? Pfft. Rei decides he watches too many movies. That never happens in real life. ... Plus, cutting the jugular is pretty lethal. There wouldn't be scars of a suicide attempt, only the result of a suicide attempt. And Kai was definitely not a zombie. Or a ghost.

"I'm still sorry you got hurt because of me," Rei apologizes, trying to get his mind off of thinking weird things about Kai. No wonder everyone else does it so often; Kai does have this aura that draws you in... even though it's very unlikely he's anything more than a troubled teenager.

Why is Rei even thinking about this, anyway? He needs a hobby.

"You're not the one who hit me," Kai reasons, tone completely bored. "And don't flatter yourself into thinking I got hurt for you."

Kai is such a wonderful, caring person. If by wonderful caring person Rei means moody teenager with an attitude problem who is also socially impaired and has the word 'MYSTERIOUS MYSTERY' printed on his head. ... But Rei isn't bitter at all. Noooo. He's actually used to it! Unlike someone we shall not mention who's name begins with 'T' and finishes with 'akao Kinomiya'.

Rei laughs a little at Kai's comment, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "That's not what I meant... I mean, it was my friends who started this fight, so I'm partially responsible. And biting off a chunk of your own tongue can't be all that fun..."

"I wasn't using it anyway," Kai answers sardonically. Rei blinks at him in bewilderment before chuckling a little. Kai's sense of humor is ... really odd, sometimes. "... You'd still call them friends, after all that?"

Rei looks down at Kai, curious, but the other teenager isn't looking at him at all. He's staring at the river impassively, but Rei can see in his eyes something... odd. It's this kind of weird determination, or curiosity, or incomprehension...? Rei doesn't get it at all, for his part. He's been told before that the eyes are the mirrors to the soul, but if that's so, Kai's soul must be... pretty complicated. Can souls have layers?

And there Rei goes again, over thinking things. He shakes his head softly and stares out at the river, too. He feels his happiness dropping as he thinks of his now-former friends.

"... I think I would," he responds gently. "I don't think they consider me a friend anymore, and that's too bad, but ... we've been through too much together to just let everything go so badly. Before we break off our friendship forever, I want to part on better terms, you know?"

Kai scoffs, disdainful. Rei frowns as he tries to come up with a way to properly explain himself. It's not something anyone else seemed to be getting. For Rei, though, it's obvious. His friends once meant the world to him. He can't just let go of a connection like that so easily.

"What's the point?" Kai breaks Rei's thoughts, his tone cold and distant. "Humans... are a waste of time. In the end, what did you get out of that friendship? All people do is drag you down. Slow your progress. Emotional ties... There's a reason they're called that. You should just cut all loose ends and be done with it. You're better off on your own."

Rei is taken-aback by what is possibly Kai's longest sentence yet, full of clichés though it may be. Is that what he really thinks? That everyone should just be alone and cut all ties to ... to what? Spare themselves? Yesterday, he'd wanted to. He'd thought, 'what was the point in keeping a friendship like this'? But cutting ties ... isn't so easy. And Rei... doesn't want to be alone.

"Is that really your opinion?" He inquires, frowning. "Your friends with Takao, if not the rest of us, aren't you? You can't just go through life alone. You'll be, well... lonely."

"Thank you for that insight, Einstein," Kai deadpans. Rei laughs a little nervously, because... well, yes. Most of the time, if you're alone, you're lonely. Not always, but it's kind of stating the obvious. A little. "And who said Kinomiya and I were friends?"

Rei is baffled as he realizes the truth in that last statement. Except for Takao jokingly saying he was Kai's 'BFF' and calling him buddy (Takao calls everyone buddy, however, even those who aren't his buddies), neither of them had ever really said anything about being friends. It seemed obvious, of course, but...

Could Kai be in denial? And why would he be? Of course Takao was kind of an idiot, but -- it's not like being friends with him could hurt Kai's reputation or something ridiculous like that. So why...?

"Why wouldn't you be?" Rei counters, determined to make sense of this. "You've been spending time with each other for what, three months now?"

Kai glares at him for a second, his gaze almost furious before his expression goes back to his usual poker face. Looks like Rei had managed to touch a nerve. Whether this is a good thing or not, though, Rei isn't quite sure.

"I've spent time with people for much longer than that without them being my friends," Kai sneers, almost spitting out the last word. "What makes Kinomiya any different?"

Rei stares determinedly at Kai, unfazed. "You tell me," he counters, and Kai practically bristles at that.

"Don't push your luck," he hisses. Rei, however, has this feeling, like if he does push the issue further, he'll... learn something. Something important. Or lose an eye when Kai tries to kill him with his bare hands. He's not sure if it's worth the risk. But -- there's something abnormal about this kind of behavior. Sure, loners will often say people are useless. Rei has read enough manga to know that.

But the complete denial, the anger... Maybe Kai was deeply betrayed, once, by someone he cared for? Isn't that how it usually goes?

"You--" Rei starts, but something terrifying, something that chills him to the very bone, interrupts him.

"Rei Kon," Mao yells from higher up the cliff, arms crossed and glaring daggers at him (Rei knows this because the second he heard her voice he swiveled around on the spot to gape in fear. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and all). "What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Sweet Byakko, help him now because it looks like Mao learned about what happened. Rei had sincerely hoped she wouldn't. Though, since she was living with Lai, that was hoping for a miracle. Rei only hopes that Lai and the others got yelled at just as much as he is going to be.

A quick glance at Kai shows that, for his part, he is completely thrown-off. Looks like that particular conversation is over. Bummer.

"Err... hi, Mao?" Rei tries, sheepishly, but Mao's glare is enough to make him stop talking before he digs his own grave deeper than it already is.

Looks like school is over for the day. Though Mao didn't have time to change, as she's still in her uniform. This time, her pink hair is tied up in two braids on the side of her face, each with its own tiny blue ribbon. She looks adorable and innocent, but the whole effect is off-set by her murderous expression. It's quite jarring, really.

She jumps down the cliff (no, she doesn't walk down, run down or even slide down, she jumps down), using all her feline grace to land on her feet close enough to Rei that she can simply stand up straight to glare up at him. The whole jump thing made it so that, had there been any pervert in the area, they could have noticed the soft bounce of Mao's ample bosom.

As Rei is a gentleman and completely terrified, he has seen nothing of it. Kai is... well, Kai, and probably doesn't even notice girls have boobs.

Moving on.

"I can't believe you!" Mao seethes at Rei, poking him hard on the chest with a finger. "I told you, I warned you to talk with Lai and the others. I told you! And then not only do you not talk to any of them except for me -- and fail to mention that to me any of the times we saw each other, and since neither my cousin nor our mutual friends spoke about it, I thought it was all well and good! I thought you'd all talked and gotten over that stupid misunderstanding! And what do I find out?"

"... We didn't?" Rei tries, nervously, trying a charming grin so that she stops yelling.

Kai, for his part, seems to find this scene both bemusing and amusing. Jerkwad.

"Oh, not only you didn't," Mao growls, jabbing Rei's chest again. "But the lot of you had a fight! And not even a yelling fight, no! You had to go all out, didn't you? You went and beat each other up, like the stupid boys you are!" She pauses at this point, seemingly realizing Kai's presence and smiles at him. "No offense meant," she apologizes.

Kai simply shrugs it off.

She turns back on him, glowering. "And don't think Lai and the others didn't get this same treatment! You're just a bunch of ... stupid... stubborn... moronic... aggravating... guys!" Again, she smiles at Kai sweetly. "Still no offense meant!"

How can girls change their mood so fast?!

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself, Rei?!" Mao finishes, putting her hands on her hips and glaring up at him.

"I'm... sorry?" Rei apologizes rather lamely. Mao raises an eyebrow, totally not impressed by his rather weak attempt to defend himself and Rei sighs, looking at the grass. "I don't know what to tell you, Mao. I really am sorry," he says, more sincerely this time. "About... everything. I never meant to ditch any of you, it just kind of ... happened. I completely forgot about talking to the guys, and then when they came... I don't have any excuse for my behavior. They were angry, and I should have just tried reasoning with them instead of fighting; I know that now. I was just... so mad, I didn't want to admit I was to blame for most of this."

Mao's eyes soften after his speech and she sighs, relaxing a little and dropping her stare to the grass, too. "Oh, Rei... Lai said almost the same thing, you know. It's not entirely your fault, you know; you're both to blame for this. You're both stubborn, and neither of you took into account how ... vindictive and childish Kiki can be. I know none of you really meant any harm..." She raises her head, then, an annoyed expression coming to her face once again. "So why the hell are all of you telling me this?!" Mao gripes, kicking the earth in aggravation. "Just man up and apologize to each other like you did with me! Is that so much to ask?!"

Rei stares at her, shocked, then laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. "... Yeah, I guess you're right. We have been going about this the completely wrong way..."

Mao groans. "For the last time, stop telling me this! I'm not the one who needs convincing, or apologies! I don't care what you guys say, if you were really sorry, you'd have swallowed your pride and apologized already! Got it?"

He smiles at her, brightly, a charming and thankful kind of smile that lights up his whole face. "You're right. Thanks, Mao."

She stares at him and ducks her head, blushing slightly and sticking her tongue out. "... Well... you're welcome," she mumbles sheepishly, then stares at him and punches him on the shoulder, hard. Ow, that hurt! "Just don't expect me to solve all your problems!"

"I won't," Rei assures her with a grin, rubbing at his shoulder. She sure can pack a punch.

"Anyway, I should get going," Mao starts, "I kinda ran off to find you and totally skipped practice... But still, I don't expect things to go back to the way they were. At least apologize, though, okay? Promise me this time!"

"I promise," Rei says, and Mao looks at him dubiously. She holds up her pinky.

"Pinky swear it!"

Rei stares at her pinky incredulously and Kai snorts from somewhere behind him. He laughs a little, taking hold of Mao's pinky and placing a gentle kiss on it.

"Will that do?" he asks with a wide grin.

Mao's face flushes and she laughs, too. "Guess it will. I'm counting on you, Rei!"

She runs off before anything else can be said, and a silence falls down on Kai and Rei. Kai seems to have gone back to his usual blank-faced persona.

"That's... a pretty easy way to solve my problems, huh?" Rei notes, sheepish. Kai shrugs.

"If you're going to do it," he answers.

"Trust me, I will. I want this whole conflict behind me."

Everything will go back to normal.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Except for the part where, it turns out, Rei fails at life.

Their three day suspension goes faster than anyone would think, with no other real problems. A few things happened, of course -- for one, it seems the Chief and Mao made good friends during this whole venture, hanging out together during lunch, and also the entire school heard about their little... exploits. Meaning they were now slight school celebrities. Nothing big, though. And there was a small incident, once they were all back in school, where Takao first noted that Kai's face was looking 'much better' (especially in comparison to Max's) and, hey, what had his parents said about his suspension? Kai, being Kai, had gruffly answered nothing -- Rei had been surprised he'd answered at all, mind you -- and Takao, being an idiot, had pressed the issue. He'd pressed the issue so much Kai had ended up leaving after a few choice insults were exchanged. He wasn't seen at school for a week after that.

Needless to say, once he came back, Takao -- and everyone else -- steered clear of the subject of Kai's family. Rei mentally added it to the list of things that could explain Kai's issues.

The rest of the month passed without any hitch at all, and it wasn't until Rei woke up and saw the date was the 26th October that he realized he had spent almost an entire month without talking to Lai and the others, save for Mao, to apologize. And neither had they.

Again.

"Byakko, how can almost a month pass without me noticing?" Rei asks his ceiling painting.

As always, it stays silent.

"You are the worst guardian ever," Rei deplores.

The great white tiger says nothing, but Rei is sure he is probably affronted. Wherever he is.

Being the worst guardian ever.

"You know it's true."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

And so, it is the 26th of October, a beautiful, cold, rainy, miserable Monday morning, that not only does Rei realize he fails at life, but that Max Mizuhara announces, brightly and excitedly, during one of the only classes the five boys share together, when they are supposed to be working in teams, that it is almost Halloween, oh my god. (This is a direct quote.)

"Halloween?" Rei asks, curiously. "Isn't that that American holiday, where you go around in costume and get candy?"

"Yeaaah, pretty much," Takao responds, leaning back on his chair so that it stays on two feet. "Maxie makes a big deal outta it every year, though."

"But it is a big deal, Taka!" Max answers, flailing a little. "I can't just reject my heritage! Also, the point isn't the candy, it's to scare people! Wear awesome costumes! Create havoc and mayhem! We're teenagers, aren't we?"

Rei and Takao share a look that says it all, really. Max laughs.

"Awww, c'mon... You guys haven't even heard the real news yet."

The Chief clears his throat loudly. "First, guys, we're supposed to be working. Second, All Hallow's Eve is a lot more than you all make it out to be."

Takao groans, letting his chair give a bang as it goes back to standing on four legs and he flops down on his desk. "Ugh, not again..."

Max, for his part, shakes his head hopelessly, and Kai... is looking out the window and ignoring the lot of them.

Rei, however, is curious. He'd never really cared much about Halloween, but he always appreciated learning more about other cultures. "Really? What is it, then?"

"I'm glad you asked, Rei!" the boy answers brightly, ignoring Takao's now epic groaning of... pain at having to learn or something. "You see, Halloween originated in Ireland first. It was popularized when Irish immigrants brought it with them in the United States near the middle of the 19th century. The Celts, before their Christianization, were the ones who had this holiday first. It was an autumn festival called 'End of Summer', a pastoral and agricultural feast, when the dead revisited the mortal world and large communal bonfires would hence be lit to ward off evil spirits. Costumes and masks were worn in an attempt to copy the evil spirits or placate them."

Rei, while he finds this fascinating, is starting to feel sorry he asked when the Chief continues and Takao starts killing off his brain cells by banging his head repeatedly on the desk.

"Trick-or-treating itself comes from --"

"No one cares," Takao interrupts the Chief rather rudely. "This is the billionth time we've heard this explanation, Chief, and I'd really rather we stop tradition right here. They used to wear costumes to ward off spirits of the dead! That's all there is to it! All Hallow's Eve is the night of the dead and all things spirit-y, yadda yadda yadda. We get it! Let's move on to Max's corner, where he had something to tell us, and it better be interesting or I will strangle you Maxie. Go!"

Max laughs out loud as Rei is, once again, impressed by Takao's complete lack of manners and the Chief simply sighs in a put-upon way.

"Um, isn't that a bit rude?" Rei mutters in question to Max, who is sitting right next to him, so that's convenient.

"Nah, if he hadn't stopped him now, we'd know all about Halloween in every country that celebrates it, and even those who don't," Max explains with a quick grin.

Oh.

Well in that case!

Thank you, Takao's lack of manners.

"Anyway, what I wanted to tell you guys," Max starts, "Is that we're all going to a costume party!"

There is a pause as Rei, Takao and the Chief all stare blankly at Max. Kai, as usual, ignores the lot of them and stares moodily outside. At the rain. Kai can be extensively stereotypical.

"You're kidding, right?" Takao finally asks for all of them. "Maxie, give me one good reason why we should go to a costume party on a Saturday night."

"Because I said so," Max jokes, then has to dodge Takao's thrown eraser. "Don't be violent, Taka, your aim sucks. Anyway, c'mon guys, why not? It'll be fun! There's this big party, and a lot of people from school are invited. It's not like you guys will do anything else on Saturday night..."

"Yeah, no," Takao answers, "There's no way you're making me go, no matter how much you beg."

"Sorry, Max, but I'll pass too," Rei replies. "It's really not my cup of tea."

"I'm ... really not the partying sort," the Chief excuses himself.

Kai doesn't even consider himself included in the 'we', it seems, as he is completely ignoring this conversation.

"It's either that or I go to your house and make you watch horror movies all night long, Chief," Max counters jovially. The Chief pales dramatically.

"... Yeah okay the costume party sounds like a good idea!" the boy backtracks rapidly.

Well, someone was easy to influence, Rei thinks with a grin.

"And Reiiii," Max turns to him, all wide eyes and innocence. Rei narrows his eyes and waits for it, sure he won't back down. "Your girl Mao is going to be there... and so will Lai and the others!"

Rei hesitates a little. "... It's not really the place for the kind of thing I need to talk to them about," he tries, slowly.

"Oh, I guess I'll just have to tell her you didn't want to come, huh?" Max says lightly, smiling still.

...

Hey.

Waitaminute.

Rei can see where this is going.

...

A bad place, that's where!

"Oh no Max," Rei warns, "You are not going to tell her--"

"That you didn't want to talk with Lai? After a whole month? Of course not! I'd never think of it!" Max assures him. With a lying smile.

...

Frick.

"Fine, I'll go," Rei gives up with a sigh. "But how are we going to find costumes in so little time?"

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it!"

Takao makes an outraged face. "Hey! Hey. There is no way you're making me go. Don't even think about it, Maxie! I know all your little tricks!"

Max blinks at Takao and then shrugs, carelessly. "Well, okay. You sit it out. I don't mind. Kai, want to --"

"No."

The answer is clear, blunt, precise, to the point, and, well, Kai. Max beams at him. "I didn't expect you to, but, y'know! Just in case."

It seems like that's the end of that. Max, Rei and the Chief will go to the costume party.

"There is no way you're making me go," Takao warns one last time.

"Of course, Takao."

... If their lives were a tv show, this is usually where there would be a cut and then he goes anyway, isn't it? Luckily for Takao (and Rei), they don't live in such a cliché world.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Tuesday.

"There's no way I'm going to your stupid costume party!"

"Okay."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Wednesday.

"I'm not going! It's final! I don't wanna wear a stupid, embarrassing costume you picked out!"

"That's fine, Taka."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Thursday.

"If Kai doesn't have to go, I don't have to go either! So I'm not going! Ever!"

"Whatever you say, buddy! I don't mind."

... Rei is starting to think the guy doth protest too much.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Friday.

"I'm not going!"

"Okay."

"Okay, fine, I'LL GO! Just leave me alone about it!"

...

Wait, what?

Rei turns to Max, completely bewildered. "How'd you do that?"

Max shrugs, a smug expression on his face. "I didn't do anything."

"Exactly!"

Max laughs. "Reverse psychology at it's cheapest, Rei."

Rei shakes his head.

"... You are good."

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Finally, Saturday -- and thus Halloween -- arrives. More precisely, Saturday night. The party, Max affirmed, starts at 7pm. So obviously, they start getting ready around seven thirty.

By eight, the four boys are done putting their costumes on and head out to party. Hurray.

Max, true to his word, did pick out each one of their costumes. Being Max, he'd amused himself by picking out a theme for their costumes. Superheroes. Not any superheroes Rei had ever actually heard of -- Batman, Spiderman, Superman, y'know, obvious ones like those. Oh no. Instead, he'd chosen some obscure American heroes from the sme team. For example, Takao was Superboy. He was apparently a Superman clone or something ridiculous like that. Max was Kid Flash. Whoever that was, they apparently had the power of super speed and wore a flashy red suit. Rei, lucky boy that he is, got to be Robin. He at least knew Robin. And this Robin outfit wasn't that embarrassing; no thighs. Or lack thereof. The Chief, poor soul that he is, got to be painted head-to-toe (metaphorically, as they only painted the parts that showed out of the costume) green for his part as 'Beast Boy'.

It was that or wearing a completely blue armor suit, though, so Rei really couldn't blame him for his choice. Honestly, who had ever heard of the 'Blue Beetle'?

Anyway.

They head off to the party by foot, Max in the lead and directing them.

"I have directions," he reassures them, "And I know that part of town anyway! No need to worry!"

Clearly, there was no trouble ahead of them at all.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Rei had lied.

There was trouble ahead of them after all.

"What do you mean, we're lost?" the Chief panics, looking around the dark alleys in blind... well, panic.

Max smiles at him nervously. "I mean, uh... all these alleys look the same? I could've sworn it was around here, though, so we can't be that far!"

"Should've brought the GPS," Takao pops casually, arms crossed behind his head. He doesn't seem all that bothered by the fact that they're lost.

In a dark alley.

In a bad part of the town.

In the middle of the night.

Alone.

Hey, it could be worse. They could be wearing flashy outfits that make them stand out!

Oh wait.

They are.

"Max, do you have any idea where we are?! This isn't a good part of BeyCity! At all! It's gang territory, it's the middle of the night, it's All Hallow's Eve which means spirits are everywhere -- n-not that I believe in ghosts or anything -- and you're telling us that we're lost?!"

"Now I know how you feel," Max deplores to Takao, who nods compassionately. The Chief groans.

Rei feels surrounded by idiots. He's not allowed to talk, as he fails at life, but still. Deciding to be the mature one in this situation, Rei clears his throat loudly.

"Alright, guys, no need to panic. We'll just head out of the dark alleys and try to find our way home. But first -- does anyone have a cellphone?"

Takao stares blankly at him. "Y'need some pizza?"

"Yes, Takao," Rei deadpans, "I'm going to get pizza."

There is a pause as Takao looks bewildered by his sudden wish for pizza. Rei ends it with a sigh.

"No, I'm not going to order some pizza. But if we call someone, they might be able to help us. So... does anyone have a cellphone?"

"Not me," Takao replies, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. "Gramps doesn't think I need that kinda 'fancy shmancy technological stuff', or whatever."

Max shakes his head sadly. "Nope. Mine got broken back in America, remember? I didn't get the chance to buy a new one yet..."

The Chief, for his part, looks completely heartbroken. "I have a GTS system and a cellphone integrated device in my laptop... But I didn't want to bring it to the party in case it got broken or damaged!"

Rei sighs. Again. "Okay... I don't have one 'cause I'm not too into technology, if you're wondering. None of the guys or Mao have one, either. It's kinda our thing."

"We're useless," Takao deadpans.

Rei can't help but agree.

"I guess we just... try and walk outta here," he says. "C'mon guys, let's head out."

They all head out, in the multitude of back alleys that seem to comprise this part of BeyCity.

This city sure has weird and inconvenient architecture.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Half an hour later, they are officially lost in the maze of alleys.

"We're doomed," the Chief moans in horror. "We're doomed! We're completely lost in this maze of alleys, there's no light at all now that the moon has been covered! What else can go wrong?!"

Takao, for his part, seems far less bothered than the Chief. "You are in a dark alley. You are likely to be eaten by a grue," he jokes, and the other three glare at him. "Okaaay, not funny."

"I'm sorry, guys," Max apologizes for the billionth time, "I could've sworn there weren't this many alleys the last time I came here..."

"It's fine, Max," Rei reassures him. "Look, we're all together, right? We just have to keep going in a straight line until we get out of here. It can't possibly go on forever. Plus, maybe someone will find us and help us out!"

"Rei's got the right idea!" Takao boasts. "C'mon, guys. There's nothing here that can take us down! It's just some dark alleys. So we're a little lost... it could be worse!"

Rei wonders if Takao has just jinxed them all. Nah, probably not.

"How could it be worse?" The-Worst-Beast-Boy-Ever grounds out, seemingly pained by their enthusiasm.

"Well, the footsteps I'm hearing could be those of a serial killer," Takao mentions casually.

"Oh, yeah, that'd be bad," Max agrees.

Rei realizes with a jolt that, yes, there are footsteps. And they are coming closer. Multiple footsteps, even. Like four other people are coming...

"We're dead, aren't we?" Chief voices Rei's thoughts. But now is not the time to panic. ... Much.

"Guys, hide!" Rei hisses, and the four of them scramble to find a hiding place in a dark, closed-off, extremely narrow alley.

There is none. Not even conveniently placed garbage cans to hide them.

Rei is going to do a petition against the architecture of this town if he lives to see tomorrow.

"Quiet, and try not to make any movement. Maybe they won't see us," Rei whispers in the quietest way possible.

"Yeah, if they're blind," Takao mutters just as quietly. "We're wearing flashy colours. Superheroes, remember?"

"Why couldn't we have gone as ninjas?" Rei asks Max, completely serious.

"I don't have ninja costumes?" Max answers uncertainly.

"Why are you whispering?" A voice from behind the four of them asks curiously as a looming shadow suddenly settles upon them. Stupid moon, conveniently being uncovered at this moment.

"We don't want to get caught by serial killers or gang members," Takao answers casually before realizing there is a looming presence behind them.

"AAAAAAAAH!" The four boys scream in terror (and in sync!), scrambling to get away and get safe from the looming, dangerous presence of ...

...

...

Gao?

Well doesn't Rei feel stupid now. He's wearing a costume -- a bear costume, to be exact -- but there's no mistaking it. That's definitely Gao.

"Was it something I said?" Gao questions, and there's a cackle as Kiki pops up from behind him.

In a monkey costume.

It's. Fitting, if nothing else, Rei assures himself.

"Nah, we just happened to run in on a bunch of scaredy-cats, that's what~!" Kiki declares, a sort of maniacal grin on his face. Gao looks at Kiki blankly before shrugging, seemingly thinking this is all beyond him. If anything, it's beyond Rei. What are they doing in the middle of ...

Wherever they are?

He looks at the three boys beside him. Takao, Max and the Chief all show varying degrees of his own befuddlement, so there's no help over there. He turns back to Kiki and Gao, the former standing proud and amused. Man, Kiki could be such a little twerp sometimes. Nevermind that they were technically the same age.

"Hey, guys! We told you not to go off on your own too far! Where are--" Mao turns the corner of the alley and stops when she sees the lot of them. She blinks, bewildered, and turns her head to the side. "... Rei? ... Why are you here?"

She is wearing a cat girl costume.

...

Rei is officially distracted and hates puberty.

"Uh," Rei answers intelligently, and Takao snickers to his left. Rei elbows him viciously. "Well, you see, we were--"

"Lost too, huh?" Mao cuts him off, looking at the lot of them in costumes. "Looks like we were all headed the same way."

Before Rei -- or anyone else -- can answer (mostly with an obvious 'Ah-duuuuurrr' or 'no this is actually our normal day-to-day clothes'), Lai comes out from the same corner Mao came from (wearing a... ninja costume, completely breaking his group's theme), and does a double-take when he sees that eight people can apparently fit in this tiny alley.

Rei's surprised, too. They can't fit a garbage bin, but eight teenagers? Sure!

Stupid architecture.

"Rei? What are you doing here?" Lai asks, not aware that it almost echoes word for word what his cousin said.

"We're kinda --" Rei starts, but he's cut off by Takao.

"We're lost, juuust like you losers apparently, on the way to the same costume party! Isn't that great?" He pipes up, clapping his hands together. "Can we go now? It's starting to feel cramped here."

Kiki bristles. "Who're you calling losers?

"Uh, you?" Takao deadpans. "Though it'd be obvious and all..."

The Chief facepalms and pushes Takao, causing the boy to lose his precarious balance and topple all over Max. Luckily, Max catches him. Unluckily, Max then just stares at Takao for a few seconds before dropping him. He falls face-first to the pavement.

Ow.

"I'm sorry about that, he can't help being antagonistic, it's in his nature," the Chief apologizes, bowing slightly.

"Eh, who you callin' a loser now?" Kiki gloats.

Until Mao slaps him on the back of the head and Lai groans, rolling his eyes.

"Kiki, enough."

Gao and Rei share an amused look, though Gao also looks kind of baffled by it all. As always.

"A-ny-way," Mao enunciates, shaking her head and bringing her hands to her hips. "Now's not the time for petty grudge fights, and I'm pretty sure everyone is tired of them anyway. Right, Kiki?"

Kiki nods, albeit sulkily. Lai opens his mouth to say something, but one look from Mao shushes him.

On their side, Takao's foot is stepped on by Max, probably because he was about to say 'yeah well you guys started it'. Which is true, but really not the kind of thing to say right now.

"In that case, we can do the whole 'kiss and make-up' bit later. I don't know about you boys, but personally I'm dying to get out of these dirty, stinky alleys. So, truce, guys?" Mao asks, a nice, happy smile on her face hiding PAIN and DOOM if any of them say no.

"Yes, Mao," all the boys answer in chorus.

If anyone says anything about whipped, well. Yes. They are.

But can you blame them?

Mao heads out first, and the guys all stare at each other and shrug before following, one after one. First Gao, then Kiki, having passed in front of Takao and stuck out his tongue on him, followed by Takao, followed by the Chief trying to stop WW3 in its beginner stages. Max shrugs helplessly at Rei and follows the lot more casually. Rei is about to step in line when Lai suddenly puts a hand on his shoulder, effectively stopping him. Rei turns to look at him, curious.

"Lai...? What is it?" Rei asks.

Lai looks nervous and then just sighs. "Look, Rei... I'm sorry about the way we all acted. More importantly, I'm sorry about the way I acted. Can you forgive me, brother?"

Rei smiles softly, putting a hand on Lai's shoulder too. "I'm the one who should be sorry," he explains. "I never meant to ditch you, and I shouldn't have reacted so violently. Plus, I dragged my friends into it, when it really wasn't a conflict they had any business in. Can you forgive me?"

Lai smiles back. "Of course. Neither of us acted in a way to be proud of... And Tao-sensei and Mao sure drilled that into our heads," he finishes, jokingly.

Rei laughs. "No doubt about that!"

"Guyyys, are you coming or what?!" Mao's voice booms out for further ahead. They stare at each other and then laugh.

"Yeah! Coming!"

In the end... All's well that ends well.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

There is one thing that happened that night Rei doesn't tell anyone else. Not Takao, not Mao, not Lai, not Max, not the Chief, not Kiki (who, after a good noogie, gave up on sulking Rei) and not Gao. No one. It's far too bizarre to tell.

At one point, the eight of them separate in different directions, trying to find the way out. This may sound a bit stupid, but they had this weird, contrived system that would permit everyone to find each other... But really, that's not the point. In Rei's alley, he had to stop and hide behind a corner once he heard voices. He'd peered around to look...

He could only really see silhouettes; a big one seemed to be holding up a smaller one (about Rei's size, if he had to guess, so not a young kid or anything) by his collar, flunked by two other guys, just as big. They were all wearing 'biker' clothing, if Rei had to guess at it. They were obviously in a gang, which meant Rei couldn't step up, no matter how much he wanted to.

"So, just 'cause you're supposedly outta gang business, you think it's fair to come hang out on our turf, alone?" The guy holding the other one taunts, his voice gruff. "You sure are cocky, Hiwatari. But we'll show you it don't pay none to be cocky."

At this point, Rei's eyes widens dramatically. Hiwatari? That meant, the guy they were holding up was Kai. What the hell was Kai doing there?

The clouds over the moon cleared, convenient as ever, giving Rei a good look at the people in the alley. Kai doesn't seem fazed at all by his position. He isn't wearing his usual school uniform, and the gang member, it turns out, is actually holding him up by his scarf, instead of his collar like Rei had thought. Why Kai needed a scarf, Rei didn't know -- it wasn't that cold yet. Rei is really more worried by the other's precarious situation, though, and he's ready to jump in if it gets any worse and they try to gang up on him. He doesn't reveal his position yet, though, aware that if he jumps in too soon he would be no help at all.

"Let go of me," Kai tells them, seemingly bored to death by all of this. "I'm not interested in the petty territorial markings of imbeciles."

His eyes are a flashing red in the darkness. Rei can practically feel Kai's darkening aura, and suddenly regrets being spiritual. The gang members guffaw loudly, however, seemingly finding Kai extremely amusing.

"Really? Whaddya think yer gonna do, huh?" The one holding him, probably the leader, taunts, raising him up almost another feet. Kai is imposing, yes, but it's only now that Rei realizes with a jolt that the guy is just as small as he is. They're growing, of course, but right now Kai is a very unimposing five foot four, max. He bites his lip violently to stop himself for interfering right now. Steady, Rei, he thinks to himself. Just wait. "Y'gonna stare us to death if we don't? Y'don't have yer little gang anymore, Hiwatari. Disbanded 'em, didn't you? Eh, they're the only ones who were fooled by yer ice prince stare. You're more like an ice princess, aren't you?"

They laugh again, loudly. It echoes and chills Rei to the bone; he can imagine what kind of things they did before, what kind of things they can do now. But Kai just stares at them blankly.

"You asked for it," Kai replies, his tone still bored.

The moon is covered for what happens next.

Kai's foot suddenly comes up, kicking the guy holding him hard -- Rei hears a crunch, and he's not sure how Kai managed to kick so hard while being suspended in the air like that. The guy drops him with a yell, and then it's mostly just seeing Kai's almost surreal movements. It's like his fighting style mixes true martial arts and the normal, dirty gang brawling -- there's a grace in his moves and yet a complete unpredictability in it. It's vicious; he gives them no quarter to counter-attack, and his attacks are aiming for spots that will hurt or break. He hits one of them on the solar plexus with his own elbow, so hard that something cracks. It's... a massacre. There's nothing normal about this kind of fighting prowess.

Rei suddenly understands all the fear and rumors surrounding Kai.

When it's over, Kai is standing over all three gang members, his foot on the leader's throat, holding him at bay. His expression is still blank, but there's a cold, almost murderous glee in his eyes. There's blood on him -- not that much, really. Rei doesn't know if Kai's injured -- he can't really see properly, but... The way he's standing, and his eyes ...

Whatthefuckthisislikeabadhorrormovie.

"Are we clear?" Kai asks, mockingly. "I'm done with the gang business. I've got better things to do with my time than deal with idiots like you."

He delivers a last kick to the leader, right in the ribs. The guy cries out and seemingly passes out, because he doesn't say anything anymore.

Kai wipes at his face, his expression as blank as ever. "Whoever's hiding... Either show yourself, or run. I'm not in the mood."

Rei stands very still, petrified. He knows Kai wouldn't hurt him -- he was in the right, those guys would've hurt him if he hadn't defended himself, after all, but --

But --

"... Happy Halloween," Kai mutters, sardonically, and he leaves the scene, unbothered by the fact that Rei hadn't chosen either of his options.

There's a silence in the alley, and when Rei walks back to the group, he doesn't mention it.

He convinces himself he doesn't have to. After all, there were rumors about Kai's strength. And Rei had almost seen it for himself; Kai had taken on Gao on his own, and Gao was almost twice his size, both height wise and weight wise. He was only acting out in self-defense. He was out of the gang business; everyone knew that. It wasn't surprising, and it wasn't anything he needed to share. All he'd seen was someone fight in self-defense. That's all it was.

...

Yet, Rei can't shake off the feeling that it ran so, so much deeper than that.

"Rei, we found the exit! Are you coming?" Mao asks him, excitedly.

"... Yeah," Rei answers after a while. He turns back to look at the alley.

He's probably just reading too much bad manga. That's all.

* * *

SO I THOUGHT LAST CHAPTER WAS LONG. And then this one happened! I KIND OF HATE YOU, REI.

So, so, uh. This chapter is CHOKEFULL of foreshadowing, the conflict was resolved SUPER EASILY and oh god the White Tiger arc is over. I AM SO GLAD I DON'T EVEN WANT TO REMEMBER WHAT IS IN THIS CHAPTER. As always: Rei is less funny than Takao, but I still try to be funny. 90% of what Rei is guessing as for Kai is bullshit, mostly because Rei is genre-savvy but doesn't realize this is mocking genres. Har har. Uuuh. If it is not obvious Rei and Mariah KINDA GOT TOGETHER. This isn't all that important because, like I said, no one is keeping the one girlfriend/boyfriend for all of high school. They're kinda like, sweethearts and it's a background pairing, etc. Lai and Mao are cousins because they can't be siblings if they are of the same age. I kinda tried to give away a lot about the family background of the 'breakers. AND FORESHADOW. Did I mention foreshadowing 'cause WOW the HINTS. Also yes, still suck at fight scenes. ... Think that's all for this chapter? Also if it's not obvious, Byakko = Driger guys.

THE NEXT BIG ARC is Max's! But first, before that, one chapter of SUMMER SCHOOL and ... a special chapter from KAI'S POINT OF VIEW! That's right, chapter 10 is ALL ABOUT KAI! Uncovering a lot of secrets about him! His family life! STUFF but not ALL OF IT. Also like I am never letting Rei narrate anything again ever. (... At least until second year.) THANKS FOR ALL THE COMMENTS/FAVES, if you have a question in your review I will answer it (even if it does relate to spoilers, but I make sure not to spoil anyway. I HAVE TRICKS!) aaaand my update schedule is up on my profile if anyone cares.

Hope you enjoyed!

-Zia


	9. Once Upon A Door or Two

Takao's life sucks.

This discovery (while not actually anything new, as he has this 'realization' at least thrice per week) hits him sometime around the fiftieth gazillion-- or so Takao estimates -- mental disorder he looks up. And, really, his life _does_ sucks. Let's recapitulate:

He is one of _two_ students who failed ninth grade and has to go to summer school while his two best friends are away enjoying themselves. His teacher for summer school is a drunk, senile little old man who loves to make fun of his pain. His only classmate is a violent, bad-tempered _robot_ thing who can probably kill him with his brain. He has to do an extremely loosely-defined project in order to fully pass ninth grade, _with_ the aid of previously mentioned class mate. And the project has to be on _mental disorders_, of all things, meaning things that a) are defined with big words Takao can't even pronounce, never mind knows what they actually mean and b) he knows absolutely nothing about except that everyone around him _definitely_ has (multiples of them, even). Really! Could his life suck more?

Don't answer that. Takao honestly doesn't want to jinx himself.

"Why me?" Takao asks desperately, thrusting his arms towards the ceiling in a silent plea to whatever god is listening. (That is, none whatsoever.) "Help! I'll do anything!"

"How about you research and stop screaming in a library," Kai deadpans at him without even looking up from his book. For a guy that does absolutely nothing in class, he's surprisingly studious. Even though he looks bored to death and he's reading with an elbow propped up on the table, his face resting against his fist. Well, he's still reading, which is more than he did in their make-up classes.

Takao mentally makes a face and calls him all the insults he knows. Surprisingly few, but it's not his fault his vocabulary is limited. It's not like he's an idiot or something! Really!

"I would," Takao grinds out, "But I still don't know what we're looking for. You just gave me the book and told me to look! An' why are we looking in books anyway? The Internet'd be better! And also--"

Takao shuts up quickly when Kai slams his book closed and looks up, ever-so-slowly, glaring through his bangs. Takao does not remember Kai's eyes being so red before.

_I'm gonna die_, he thinks pitifully,_ he'll jump rope with my intestines after eviscerating me and ripping out my tongue with his bare hands._

Let it never be said Takao has a lousy imagination. It's just that it mostly never works out in his favor. And it's a bit violent. Takao blames all those campy horror movies. Damn you, Hollywood. Kai glares at him for a while longer, so long that Takao starts squirming in his seat nervously, before he finally just huffs in exasperatedly and stands up.

"This is stupid," he scoffs, and starts to walk away without another word (or without picking up any of the books, which will be a pain for the librarians later).

Takao shoots up after him, gathering his stuff quickly with a curse and jogging to catch up to Kai's quick, angered strides, ignoring the looks of _pure hatred_ everyone in the library shoots them (that is, about _three _people, considering it's summer). If it wasn't for the project, Takao would probably have just shouted at his back some sort of snappy comeback (like 'Yeah? Yeah, well, _so is your face_', because Takao's version of a snappy comeback is mediocre at _best_), but as it stands Takao _needs_ Kai, whether he likes it or not. And he doesn't like it. Oh no, not at all. But beggars can't be choosers, and _blablabla, _more cliché phrases no one cares about that include Takao convincing himself.

Man, his life _sucks_.

"Hey, wait!" Takao yells after Kai, disturbing the three people in the library _even more_ and having the strange feeling he's going to have to run after Kai _a heck of a lot_ in his life. That's stupid, though -- like hell he's spending time with that guy once summer ends. He catches up to Kai just before they reach the exit to the library, and again Takao believes Kai must be _magic_ or something, to walk that fast. "What do you _not_ get about the concept of _teamwork_, here?!"

Okay, so maybe snapping that wasn't the best idea Takao had ever had. But hey, it wasn't the worst, either. (There was that time, with the lawnmower in that shop, and his brother was never the same after that...) Besides, he wasn't going to be the only one to make some amends for this thing to work -- he's sick and tired of having to bend backward towards Kai's will just because the guy is probably older, stronger, scarier and smarter than he is. That wasn't fair! Maybe it was logical, but _it wasn't fair_. So there.

Kai, who hadn't even bothered to stop his whole 'la la la walking away la la la I am a robot la la la stop envisioning me saying la la la you're about to think of me as a Disney princess la la la' routine and was subsequently forcing Takao to follow his quick strides by jogging (curse his shorter legs and diminutive attention span, which had nothing to do with Takao having to jog but did make him go off into odd tangents like the one that included Kai being Snow White, and wasn't _that_ just a disturbing thought?), doesn't even look at him as he deadpans:

"The part where I need to spend time with someone who doesn't even see a door when it's coming, that's what I don't understand."

Takao throws a bemused look at him. Sure, he ran into a door earlier, but that didn't have anything to do with the subject at hand--

BAM.

Oh, look, straight into another door. That's what Kai meant.

"... Ow," Takao says eloquently, rubbing his forehead where a huge bruise is already forming. Doors are evil. "Owwww. My life blows."

Kai stares at him blankly from the doorway right next to Takao's. His door is open, the stupid lucky bastard. It's like everyone in the entire Universe was working together to mock him horribly. Screw the universe. And doors. _Especially_ doors. In Takao's perfect world, there are no doors. You enter houses through _giant windows_. Which are basically doors, so really Takao sucks at coming up with alternatives for doors. Stupid doors.

"My life blows _big baby chunks_," Takao adds, as if hoping Kai would pity him enough to stop staring at him like he is mentally retarded. Or maybe he just wanted to say big baby chunks. Or maybe hitting his head against doors so often as made him _completely idiotic_. Yeah, that works.

Kai stares at him with an extremely pained expression; as if every moment spent in his company hurts him physically from 'the dumb' Takao exudes. Perhaps he's worried that he will catch stupid. That's silly, though -- you can't catch stupid. At least Takao thinks so. Hopes so, considering who their teacher for the summer is. Though Tao's specialness is not stupid so much as pure craziness, and while Takao isn't a hundred percent sure you can't catch the stupid, he learned from his grandfather that madness is not a disease you can catch. Otherwise he'd have it already. Takao isn't crazy; ADD, kind of slow, tactless, lazy and prone to fits that _make_ people believe he's crazy, but not actually crazy. Also, he has a history of running into doors and feeling extremely suicidal, but that still doesn't make him crazy. Might point towards the 'special needs' class, though.

Or maybe madness is hereditary, because _wow_ but his train of thoughts derailed there. Forever.

"I hate doors," Takao announces, belatedly. Very belatedly. He blames his self-diagnosed ADD, which is probably a lie and just hereditary nutsiness, but that thought is too depressing, so, self-diagnosed ADD it is! "Ahurrr -- uhm. The project! We have to ... do it together," he finishes lamely.

Fuuuuuuuuuck doors. Seriously.

"... We have until summer school ends," Kai tells him in a tone of voice normally reserved for the special children who are currently eating glue and naming all their toes _at the same time_.

Takao just gapes. "So, wait, if we have like, _six more weeks_, why the heck did you even drag me to the library in the first place?! Dude! Uncool!"

That is totally uncool, man, and _his grandfather's madness really is hereditary_. That or speaking like that is something you learn by running into doors. A lot.

Had Takao said 'fuck doors' yet? Seriously. _Fuck doors_.

"Do you honestly think I want to spend _six weeks_ in your company?" Kai drawls. "The sooner we're done with this stupid team project, the sooner you can stop following me and running into doors. I don't _do_ teams."

Oh, look, Kai was doing the bitchy loner speech. How original. _Not_. Takao huffs, blowing his cheeks up childishly and crossing his arms. Kai looks terribly unimpressed, probably because it makes Takao look like a giant, flesh colored frog. Meh. "There's no _I_ in team, you know," Takao says, mockingly, using a higher tone of voice to make it sound like the kind of _annoying_ lesson for kids it really was.

"There's no Kai in team, either," Kai mimics with the exact same tone of voice, and then looks just as bewildered as Takao when he realizes he bothered replying to such childish taunting. In the same childish fashion, to boot. _And_ with the worse comeback since '_yeah well so's your face_'. "I'm done here," he adds, aggravated -- at himself; maybe, though Takao is willing to be a gazillion dollars he is aggravated at Takao, life, the universe, and _everything_ more than himself.

And then he turns around and leaves through the open door, while Takao just _stares _for a while because, really? He totally should've seen that one coming. He's about to charge after Kai when he remembers that, directly in front of him is a _closed_ door, so he glares at that one for half a second and takes a step to the left.

"You're not getting me _this time__**,**_"Takao tells the door triumphantly, and then marches off to get to Kai.

And promptly walks into the wall, because he should've taken a step to his _other_ left.

"_BIG BABY CHUNKS_," Takao curses loudly.

The librarian, who had been ignoring him and Kai all this time, throws him a look.

"Shhhh."

Takao's life sucks.

_Like a Hoover_.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Takao gives up on running after Kai for the day, for multiple reasons.

First, his head hurts. This is unsurprising, considering your head generally hurts when you ram it into things repeatedly. Second, in the few minutes it took him to stop cursing doors, walls and every other non-open space that exists in this world, Kai had probably managed to get halfway through the city, and Takao really doesn't feel like running that far. Or at all, to be more honest. Third, after checking out the project outline and being assured that it was _indeed_ only due on the last few days of summer school, Takao has decided that he is going to become Mr. Procrastinator Extraordinaire and _not care anymore_ for a while. At least until tomorrow, in any case. Lastly, _he is really tired of chasing Kai_. It's no fun at all.

So, there it is. Takao is going to go home (truth), start his homework (lie), ignore his grandfather (truth), do his other chores (lie), and then lie in bed (truth) and forget about the whole thing entirely (complete bullshit). That's all he'll do for the night.

Tomorrow, of course, is a different story. He'll have to find a way to corner Kai and _force_ the guy to plan some project-working time with him, even if that means dragging him back to his home or whining to Tao about it. Seiryuu forbid he has to resort to _that_, though. He and Kai will talk, and that's what's important. It's not like he wants to _know_ the guy. It's strictly going to be about school work. Kai does seem to care about that, at least. A little. Sort of.

That talk is really going to be needed.

Takao just hopes it goes better than the one his brother almost had with him over video conference about 'Puberty and the Changes You're Going Through'. Takao had never been so glad to see his dad interrupt a conversation. Especially considering how blunt his older brother could be. Man, he'd dodged a bullet there.

So, anyway. Today, home. Tomorrow, talk with Mr. Stuck-Up about the project. That was the schedule so far, and Takao was sticking to it, and not going to let anything distract or divert him from it, ever.

He heads on home, determined to make this thing work.

... And then, he steadily ignores Kai at the riverbank, because it would screw up the schedule.

Oh, shut up.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

As it turns out, Takao would have been better off going against schedule.

The next day, he's unable to talk to Kai at lunch because of a few incidents that led to him 'exploring the city' with Tao (which Takao has promptly forgotten for the sake of his sanity, forever and ever and _there were so many pairs of shoes_). He figures, there's no harm in that. After all, even though he's been unable to talk with Kai during classes (he'd tried, even going so far as seating himself _next_ to Kai, who'd looked disgruntled but didn't kill him, which was a good thing, but if he whispered Kai ignored him, and if he talked loud enough for Tao to hear him he was advised _not to cheat_, this was an important test, which was ridiculous because Kai had done _no work at all_, and they weren't even taking a test _anyway_, so he'd just given up in the end) and the only time he had left to talk with him today before Kai disappeared forever was at the end of classes, either here or at the riverbank, it was still entirely possible.

So, he was still determined, one hundred percent ready and hating math like you wouldn't believe. Not that the math had anything to do with, well, _anything_, but he still hated them. (Screw your statistics, world. There totally are such things as lucky numbers!)

A knock on the door cuts off his mental ranting at math and angry doodling of numbers and percentages being thrown off a cliff (or what any other person would call 'scribbles and lines and stuff', because there is no coherence in them whatsoever). A few seconds after the knock, which actually made Tao look up from his magazine (on shoes, why shoes, _why_) but failed to bring Kai to look anywhere _but_ the window, Principal Daitenji enters the room.

"Principal Daitenji!" Takao exclaims, still stuck in his dream that one day the principal will tell him he is in summer school because of an unfortunate error, or that all this time he's been on one of those weird reality TV shows that try to trap you in surreal situations. He knows the chances of that are infinitively small, smaller than Kai actually cracking a smile, but _it would still be nice_.

The Principal smiles at him politely, dabbing at his forehead in a nervous manner. That meant he hadn't come for good news. Damn it. "Good afternoon, m'boy," Daitenji tells him in his best 'loving grandparent' voice, and this is why Takao can never stay mad at him, ever. Daitenji's too... well, nice. "Tao-sensei."

Tao smiles at the principal, bowing his head in acknowledgment. "Principal! To what do I owe this honorable visit?"

"I'm afraid I'm not here to visit," Daitenji responds. "I'm actually here for Mr. Hiwatari -- Kai? M'boy?"

All eyes are turned to the figure steadily ignoring everything going on around him. There's not even a twitch of response. Takao is under the sudden impression Kai is totally sleeping. Daitenji, for his part, simply sighs and dabs his forehead with his handkerchief again. Way too nervous. Wonder what Kai did?

"Takao, m'boy -- would you mind unplugging him?"

Takao stares. Un...plugging. Oh man. He _knew_ Kai was a robot. Daitenji, catching his look, shakes his head and chuckles softly.

"The earphones, boy, the _earphones_," he adds, and Takao is not disappointed at all.

Okay, maybe a _little_, but at least it explains what Kai does in class all the time.

He reaches over and, finally seeing the telltale signs of the earphone cord (black, like Kai's shirt, and that explains why he'd never noticed before), tugs on them slightly. Kai's head swivels around, unplugging them himself in a swift movement, glaring murder at Takao and practically _bristling _with indignation.

He should have said he minded and let Daitenji do it himself. Eep. He makes a face back at Kai, gesturing to Daitenji with a 'Pay attention' look on his face, and man it feels good to be able to do it to someone else, for once. Daitenji coughs loudly at the same time, to get them to pay attention, and then he gets the stares of two teenagers on him at once, one suddenly carefully blank (Kai's) and one accusing Daitenji of trying to get him murdered (Takao's, obviously). He dabs at his forehead some more.

Takao notes that he can't hear what music Kai was listening to at all, and is definitely not disappointed again.

"Kai, m'boy, your grandfather sent someone to get you," Daitenji explains softly, only a _hint_ of nervousness in his voice. "You've been excused for the reminder of the day."

Kai stares, silently, before nodding, getting up, grabbing the few things he had and start to leave without a word.

Takao, for his part, just gapes. "Hey, wait--" he starts to protest, but Daitenji shakes his head at him and he stops, frowning.

"He says it's very important business," Daitenji tells Kai, and Kai just shrugs, unmoved, stalking past the principal and heading off into the hallway.

What is going ooooooooon.

"Well, Tao, I'll see you later. Takao, m'boy, do work hard on your studies? And don't worry, Kai will be back tomorrow. Now, good day," Daitenji tells them, closing the door behind him as he follows Kai.

There are a few questions in Takao's mind, right now.

Like, what kind of business did Kai's grandfather want with him? Why had Daitenji been so nervous about it? What kind of man was Kai's grandfather? Did Kai live with his parents, or just his grandpa, like him? Where exactly did Kai live? What did his house look like?

What was for supper?

"Oh, yes, things are getting quite interesting," Tao muses aloud. Takao nods in agreement, absent-mindedly.

Then he realizes what he's doing.

"Wait, what? What's getting interesting?" Takao demands loudly, staring at Tao wide-eyed.

Tao, for his part, merely gestures innocently to his magazine. "The shoes, of course! What else would I be talking about?"

Yeah. Of course. What else _indeed_.

...

This totally threw off his schedule. Damn it.

* * *

SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT THROW OFF SCHEDULES, hello real life how nice of you to top me for so long.

I HAVE... a multitude of reasons as for why this took forever, including the fact that I moved into an apartment, started school again, family things, ETC, but since my reasons are actually legit no one cares anymore and so I shall move on to this chapter.

It is regrettably short and devoid of anything particularly interesting, and the project is ignored la la la. You see, I realized I didn't need to rush things on this side of the fence, since I have 2 months of storytime running parallel with, uh, ten months of storytime. I am going to run out of material if I rush things. SO. There you go. Besides I'm far more pumped up for the main storyline, especially since chapter 10 is the Special Kai chapter, so that one gets to be huge and interesting. This is filler. Okay? Okay. MOSTLY THIS IS FUNNY. I THINK. I MAY OR MAY NOT LACK PROPER HUMOR WHEN VERY BUSY. Sorry, guys.

Thank you for all the reviews/faves/stalkering (humhum, you know who you are)! I'll do my best to get the next chapter out in the normal given time of a week, instead of you know a month and a half that was lame. Yeaaah. :D;

Hope you enjoyed it,

-Zia

(ONE HUNDRED PERCENT KAI CHAPTER COMING UP NEXT I REALLY AM PUMPED UP FOR IT!)

PS: As an apology gift (and total pimping of myself) for this taking sososo long, copy and paste this http :// chibizia. deviantart. com/ art/ Kai-Hiwatari-Cosplay-134787733 into your web browser (MINUS THE SPAAACES) to see a picture of my Kai cosplay! Oh, shut up, you totally do care. (Don't you? ;o; )


	10. My Own Personal Hell

Kai Hiwatari does not like people.

Now, to everyone who has, at the very least, heard of Kai (90% of the entire Bey City population), this is the biggest understatement since Takao Kinomiya claimed Rei Kon was "kinda kitty like, actually". After all, anyone with half a brain could tell you all about Kai and how he kicks puppies, trips little old ladies, eats babies and other horrible actions to things that end in -ies. Only all those stories are just the standard rumor-mill of Bey City, a city so mind-numbingly _boring _it has nothing better to do than run a rumor-mill on a sixteen year old teenager. Some people have Batman; Bey City has Kai. It's close enough for them. Still, the point stands: everyone knows Kai absolutely despises people. And puppies. And that tree. And possibly that wall over there. Basically, as anyone would tell you, Kai hates everything.

This is pure bullshit.

The truth of the matter isn't that Kai hates everything. In fact, Kai doesn't even hate _a large quantity_ of things. That includes people. He does not despise, or hate, or abhor, or loathe, or detest, or disfavor, or scorn, or execrate, or any other synonym of 'hate' taken from the nearest thesaurus, people. He doesn't even _dislike_ people. Because _not liking_ something is not equivalent to _disliking_ something. Kai's view of people is exceedingly simple: he does not care for people, one way or another. Kai tolerates people the way he tolerates trees, cars, and anything else in the universe he doesn't care for (most of it): they're there, and he doesn't really give a crap about it.

So, no, Kai does not hate everyone and wish for the entirety of the human race to disappear and leave him alone forever.

... Well, most of the time. Sometimes he does, but then again, everyone has that kind of day once in a while. And just like the rest of people who are surrounded by morons, he curbs in his murderous urges in order to properly live in society. ... Okay, more like in order to not be thrown in jail forever. Still, the hatred is not permanent.

Of course, there are a couple of notable exceptions to Kai's view of humanity as a whole. They make up the few people who bypass Kai's usual reaction to a person-- that being, to ignore them forever until they go away. Ignoring the ones Kai _has_ to talk to, or that he used for his own purposes (his old street gang comes to mind), the notable exceptions grow even fewer. His grandfather is the most notable of them all, for reasons that really should be obvious, considering he _is _Kai's only living relative as far as the teen knows. Amongst other obvious things. The other big exemption to the rule of Ignore It And It Will Go Away is Kinomiya's posse. That, of course, includes Kinomiya himself. These days, Kai even interacts with them of his own volition. Sometimes. Still, they seem unable to leave Kai alone, and so he's given up on trying to ignore them until they go away; just like Kinomiya, that technique only really works with people who have self-preservation instincts. He tolerates them. It even stops Principal Daitenji from bothering him about getting 'friends'. In general, he's completely okay with them being around so long as they don't try to include him too much.

...

But the thing is, _he has no idea why_.

It's baffling, really.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"So, are we meeting after school today still?" Kinomiya asks him during lunch, and Kai stares blankly at the other boy's earnest expression.

It's a dark and cold November day, but the four of them still decided to join him on the roof. Not that they'd spoken a lot so far-- five days into November and already teachers had announced all the tests before Christmas, meaning everyone but Kai was busy studying (or, in Kinomiya's case, _learning_ it in the first place). The sheer number of examinations coming up is probably the only reason Kinomiya bothered to ask, for once -- he usually just expects Kai to be there and rants at him when he isn't. If you can call extensive whining a rant, anyway. Normally, he'd shrug off the question and ignore Kinomiya when he takes it as a yes, but today is ... different.

Kai hates November.

"No," he answers, curtly, and completely ignores all sputtering and incoherent demands Kinomiya spews fort afterwards. Those can be summarized in the oft-repeated "Aw c'mon dude why nooooot" that drives Kai up a wall on particularly bad days; as today _is_ a particularly bad day, Kai does not feel any guilt whatsoever in ignoring Kinomiya. Not that he would feel guilt otherwise, mind you. He starts to count down mentally in his head as the others steal a bewildered glint or two in their direction, stretching his legs from his previous sitting position once he reaches five. Four, three, two, one...

The bell rings, right on schedule. Kinomiya starts to gather his things in a rush as the others goad him for not realizing how late it is, and Kai uses this distraction to slip away unnoticed.

He has something far more important to do tonight than being Kinomiya's daily high of the day, or whatever it is. Tonight, Kai has a date.

With his parents.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

People who haven't been in Bey City for very long are usually surprised to learn it has a graveyard. A lot of things in Bey City surprise people, in fact; the insane number of abandoned buildings, for one, and the retarded architecture of half of the city for another. Still, people being surprised a supposed "small town" (Bey City is more of a normal-sized city, actually, but try telling _that_ to the general population and no one will believe you, regardless of numbers and facts and retarded alleyway architecture) has a graveyard has always seemed ridiculous to Kai. After all, if it really _was_ a small town (which it isn't), the graveyard would probably be the only thing of interest in it. People dying is a constant of life, small town or not.

And apparently, people being stupid is a constant of _the universe_, but Kai tries not to think about that too often, lest he be overcome with the urge to try and control the entire gang system of Bey City again. A huge waste of time _that_ was; though in his defense, he _had_ been twelve when he'd taken up the ridiculous notion. He'd still managed to secure half of it, and that was good enough; the rest weren't worth giving them the time of day, as proven by Halloween's little incident (amongst other things-- _many_ other things).

So here Kai was again, in the "least favorable" part of town. It would almost serve as a ghetto if not for the absolutely ridiculous architecture. Whoever designed this part of the city was either _very _bored or very _high_. Kai figures it's the former, rather than the latter-- the alleyways are actually rather 'neat', like the work of an extremely OCD person trying to make the World's Greatest Labyrinth. That or they took the idea straight off of a bad 'dark' movie script, where things such as _intelligent architecture_ are considered completely overrated, and the sheer number of back alleys used for plot purposes is practically over nine thousand.

...

Wait, wasn't that one of Mizuhara's overblown American shout-outs? Kai definitely needed to stop _listening_ to these people. Though, this is what he gets for letting his mind wander, he supposes.

The graveyard is pretty empty at this hour; three o' clock at the afternoon on a Thursday is apparently _not _the highway time for depressing visits to dead people. Reason number one to skip out on Kinomiya for this, check. Not that people visit graveyards that often in general -- Kai himself included. For most people, it is the sheer depressive feeling of visiting a loved one postmortem, keeping them from doing it too often.

For Kai, it's that he lacks a _reason_.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The grave in itself is nothing special. There's no grand statue to indicate its placement. It's one tombstone among many nearly identical ones. A simple marble slate. The first time Kai was brought here-- the first time Kai _remembers_ being brought here-- he hadn't been very impressed. It was a rock sitting on dirt. He'd pointed that out to his grandfather, who had simply told him not to disrespect the dead. He should be grateful, his grandfather had continued, that they had given life to him. Kai had wisely kept his mouth shut after that.

Honestly, he still thinks it's just a rock sitting on dirt. A rock with names and dates on it, true, but just a rock anyway. If he hadn't known this was where his parents rested, it would be just like every other tombstone in the place; the marker of dead people he doesn't know anything about. .... Not that he knows anything about his parents beyond their names, either. Oh, right. He also knows they died when he was three -- or maybe when he was four. He only has the year of death to go off of, so for all he knows it happened on his birthday or something equally dramatic.

So, really, why _does_ Kai bother coming back here every year? It's not like he feels any connection to the rotting bodies that lie about six feet underground. (Kinomiya would probably say something about the whole graveyard being "potential zombie infestation ground", and _why_ does Kai keep _listening_ to those people, now he can't get their running commentary out of his _head_.) He doesn't know these people, doesn't remember them, and so can't bring himself to care about them. His parents are dead and buried. ("When I die, I don't wanna be buried, what if I'm not _really_ dead and they bury me alive?!" Kinomiya had ranted at him once, and Kai hadn't said anything, but he also doesn't want to be buried -- Kai wants to burn, like -- this is stupid, why is he _thinking_ about this--)

Kai resists the urge to kick the tombstone. Every year he comes by, and he still never remembers the right thing. Or, really, _any_thing. At this point, he might as well just head on home.

He looks at the tombstone -- still a rock on dirt hiding rotting bodies in expensive wooden boxes, still so very, very unimpressive, still leaving him cold -- and lifts his hand out of his pocket as a farewell to Mr. and Mrs. Hiwatari before he leaves.

(And for Suzaku's sake if Kinomiya doesn't get out of his head this instant he will _punch_ the other boy the next time he sees him, warranted or not.)

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The Hiwatari mansion is situated far, far away from the cemetery, all the way to the outskirts of the other side of the city, so far away the mansion is barely even considered to be a part of Bey City at all. And, really, it can't be considered anything _but _a mansion; huge, empty and imposing as it is, it's at least not a castle -- Kai is vaguely aware of some European ancestry in his family tree that, all things considered, _could_ be from his grandfather's side yet probably isn't -- there's no way Kai would've been able to stand living in a _castle_ of all things. Fruitless spending from his grandfather he could live with; combining it with _even more_ blatant showing off how wealthy they were and Kai might have had to gag himself with a spoon.

... Another Mizuhara-ism. And this is why Kon is the most acceptable of the lot -- he might be just as annoying, but at least he didn't have the ability to create an actual _lasting impression_ on Kai's _brain_. American sayings that make no sense are still more acceptable than having Kinomiya's running commentary in his head, at least.

Tangents. Kai's mind is always running into overdrive when he isn't concentrating on something in particular. It's useful in a fight; he can pinpoint weaknesses, strategizes on the go when he needs to (rarely; winning using brute force works often in this city), but otherwise it's something Kai could really do without. There's such a thing as over thinking _too_ much, and he still doesn't know why his first reflex when he enters a room is to find all possible and quickest escape routes, why he feels the need to pinpoint every weak points and flaws in the people and places he sees, why he has an internal clock that is correct down to the _second_, and, most importantly, why the hell can he count the number of bricks (or any other material) in a construction by just _glancing_ at it.

Of all things, that one has got to be the most useless and distracting. Oooh, look, he can correctly guess all the peas in a jar with barely a glance! Whoop-dee-doo.

By the time Kai gets to the mansion, the sun had long since set on the city; it sets earlier around this time of year, so it's not like Kai took his sweet time getting there. It really is just that far away a walk from the cemetery. And, well, pretty much everything else in the city. In theory, Kai could ask a chauffeur and get a limo to bring him anywhere he wanted. In theory, because, well, spoon, gagging himself, etc. Besides, Kai _likes_ walking; he usually runs to and from the city as training.

(...He's not sure what he's training himself for, but if Kai isn't keeping in top shape physically, he starts to feel -- the burn in his chest and the lump in his throat and the urge, just the urge to go, go before he becomes obsolete, becomes weak and--

Well.

It's easier to just train.)

He takes a look at the closed gates and considers, not for the first time, actually ringing so someone can open it for him. As always, he dismisses the idea-- having his entry somewhere be announced gives him _hives_; something about it just screams against all of Kai's instincts, and he's learned not to question why he has those and just trust them instead. They have yet to led him astray, so there's no point wondering. Kai takes a step back before running and jumping over the stone walls surrounding their property; he does it gracefully by now, without a hitch, giving himself the boost he needs with one hand, but the first few times he'd scrapped his pants (or his hands) on the bricks. He'd either underestimated the height or overestimated his own jumping ability back then, depending on the day. Calculating jumps like these admittedly comes easier now that his brain is not as jumbled as it had been when he'd first come to the mansion.

Kai lands in a crouch on the grass of the other side, staring blankly at the expense of empty property (save for the driveway and a fountain which used to have fish in it until the inevitable realization that fish and fountains do not mix). He sighs as he stands up and brushes off the grass on his uniform pants. It's wet, damp, cold grass. Ugh.

_I hate November_, Kai thinks as he heads deeper into the Hiwatari property.

By the time he reaches the manor itself, his sneakers are soaked. This is supposedly what he gets for refusing to walk in the paved path.

Kai _really_ hates November.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"Young Master," the first servant (butlers, maids, cooks, his grandfather has it all; there are _far_ more of them than could ever be needed, too) tells him after Kai had figured he'd managed to sneak in without being seen (which he had; he couldn't be blamed that there was a servant magically waiting at _every corner_ of this mansion), "Please change. Master Souichirou expects you for dinner tonight."

And right this instant, Kai hates everything. He's going to be eating with his grandfather.

Oh, _joy_.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

It's not frequent for his grandfather to choose to _grace _Kai with his presence; more often than not the man is busy with overseeing the family business and... whatever else he does during the day (Kai doesn't care to know). Meals with him are thus a rare, but _distressing_ experience. For numerous reasons.

Not that his grandfather -- or anyone else, really -- is aware of how much Kai wishes he'd never have to spend a single meal with him. It's not that his grandfather is a hateful man (or, well, no more than usual for an old man also CEO of his own company) and dislikes Kai or something like that. No, as far as Kai knows, his grandfather is... _fond_ of him. Kai's life would probably be easier if his grandfather _did_ dislike him; if he did, than he'd never pay any attention whatsoever to what Kai did, or care at all.

"Changing" for the meal doesn't imply anything fancy; it simply means Kai should switch out of his school "uniform". He doesn't know why his grandfather is adamant Kai not parade around in it around him and switch clothes; if Kai is going to stay in the mansion, he won't bother putting on his "street" clothes, so what he ends up wearing is extremely similar to the uniform anyway. Meaning, loose pants and a white button up shirt. Really, there's no difference. Maybe if Kai ever bothered to put on the blazer and tie...

Maybe the day someone at that school actually called him out on it, he would. Principal Daitenji would probably be the only one who would bother, but he's satisfied with Kai showing up to school on a regular basis for now. Perhaps next year he'd aim higher. Make him take off his face paint? How daring.

... Freaking _tangents_.

Kai checks the clock from the corner of his eyes. He's managed to put off going to eat for a good ten minutes with the changing excuse, but if he makes his grandfather wait any longer, the man will probably have something _more_ to harp on him about. Kai really doesn't need that on top of everything else.

He convinces himself his heart isn't heavy with dread when he leaves for the evening meal. Why would he care? He doesn't.

He _doesn't_.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

So far, except for the usual exceedingly emotional greeting before the meal (consisting of his grandfather going "Kai." and Kai going "Grandfather."), dinner had been a quiet affair. It would almost feel like a normal, quiet meal, if his grandfather had stopped _staring at him while he ate_.

Kai refuses to look up and meet the man's stare, concentrating on eating... whatever he's eating right now. He can't tell; everything tastes like sand in his mouth. It's like his stomach is filled with lead; his throat is parched no matter how many times he takes a drink. The only thought running through Kai's mind is the same every _single_ time this happens --

_What the fuck am I doing wrong?_

It's the same routine since he's been twelve. Kai had, at first, tried to ask his grandfather why he was staring, and then when he was met with a simple leveled stare that made Kai feel like he was the dirt on his grandfather's _shoes_, tried to change his table manners. No dice. Eating less, eating more, Kai had tried _everything_ to make the man stop staring at him, stop _judging_ him. By now, he's given up, and simply tries to finish his meal without any... _incident_. During or after.

He can taste bile at the back of his throat at that thought and stabs at his food more viciously than he'd intended. _Don't start_, he tells his body (himself, really), _I don't care that he's watching me._

The Nile is a river in Egypt, and something Kai wishes he was better at in general. Somehow, he always has trouble believing himself when he really wants to.

"Kai," his grandfather's voice jolts him out of his thoughts, and he raises his head slowly to look at the man. "I think it's time we start talking about your future."

Kai doesn't react outwardly, but inside his knee-jerk rebelling reaction is to scream out _no_. He doesn't want someone else dictating his future. He hates having to follow orders, even though he can't do anything but when it comes to his grandfather. Because, more than anything, he wants -- He wants to make that man proud.

Love is the worst thing.

"I've told you before that you will inherit Hiwatari Corporation," his grandfather continues, and Kai nods, stiffly. He'd told him, alright. About fifty gajillion times. "I've let you do as you pleased for a long time now, but from now on I won't accept the kind of ridiculous behavior you've had in the past years. Last summer was an outrage, boy."

Kai frowns at his plate. He's also heard that one before. Repeatedly. "I've told you, grandfather--"

"_Whatever you do_ from this moment on," his grandfather continues as if Kai had never tried to interrupt him, his tone of voice growing firmer, as if speaking to a misbehaving _dog_ (this conversation is doing wonders for Kai's self-esteem, he can already tell), "Should not affect your education in any way. I don't want you to simply pass. I want you to _excel_, as a Hiwatari should. Don't waste your time in frivolities again. You're capable of great things, Kai. Stop disappointing me and prove it. Prove to the world that you deserve to carry the name Hiwatari. Together, we could achieve greatness, but only if you surpass yourself."

Kai is going to be sick. It doesn't matter how many times he's heard this speech. The point remains the same: he is still not good enough.

"Do you understand?" His grandfather finishes with flair, still staring at him.

"Yes, grandfather," Kai manages to grinds out. He's annoyed as much as he's-- disappointed? ashamed? He's never sure what he feels after this speech. It would probably hurt less if Kai himself didn't also want to surpass himself. To reach -- to reach _perfection_.

And if he keeps thinking about this, he really will be sick. His heart feels like it's stuck in his throat, threatening to come out in the most awkward of ways-- through his digestive system.

"I'm done," Kai announces, rising up from the table stiffly. His grandfather nods and waves him out.

Then he sighs. "That boy has his mother's character. So rebellious."

Kai doesn't notice, though; he's already out the door by then.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kai doesn't run to the nearest bathroom; it would be too obvious. Instead, he walks as fast as he can without turning it into a jog towards his bedroom -- or, more accurately, towards his own private bathroom.

Kai can tell the symptoms of nausea far too well for his own taste. He feels hot even though there are goose bumps on his skin, and soon enough he's going to gag-- he feels faint and knows, without needing to look, that his skin has taken a pallor to it that is not at all natural.

He closes the door to his bathroom behind him before kneeling in front of the toilet. He pants as he stares at the unmoving water, bracing himself on the seat. He can taste the bile at the back of his throat as he gags. Once. Twice.

The third time, he's regurgitating his entire meal. He coughs and chokes and _hates himself_ so much, so damn much, as his body rejects everything he'd ingested in the entire day until he can barely choke out some bile.

Kai would be lying if he said it didn't feel better now that the nausea was gone. He's left panting as he wipes at his mouth with his sleeve -- disgusting. At least nothing got in his hair. His shirt clings to his skin from how much he was sweating. Kai turns around and sits against the wall, huddled in the corner between the toilet and the bath as he always did after his "episodes". He flushes it without looking up and then lets the back of his head rest against the cool tile of the wall. It helps.

He closes his eyes as he works to undo the choker around his neck -- it's, well, _choking_ him. He should've taken it off before, but it was hard to think straight when all he wanted to do was cease to exist. He throws the damn thing at the other side of the bathroom, then moves on to undoing the top buttons of shirt with trembling hands. That done, he brings a knee up and wraps one arm around it. He hasn't been able to fit in the small space in fetus position for a while, but this is fine, too.

Kai spends the next few minutes just concentrating on his own breathing. In. Out. In. Out. In. He doesn't let himself think about anything else.

When the shaking has stopped, he raises himself up -- slowly. He can feel his head pounding. Just the way to end an already horrible day; a headache. He moves to the sink, slowly. He needs to get the taste of vomit out of his mouth.

It's only after he's scrubbed his entire mouth clean obsessively (he _really_ hates the taste of bile) that Kai finally looks in the mirror. He regrets it almost instantly.

His face paint is blurred all over his cheeks, and Kai looks at his sleeve and isn't surprised to find them blue. He always forgets that wiping at his face when it's wet is a terrible idea. His shirt is still drenched, sticking to him awkwardly; his hair is plastered on his face and neck with sweat, too. Kai washes off the face paint and ignores how ... _young_ he looks without it. Vulnerable, even. He doesn't know _why _he started wearing it, but his face feels naked without the paint.

All this isn't what bothers him, though. He feels -- and _looks_ -- pathetic, but he's used to the sight by now that he doesn't want to punch the mirror anymore, like he'd done the first two times. It had been awkward to explain to his grandfather. He raises his hand to touch the burn scar, all the way around his neck, right where his choker was.

Of all the things Kai wishes he remembered -- why and where he got that scar in particular is probably the one he wishes he'd remember most. Maybe then he could get away with not wearing something around his neck. Kai would be able to answer the questions people would ask. Not that he'd actually answer them, but --

Just having the answer himself would be nice.

...

But, as it stands, he doesn't, and he probably never will.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Kai skips the next day of school.

He hates November more each year.

* * *

You know, at this point in time I won't even bother with an excuse for how extremely effin' late this is, and just go "LIFE HAPPENED. REPEATEDLY. IN A FASHION I DIDN'T APPROVE OF." and leave it at that. (Seriously, I have a million and one reason for why this is so very late, but at this point no one cares.)

So, uh. Yes. This one is ... dry-humor funny at first, and then it dissolves into ANGST ANGST EMO ANGST because Kai has issues. The only important note I can think of for this chapter is: NO KAI IS NOT ANOREXIC/BULIMIC. Otherwise, the whole of it seems kind of... self-explanatory. TANGENT.

Honestly the easiest deal is if you have questions/critique just. Scream at me in your reviews? Seriously I just kind of winged it with this chapter. I have learned that the more you know what needs to happen in a chapter the more you get stuck trying to figure out HOW TO GET TO THAT POINT. /shakefist

Next chapter should come sooner than this one did now that I have gotten over that ... block or whatever! Also school is ending that helps. SO YEAH the next few chapters are pretty much one summer school, two/three ones with MAAAX... as the narrator. (To parallel the American tournament.) Then we get what I like to call the "Christmas Special."

So yes sorry for ... whatever I should be sorry for!

Hope you enjoyed it,

-Zia.


	11. Everyone's A Little Bit Crazypants Today

Takao wakes up the first time on Saturday at about 10am to the sweet, soothing sound of his grandfather practising his karaoke routine in the yard. "Sweet and soothing" here means, of course, "painful and earsplitting and the neighbors are currently forming a protest on their front yard and all the birds have left the country because of how awful and offensive this singing is". So it's with a deeply pained groan that Takao gets up, yells "SHUT UP, GRAMPS", closes his window with a force that nearly makes the entire dojo shake, falls back into his bed, rolls over and falls asleep again.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The _second_ time Takao wakes up on Saturday, it's 3pm and he is dying.

There is no exaggeration here; Takao is legitimately _dying_. In the five hours since he's closed his window, his room has turned into a furnace, and he is now both suffocating and sweating away all the fluids in his body (and the human body is made up of like, 50% water or something, right? So that is a LOT of fluid, and maybe it's more or less than that but shut up okay Takao failed ninth grade and _that included biology_) and as he mentioned he's dying?

He rolls out of bed pitifully and promptly remembers why he doesn't usually roll out of bed when he hits the floor with a painful **thud**. He is going to have bruises on top of dying from heat exhaustion. Takao learned last year that that was a real thing. He is _legitimately_ going to _die_ from _how hot he is_ and he will never have attained a high school level because summer is too hot and his grandpa can't sing and _his life sucks_.

Takao wallows in sorrow and his own sweat (_ugh_) for what feels like ages, partly because everything hurts and he is _dying_ no seriously he _is_, and partly because the floor is actually cool compared to everything else in what feels like the universe right now, and so Takao is totally okay with staying right there and never moving ever again. Ever. He loves this floor. He will marry this floor. He will make _floor babies_ with it and they will live _happily ever after_ in a country where it isn't a million degrees in summer like, uh, Russia or _something_. He-

He...

He is hungry.

Takao's groan is muffled due to his face still being pressed to his new-found love (the gloriously cool floor) but he is convinced his feelings about his sudden bout of hunger needing him to _move_ and _do things_ that _don't_ include lying there and never getting up ever again can still be felt from outer space. His feelings are horror and pain and disappointment and _maybe_ just a tad over-dramatic. _Maybe_.

It is with that knowledge that Takao finally turns around again and, with all the strength a dying teenager faced with heat exhaustion can possess, sits up. He stares blearily at his room to try and evaluate the distance between his current position and the door. He is horrified to realize it's like, _a whole five feet_ and he is going to _die_. Again. Or- for real.

… Whichever actually applies. He'll figure it out when he is no longer brain dead. (Maybe.)

But first, he will get up, eat, shower and feel alive again!

Takao stares at the door and flops back down.

In like, five minutes.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

It is only through sheer determination that Takao manages to get up in the next half hour, stuff a bread roll in his mouth and take a shower, all without actually throwing himself out the window, which seemed like a great idea when the concept of "getting up and doing things" first came up. All this done, however, he feels alive again, and ready to take on the day and accomplish … _stuff_. Stuff which includes, but is not limited to, all his chores, like watering the plants and practicing kendo and cutting the grass and going to buy milk because he totally chugged down the last gallon...

So of course Takao goes back to his room and opens his centuries old computer instead. What? He needs to check his e-mail. This is a very real responsibility; first off because the Chief is at Computer Camp, meaning he has access to the internet, second off because Max is in America and they have computers there (right?) and third off because the computer is the only way he still has contact to his dad and brother when they're off on their digs.

Even if his brother is a total ass and only ever acts like a jerk in his e-mail or the ever-so-rare video message. And his dad is kind of a spazz and forgets to send his other son anything more than an e-mail once every six months.

But Takao's not _bitter_ about it or anything. Nope. Completely bitter free over here.

… Okay, so he's _slightly_ bitter that his dad never really spends any time with him or contacts him in any way, and he totally misses when his brother wasn't a giant ass and actually _cared_ about him beyond trying to humiliate him (like everyone else in the universe), but it's not a big deal or anything. Sure, they're not the most perfect family, but Takao doesn't _mind_ living with his grandpa. Sure, the man is crazy and can't sing and he's embarrassing and he is, well, _crazy, _but he cares about Takao and he's cool with whatever he does. He doesn't lecture him about grades and how he could do better. He only ever gets on his case about being lazy, and even Takao can admit that one.

(Procrastination for the win.)

But anyway. The point is, Takao is fine with living with his grandpa, especially considering he is seemingly the only one in this family who cares about him in any consistent fashion.

Okay, so maybe he's more than _slightly_ bitter, but he's a teenager! He is allowed to be bitter about life, the universe, and _everything_. It's like the rules of teenagedom. "Thou shall be moody and sulky and yell about how you wanted vanilla, not chocolate, and I hate you dad".

… Or, you know, something like that. Takao has never actively yelled at his family members, so he wouldn't know. (Beyond yelling at his grandpa that he is ruining his life when he sings or wakes him up at four am, but that is totally true in those cases.)

Still, the point: Takao is going to check his e-mail. Once the computer finishes turning on, which should take another hour or so because that thing is _ancient_. He decides to use the opportunity to open his window. (Hurray for no longer suffocating!) There is a nice breeze outside now, and the birds who had previously fled the scene in horror are back, chirping softly. A cicada sings in the background,.

… Man, but that's annoying.

"Shut up, you stupid cicada," Takao yells out, scaring his poor neighbor. Again. "Nobody cares about you!"

The cicada, predictably, just continues its obnoxious noise. Takao is once more convinced everything in the entire universe hates him and wants him to suffer. He huffs and lets himself fall to his computer chair, spinning around twice before coming to a stop right in front of his fully-loaded computer. Oh yeah. He is _good_. Takao clicks triumphantly on the Internet icon and waits.

And waits.

And waaaaaiiits.

… And... waits...

He clicks again.

And waits.

And waits.

Aaaand-

He is going to throw this stupid computer out the window until it is dead and it never comes back and if he accidentally hits Kai or Tao on the way somehow it would just be _perfect_ thank you very much.

Just as Takao is actively looking back and forth between the computer and the window while being sorely tempted to _seriously_ throw it out and force his grandpa to buy a new one. One that does not date from, like, _1950_ when there were still _dinosaurs_ around, which is why the computer is so bulky because T-Rexes had like, huge heads and little arms and couldn't grab anything unless they were huge. Takao knows this because he watched Jurassic Park. Anyway. _Just_ as he gets up and starts to pick up the monitor, fully ready to break it and use the "dropped my computer" excuse, there is a soft ping as Takao's homepage (his _e-mail_ homepage) finally loads (twice, yeah okay shut up) and the voice of his dreams sounds out:

"You have four new messages."

Takao whoops in victory, dropping himself back to his seat and quickly checking his messages. There is one from Max with the header "Wish you were here (like you said you would be, Taka)" followed by a frowny face and an attachment (presumably pictures), one from the Chief with the header "Re: Computer Camp/Summer School" (seriously?), a spam mail telling him he can "get a bigger P3N15 now!" (… _seriously_?) and finally a message from his brother with the bizarre header "DAD- VIDEO- WATCH THIS PLZ".

It's mostly bizarre because Hitoshi _never_ says please to anything. Besides, his dad is usually the one who e-mails him his videos, and there's no attachment to this one. If this is just Hitoshi's sneaky way of sending him chain mail _again_, Takao is totally telling their dad. Somehow. Through e-mail the man will only check in five weeks. It will be a very belated revenge but it will still totally be a badass one. Even if it involves tattling. _Still_. He clicks the message from his brother first anyway, slightly curious now.

But seriously if it's a chain mail he is _killing_ Hitoshi, even if he has to enlist Kai to do it. Because Kai can probably kill people with his mind. He's freaky like that. How he'd enlist Kai's help is kind of a mystery, though. . .

The mail (_finally_, and maybe throwing the computer out the window isn't a totally stupid idea) loads. There's no chain mail, which is good, but there's no explanation either. Inside, there's only a link to Youtube. Siiince when does his dad have a youtube account? This is looking fishier and fishier. Ugh, Takao can just _smell_ the bad video. It's probably something gross, too, just because his brother is the worst brother ever and likes making fun of him for liking food. So he likes to eat! He's a growing boy! It's totally normal and seriously doesn't mean he deserves being sent a video of people _chain vomiting_!

So it's with a deeply set distrust that Takao clicks on the link. Though, for once, he's glad his computer is so stupidly slow- it means he has time to check out some things before the video loads. There will be no pranking him this time! Sucks to be you, Hitoshi! Takao chuckles evilly as he looks down at the comments. Nooo...thing?

Takao looks at the video and realizes that it's obviously set to private. Or friends only. Whatever. The header reads "MESSAGE FOR TAKAO". There are no related videos on the side, or even featured videos. This is... weird. And kind of impossible, isn't it? And, like, totally dramatic. And yet Takao can't help but gulp as he waits for it to load.

Of course the thing seems to load at a snail's pace, and Takao has to resist the urge to get up and scream injustice at the world as he waits with baited breath the entire time- well. Sort of. He can't actually hold his breath that long. He is a normal boy who totally needs to … you know... breathe... sometimes. Unlike Kai, who is probably a robot. Aaand _why_ is he thinking about Kai right now? He seriously needs to get his priorities checked. Summer school only starts back on Monday. He needs to concentrate on _the present_ before he depresses himself further.

Then, after what seems like _forever_ but was more likely about ten minutes, the video finishes loading and Takao presses play. His dad's face blocks the view for a few seconds before he sits back and lets Takao look at the beautiful background behind him. IE: an hotel room. Ha ha, Dad. Clever. That's one way to make sure Takao _never knows where his dad is ever_ uuugh. His dad clears his throat for a second.

"Is it on, Hitoshi?" he asks the camera, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. Takao does that, too. The notion totally _doesn't_ make warm fuzzies show up in his tummy. At all.

"Yeah, Dad. Stop stalling, this isn't the first time you've made a video." That voice is definitely his brother, who is apparently appointed cameraman this time. Takao's dad shuffles in place and laughs a bit, humorlessly.

"Right, you're right... Alright. Takao, by the time you see this video, you won't be able to contact us," his dad begins, and just as Takao begins to panic that _this is just like a horror movie oh my gosh_ someone is going to _kill_ his family members, Hitoshi's voice sounds out:

"Don't be so dramatic, you'll give the kid a heart attack. You know he watches too many horror movies," he drawls. Takao starts to objects loudly before remembering that this is a recording and, wherever he is, his asshole brother can't hear him. The jerk. Their dad laughs a little then, for real this time.

"And exactly who's fault is that. . . ?" Takao's dad comments before shaking his head and moving on, not giving Hitoshi the chance to talk. Which is good- Hitoshi _never_ shuts up if you don't stop him while he's ahead. Something that Takao would never do. Clearly. "Alright, listen carefully, son, please.

Your brother and I have been asked to do a job slightly different from the usual. It's not something I would accept, normally, no matter the pay, but I think this is... important enough to warrant forgoing my usual reticence on these things. –Meaning, I'm doing this because it's a big deal. I need you to keep this in mind, Takao, because what I'm about to say is probably going to upset you.

This job is going to take me and Hitoshi some place dangerous for a very long time. Because of this, we won't be able to contact you for a while. I know we said we were going to be there for your birthday; at the time I'm recording this message that would be in... a month? But I'm afraid that's not going to happen. I'm really sorry about this, son, but I'm sure grandpa and your friends will be happy to celebrate it with you. What we're going to do here is extremely important. Please believe me when I say if it wasn't, I wouldn't consider it. I don't want to sound dramatic, but the stakes are higher than you can possibly imagine."

"Dad," Hitoshi cuts him off with a warning tone. Their dad nods in understanding and clears his throat.

"Right. Uhm, the point is, we're really sorry, Takao, but you won't here from us for a very long time, maybe even a year. So, I- _we_ hope you have a nice birthday, and we wish you luck in high school. Make lots of friends, and try to get better grades, alright? And- trust me when I say all this time apart will be worth it in the grand scheme of things.

Have a great summer, son. You'll receive your birthday gift in the mail."

The video turns black. Takao's face is blank as he looks at the time. There's still about 10 seconds left.

His brother's face shows up on the screen. "Hey, kid- do me a favor? Stay away from Russians."

The video ends.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Takao decidedly doesn't spend the rest of the weekend moping and sulking. He also doesn't throw a tantrum right after the video ends, or call his father all sorts of names or make fun of him to his grandpa and anyone else who will listen, _including_ his mirror.

… Yeah, those are all pretty much a giant lie.

"Oooh, sooon, I'm sorry I'm a _horrible deadbeat dad_, who's _never around for anything_, but I'm an archeoooologiiiist, and I have to do important stuff like dig! In sand! For _bones_! Something that a _dog_ could do! Har har har! But Takaoooo, the fate of the WORLD depends on it! I would _never_ abandon you for no good reason, except for _all those other times I totally did_!"

All of Takao's pillows have been beaten to death, and he's fairly certain if they could feel, they would be suffering greatly right now. As it is, one of them has been ripped open and Takao has decided to use it to hit his monitor, causing an avalanche of feathers in his room. This is far from the first time he does this particular rant, but as he is still really, really mad every time something reminds him of his father, Takao has decided he is going to do it until he feels better.

Considering it's now Sunday, that might take a while.

"What does he mean, it's better in the grand scheme of things? Who does he think he is, Indiana Jones?" Takao rants, spitting out a mouthful of feathers from when he decided biting his pillow and trying to stretch it to inane proportions was a great idea (it wasn't). "You. Are. An. Archeologist! The most important discovery you can make is stuff that is _a billion years old_, and that won't change humanity as we know it!"

Thunder roars in the distance as dark, ominous clouds seem to wish to punctuate Takao's distaste of his _genetic dispenser_ (AKA: his dearest daddy) and he slams the window closed with a yell.

At first, his grandpa had tried to calm him down and make him feel better. It had worked for all of three minutes, before Takao had declared that he was going to throw an epic tantrum until he felt better. He'd advised his grandpa not to feel bad because none of it was directed at him. And now … here we are.

"And what was with Hitoshi's stupid advice? Stay away from Russians? What is he _on_ about? Communism ended like a _bazillion_ years ago, _genius_! There is no 'in Soviet Japan, Russians _kill_ you'!" Takao huffs out, letting himself fall on his bed. "Is it _so_ much to ask that for once in my life, something goes my way?"

Takao deflates after this and he sighs, moving his poor, mangled pillow to his face and mumbling in it: "I miss mom... _She_ liked me..."

He throws the pillow away from his face and spits out some feathers. Again. Okaaay, melodramatic confession muffled by his pillow: bad idea.

The thing is, Takao's not even that angry. He's disappointed, sure, but- but his dad _always_ does this. He hadn't really expected the guy to show up for his birthday. He's fine enough with visits now and then. Sure, it's not really orthodox, but it works for them. It's just... That video was just rubbing it in his face. Piling that on top of a, so far, _completely_ miserable summer, and Takao's has had it. It's the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.

. . . However that works. How much straw would you need to put on a camel's back for it to break? How heavy could straw even _be_ anyway?

There's another round of thunder, and the incoming storm outside reinvigorates him, suddenly. Takao leaps up from his bed and rushes downstairs to the entrance, hastily putting on and tying his running shoes.

"Hey, little dude- what're you doing?" Takao's grandpa asks, looking at him with a completely bewildered expression on his face.

"Going for a run!" Takao exclaims, and before his grandpa can do much more than squawk out a "_what_", rushes out and yells back at him: "I'll be back later, Gramps! Don't wait up for me!"

He ignores whatever else his grandpa yells after him; something about telling him to slow down and think about it, and the storm- because that is the entire _point_.

Seiryuu be his witness, Takao loves storms.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The thing with storms is, Takao isn't all that fond of the rain. Or the thunder. Or the lightning. What he really likes? Is the wind.

There's something about running while the wind nearly knocks him every which way that makes him forget about everything else. His dad, his brother, school troubles- everything just seems far away, like he's unattainable.

Possibly because Takao only ever does this in _extremely heavy_ storms, and when you're running because you're sure a tornado is going to pick you up and take you somewhere that is _definitely_ not Oz, you don't think about little problems like failing math.

So yeah, maybe Takao has a thing with suicidal urges.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Of course Takao's life sucks, and it doesn't take long before the downpours starts. He's barely at the bridge when it does. And since even he's not enough of a suicidal idiot to stay out in the open during an honest to Seiryuu _lightning storm_, he speeds up and moves towards the riverbank once he's passed the bridge, and quickly turns to head _under_ the bridge.

He is smart like that.

Takao's soaked when he comes to a stop, bent over in half as he tries to get his breathing under control. He's freezing, and maybe going for a run just before the storm wasn't a great idea, but he has forgotten all about his problems. Like, say, his dad, or his brother, or summer school, or Tao, or Kai.

Kai, who is half-sitting, half-lying on the wall of the bridge right next to Takao, soaked (but the storm just started?) and seemingly unconscious and _holy tapdancing Seiryuu on a cracker he is bleeding_.

Takao stops breathing for a second before he rushes to kneel next to the guy (right in mud_, _of course, because, let's reiterate: the universe hates him) and tries to assess the damage at the same time as he puts a hand on his shoulder and proceeds to shake him awake.

"Dude, Kai- wake up," Takao chokes out, and he's not sure why he's so worried considering he's not really _friends_ with the guy, but still. Kai cracks open an eye, blearily, and Takao is reassured to find out he really was only _seemingly_ unconscious.

". . . Kinomiya?" Kai asks, and he sounds as if he thinks this is one reaaaally weird nightmare. Which, well, Takao _wishes_. When he continues speaking, he sounds a bit more like himself. "It's Sunday. Quit stalking me."

Takao stares at Kai with the most deadpan expression he can muster. The guy looks like he was just ran over by a semi and he still has terrible (and mean) humor. Juuuust his luck.

Well, okay, maybe not a semi- Kai looks bad, sure, but not nearly as bad as Takao had first assumed. He has a few scuffle marks here and there, he's obviously going to have one _heck_ of a blind eye tomorrow and his wrist is bent at an angle that is pretty weird but not totally unnatural, but except for that the most dramatic thing is really the fact that his bangs and forehead are _matted with blood_.

Okay, so it's still pretty bad.

"You okay? What the heck happened to you?" Takao asks, quickly, when it looks like Kai is about to nod off- TV shows have told him that head injuries combined with sleeping equal … something... bad. Usually.

Look, shut up, he doesn't _like_ medical shows. They're boring.

"I fell," Kai deadpans, and Takao really, _really_ hates him right now. "Just leave me alone already. It's _fine_."

"Fine?" Takao splutters out, flailing. "You look like you decided to put your head in a _meat_ grinder!"

Okay, he might be exaggerating a little, but still. There is a lot of blood. Like... _a lot_.

"You should see the other guys," Kai mumbles and rolls his eyes as he says it, as if totally aware of how much of an unfunny cliché that is. "It's fine. Even minor head wounds bleed a lot."

Takao stares blankly at Kai. How does a kid their age know that? More importantly, _how_ did Kai get a head wound in the first place? He doesn't voice any of these questions, instead grabbing hold of Kai.

"At least let me look at it!" He protests, and the other boy doesn't even bother moving away or stopping him, only groans in annoyance. _That_ is really what makes Takao panic, even as Kai moves his bangs up and uses his scarf to wipe the excess blood.

… Ewww. Takao sincerely hopes he's got more than one scarf. Because otherwise: goodbye, swishy scarf.

The gash, it turns out, really isn't that big- it would probably require stitches (or, uh, maybe not- like Takao actually knows _anything_ about medicine), but all in all it's barely an inch or two in length.

"How'd it happen?" Takao hears himself ask in awe as he stares at it and resists the the urge to poke the bloody thing. It is gross and you don't _do_ that, Takao tells himself. Even if the scab will be _glorious_.

"Golf club to the head," Kai answers, perfectly straight faced.

Takao stares at Kai.

Kai stares back.

"... O...kaaay," Takao lets out. "We should probably get you to the nearest hospital ASAP before the brain damage _really_ sets in."

Kai responds by kicking him and Takao yelps in pure, unadulterated _pain_. That was _totally_ unwarranted!

"Why are you so violent!" Takao hisses out, scrambling backwards and holding his poor, damage knee.

Kai doesn't deign to answer, instead moving to sit against the wall properly as he lets his bloody once-grey-but-now-marroon bangs fall back on his forehead, which is once again gushing blood. He rips part of his scarf off and ties it around his head as Takao watches in fascination. Mostly because he could've used the whole scarf, but okay, sure, whatever, crazy person's choice.

"Why are you here?" Kai asks once his task is done and he looks totally ridiculous with that mock bandage.

"Uuuh, I could ask you the same question. . .?" Takao starts, but at the look Kai gives in he pouts and relents: "If I tell you, you have to go to the hospital!"

Okay, so he doesn't really relent, but _gushing head wound_. Kai throws him another look, this one clearly dictating what he thinks of Takao and everything he stands for.

"Do you honestly think I care enough about the answer to let you _bargain_ with me?"

… Fair enough. Well, fine, if Kai wants to die a _horrible bloody death_ under a _bridge_, far be it for Takao to stop him. He huffs in annoyance and ends up sitting against the wall next to the stubborn suicidal moron (_not himself_, for once, ha ha) because his previous position had him getting even more soaked, and he'd really like to avoid pneumonia in the middle of the summer. Kai grunts in protest and scoots as far away from Takao as possible while not getting up. Which is, like, a whole three inches away. Wooo.

"I went running and then it rained. Why are _you_ here?" Takao finally answers, crossing his arms petulantly. Kai looks at him strangely.

"It was raining earlier," he points out. Takao stares at him blankly, not really getting it. Kai stares back and simply wills him to get it. . . . Takao still doesn't. After a while, Kai sighs and rolls his eyes before explaining: "It only stopped raining for about ten minutes. It's been pouring on and off all _day_, Kinomiya."

Oh. Well.

That explains a lot.

Takao shrugs balefully and wills Kai to drop the subject. So he failed to notice rain even though he totally heard the thunder for... hours on end. It can happen to anyone!

Or, well, probably not, but that just means Takao is special. Not special as in special in the head, but special as in _above every other human being_. Yup. That is totally Takao. He is a different kind of being altogether.

Or something.

"Anywaaaay," Takao drawls out, eager to switch the subject away from dangerous topics- such as Takao's mental state or Kai's... anything that would mean he might kick Takao again. (The dude kicks _hard_, okay? And Takao has really sensitive... knees.) "While we're both here, soaked and miserable and kinda totally pathetic- don't hit me _it's true_- we should talk about … our project!"

Kai looks at the "ceiling" (which is really just the bottom of the bridge but whatever) like he might be heavily considering suicide. Or murder. More likely murder. Takao presses on quickly, undeterred (and kinda fearing for his life).

"You kinda ran off the other after I ran into … a million... doors- are you smirking is that your creepy, robotic way of laughing at me _you jerk_-" Takao wonders suddenly where his survival instincts have gone but feels like he doesn't actually care, mostly because Kai's smirk just widened when he said that, "_Anyway_, you ran off before we could talk about things! That we need to talk about!"

"Eloquent," Kai drawls.

"Shut up. I was going to mention all of this the other day, but then you went home for some reason. . ." Kai's face looks suddenly closed off, so Takao plows on to get back to the important part. "Look, next week, we can pick a subject- or, uh, well, I guess you can pick it, I don't really _care_- and then you can come over to my place. I have a computer we can type it all up on. Plus we can look things up because I've got this wonderful invention called _the internet_. It's new and exciting and doesn't require checking out books at the library."

Kai is looking at him now, just... _looking_, as if he's not sure what to make of Takao. Takao realizes with a jolt that he just asked the potential serial killer over to his place. More importantly, he realizes he doesn't really care. The guy gets into fights, has _lackeys_ (with bad haircuts), verbally and physically abuses him, and he invites him to his house. Okay, sure, whatever. It's totally only for the sake of his education, and not at all because he _likes_ the guy or anything. That would be crazy. He's a punk with an attitude who, again, physically and verbally abuses Takao.

. . . But it's not like he _dislikes_ him, either, and ooooh great Takao _is_ in fact, crazypants. Well. Fine. Whatever. He can totally make it work. Takao will _embrace_ his crazypantshood.

Besides, Kai isn't nearly as hazardous to Takao's health as Takao is on his own. (Case in point: _everything Takao does ever_.)

"So, what do you say?" Takao adds once the silence becomes uncomfortable and he really can't stand to be left alone with his own thoughts and self-revelation. The self-revelation that he is also a crazy person. Crap.

Kai shakes his head slightly, and just as Takao is about to take it as a "no what the heck are you on why would I ever associate myself with the likes of you I am King Kai hear me roar" (...okay maybe not that last part), he speaks:

"Fine. The sooner this is done, the better."

… Oh. Well. He agreed. Yay! Or, wait, is this a yay? On the one hand, yay they are going to do this stupid project. On the other hand, he just invited Kai over to his house after school. Possibly multiply. For the week that is his birthday.

. . .

Not yay.

"Great," Takao exclaims totally without nervous laughter at all _really_ (except for that part where that is, indeed, nervous "what have I done" laughter and Seiryuu help him he really _is_ a crazy person it is in his _genes_). "Well, we've both got the same opinion on that one."

He says this with far more confidence than he really feels, and Kai just rolls his eyes in answer. It seems the amount of words Kai is able to speak in one day has been surpassed. Which is great, really- Takao _honestly_ doesn't feel like having anymore conversation. He is totally, one hundred percent fine with keeping quiet and never speaking until the storm clears out. Yep.

…

…

"So, like, is it me or is Tao-sensei _totally_ drunk _and_ criminally insane?"

Kai groans.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

Takao ends up talking at Kai (not _to_- to implies Kai was listening after the first five minutes, and considering Kai stopped kicking him after that point and just turned pointedly away, he's fairly certain that wasn't the case) for the next two hours until the storm _finally_ lets up. When it does, Kai notifies him by kicking- _again_, and someone has really got to teach this boy a real, proper way to communicate with people, seriously. They part ways after crossing the bridge together, though Kai seriously looks like he is restraining himself from bloodily murdering Takao right there in the middle of the street. Takao tries to talk Kai into getting himself checked, but Kai simply removes the makeshift scarf-bandage from his head to show Takao that it has, at the very least, stopped bleeding, so it's fine. (That or he was contemplating using that stripe of material to _choke_ Takao, whichever. Hey, it's not like the guy _said_ anything, he just kind of stared at him. Viciously.)

So in the end, Takao walks back home on his own, probably with the beginning of a cold seeing as he sneezes fourteen times until he gets there, and for once he's _almost_ looking forward to school tomorrow. You know. As much as _anyone_ ever looks forward to school.

It's only after a speech from his grandpa, a meal, a shower and a good hour of having to clean up the feathery mess in his room that Takao realizes he hasn't thought about his dad since he saw Kai.

…

Uh.

Well.

There's that.

* * *

LOL HEY GUYS LOOK WHO'S ALIVE. (dodges flying objects)

Okay, so: I got kinda disinterested of both Beyblade and this fic, mixed with being really busy and this kind of awesome mini-breakdown/depression I had going on and THERE WE GO I NEVER UPDATED. This is what happens when the entire story is written in my head and I keep going BUT WHY DO I HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN WHY IS THERE NOT A MACHINE THAT DOES IT FOR ME. Anyway. This fic is, surprisingly enough, not abandoned! Mostly because I kept saying one day I would go back and continue it. And look! I did! SOMEONE BE PROUD OF ME.

(crickets)

Okay yeah fair enough. ANYWAY: this chapter. Uh. There is foreshadowing, a look into Takao's home life because _why not_, and I'm not even sure if this is as funny as usual but you know what I don't care it took me long enough to find a way to write this chapter without wanting to kill myself YOU ARE GETTING THIS AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY.

(crickets)

. . . :(

Next chapter (which will be out before 2012! and, if I have any say about it, before NEXT WEEK EVEN) is ~the American Tournament Arc~! Aka: Max! You are all excited, right?

(crickets)

... Is anyone even reading this fic anymore...

Hope you enjoyed it regardless (and sorry for the insane delay!),

-Zia

PS: The golf club thing really happened. It's not nearly as horrifyingly damaging as it looks! (Which was a good thing for my brother and I, because accidentally killing someone at the tender age of nine might have been mildly damaging for my psyche. Also, you know, my brother would be dead.)


	12. Optimism Is For Masochists

"Okay, you guys have got to be psyching us. There's no way I'm ever going to believe you're legitimate cops," Takao comments blankly, and Max really wishes that, for once, his friend would try to defuse the situation instead of aggravating it. Being in a police station is already bad enough, let's be honest here!

Wait, back up, what?

Let's rewind for a bit.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

There are three things Max is one hundred percent certain about in life.

First, defense is the best offence. No matter the situation or context it is applied in, this is basically a universal truth and Max's personal philosophy. It's also why he plays defense on the soccer team of their high school even though he's only a freshman. Also because soccer is awesome, even if it's called football in Japan. The point stands: it is far better to be on the defensive than the offensive. Always and forever.

Second, mayo is good on everything. Everything ever. Sweet stuff? Check. Sour stuff? Check. Salty stuff? Yes. Noodles? Hell to the effin' yes! It's simply the best thing there is in the world. American mayo, however, is kind of gross. He will and has fought people about this very subject. (Not seriously, because. Well, it's _mayo_. It is really not that big a deal! Except for its deliciousness.)

And lastly, Max's mother is a brilliant and hard-working scientist. She has done several things that will probably improve the overall quality of human life, and she loves her son and husband very much even though she lives in a completely different country. Max loves her just as much.

She is also kind of a terrible person.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

It all started on a Tuesday. The second Tuesday of November, to be precise.

Max is pretty okay with Tuesdays, usually. They're not that exciting; he doesn't have soccer practice but he works at the hobby shop instead, so they're not a day off. That's kind of lame, but at the same time Max likes helping out in the shop. Plus, he makes a quick buck (yen, _whatever_) when he's working there of his own free will instead of as punishment. Like, say, when he has been suspended for beating the crap out of another group of student.

(His dad has never let him forget that that's a thing that happened. He seems both horrified and proud about it. Tarou Mizuhara is kind of a total weirdo like that! Max loves it.)

As for Novembers, they are also kind of okay. He liked November a lot better when he still celebrated thanksgiving, for one. For another, it's close to exams time, so everyone is starting to study like crazy! Including Max, since unlike Taka he actually values his grades. But other than that, there's nothing noticeably _wrong_ with November.

So it's really quite a surprise when Max's world flips upside down during the class right before lunch on the second Tuesday of November.

Okay, he is being a bit overdramatic. It's just that it started a spiral into the descent of total stupidity that Max will later be _so grounded_ for; he might as well be dramatic in his retelling, right? It adds flair! And it's kind of fun, heh.

Oh, incidentally! The class right before lunch is the one Max shares with Kai, one-on-one. It's probably why Kai gets weirdly involved into this whole thing? Max likes to think it's also because Kai has started to think of them as friends subconsciously. It would be pretty great! Kai's kinda awesome, and he sure looks like he could use friends that aren't scared of him. That would make this entire venture seem not so bad! In the end, everything would have worked out for the better!

…

The truth is Max is something of an optimist. It's quite terrible, really.

Let's just get to the point.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"So you're saying I'm missing the other variable here, and that's why my formula is off?" Max asks Kai, once again probably ruining the other's plan to spend all class watching the window gloomily.

He's not sorry. There's only so much one can look at the courtyard before being bored to death. Besides, if Kai starts at least _fake_ working in class, maybe the teachers will stop looking so terrified when they pass his desk. It is super distracting in its hilarity.

"No, you just did the first part wrong," Kai clarifies with a look on his face Takao would probably qualify as 'murderous' (backed up by Rei and Chief, probably) but that Max just thinks looks kind of awkward. Like he has no idea how to interact with people in a social context that does not involve either fear or contempt.

It is both kind of cute and a bit hilarious. The thing is Kai is really brilliant with—well, most things, honestly! But sometimes that translates into them being so obvious to him that he has issues explaining the entire development, so if you don't get it after the first blunt response? He starts to frown and sounds more and more awkward until he gets frustrated and either shuts up or leaves. Max has deduced Kai is scary to most people because he combines an aloof attitude plus social ineptitude with a bad boy look and pretty epic fighting skills, resulting in him seeming unapproachable and terrifying to most.

But seriously, Max just thinks it's kind of cute and funny. And, okay, a bit sad.

"Oh—yeah, I think I see it now. Forgot to subtract the circumference! Wow, fail. Thanks, Kai, that was super helpful," Max answers him after perusing his equation, grinning.

"…," Kai responds eloquently before looking away with a jerk of his shoulder.

Okay, it's a lot sad.

Max's pseudo-psychological analysis is interrupted, however, by their teacher telling them all to settle down and get back to their assigned seats, as the principal wants to talk to them.

Eh? Principal Daitenji, doing a personal visit to a class? That's odd. He's kind of a really busy man, usually. What with being the principal of all the schools in Bey City.

What _is_ with that, anyway? Max is still mostly a foreigner, so he doesn't know if it's common in Japan, but it seems highly impractical. He'll have to ask his dad about it sometime.

Principal Daitenji enters the class with a smile, and he coughs to draw their attention even though everyone is already pretty much silent.

His visits are a really Big Deal around here. He's kind of the grandpa everyone wishes they had, so no one really disrespects him. Even Kai is sort of respectful.

He is only glancing out at the window out of the corner of his eyes instead of blatantly staring, for one.

"Ah, good day, class. I have exciting news to share with you!" Daitenji starts, immediately making everyone in class straighten in their seat in anticipation, glancing at each other and whispering in, well, excitement.

Max, for some reason, kind of has a foreboding feeling that the news will not be nearly as exciting as the whispers seem to imply. It's highly unlikely math will be cancelled forever, for one. Or that killer robots are attacking. Which is kind of unfortunate, because that would be _really_ exciting.

(The great thing about November is that everyone gets what Max has fondly dubbed Takaoitis and starts dreaming up the craziest scenarios at the brink of a hat in hopes exams will not come ever.)

Principal Daitenji coughs again to quieten the class. The sad thing is it _works_. "As some of you may be aware, we've been graced with the presence of some transfer students from America for the year on a special program," Daitenji continues and wait what? Since when? "The results have been greatly positive so far, so much so that we've now been graced with the presence of the scientist overseeing the program, and she'll be conducting all of her research right here in Bey City."

The principal pauses there, either for drama or because he's realized he's used "graced with the presence" twice in as many sentences, Max isn't sure. Mostly he's kind of stuck on the whole wait what aspect still. He had no idea any of that was going! Also _why_ would a scientist be overseeing a school program? And why is that supposed to be exciting?

Max turns to Kai to share his overall confusion with someone non-verbally. Kai has merely raised an eyebrow compared to Max's own overblown blink and tilted head, but it still counts.

"This means," Daitenji speaks again, undeterred by his overall lack of an expanded vocabulary and Max's general bewilderment, "that you kids now have the opportunity to participate in Dr. Tate's research alongside our transfer students. You're all encouraged to join one of our numerous sports teams and apply to be considered for the program. Those of you who will be accepted will gain not only extra credits, but also a scholarship of two hundred and fifty thousand yen, applicable to any school of your choosing!"

Wow that is like three thousand American dollars! That can pay a whole… half a semester at a university.

Wow education is not cheap.

Also, that's weird! Dr. Tate is what Max's mom goes by too. Talk about a weird coincidence.

But seriously, more important than all of that, they still have no idea what the program even _is_, except for possibly a bastard mix of athletics and science.

Sweet Genbu, the program is practically Max's _life_.

"For those of you who are interested, I'll leave the basic information with your teacher, and Doctor Judy Tate will hold a Q&A tomorrow at lunch in the auditorium. I'm afraid I have a lot of classes to announce this to still, so I'll leave you all to your maths. Good luck and good day, kids!"

Daitenji departs with a smile and a wave at the same time as the class starts bursting into excited and loud chatter.

"Oh my _God_," Max says out loud, completely slipping from Japanese, still gaping in shock at Daitenji's retreating back. No one hears him except Kai, who looks at him with a confused frown. Max doesn't bother explaining himself.

Because… holy _shit_, Doctor Judy Tate—that's Max's _mom_!

What is she doing in Japan?

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"What's your mom doing in Japan?" Takao asks the very same question plaguing Max during lunch.

They have, for once, forwent eating their lunches on the roof because, November weather being what it is, it is raining cats and dogs and possibly horses outside. Kai seemed to think this meant he could get away from them, but the combined forces of Takao, Max and Rei crowding him led to him being forcibly pushed towards the school library, where they are currently (illegally, woops) eating their lunches while actively working on their schoolwork.

By which Max obviously means gossiping about his mom while Kai looks like he really misses windows. And freedom.

Kai's own fault for being super mellow today! After the nightmare that was last week, he is practically begging for friendly harassment.

Plus, you know, he made friends with Takao. There's no saving him now.

(Max loves Taka, he is the best friend he could have hoped for when coming to Japan, but the boy is as pigheaded as they come. And more.)

"I have no idea, Taka," Max admits with what he hopes isn't the worryworrypanicsadface! tone he feels like using. Maybe she wanted to surprise him! "I feel really out of the loop. I guess the best I can hope for is to ask her tomorrow before or after the Q&A."

"Shouldn't she be staying with you and your dad?" Rei pipes up, and Max goes ha ha no inside a little, though he just smiles and shrugs on the outside. (His parents aren't divorced, or even separated. They are just… weirdly independent of each other 90% of the time, and then suddenly _way_ too affectionate, as if they realize oh right we're a couple! It's kind of. Awful and awkward, to be honest!)

"I have no clue! I think if she was she'd have told us in advance. She has a tendency to stay in her labs when she's really deep into her work, though."

An unhealthy tendency, but who is Max to judge? It's not like he hasn't sustained solely on caffeine and sugar for a stupid amount of time before.

(And not even for a good reason, too. Why anyone in the world would watch two seasons of Glee consecutively still baffles him. The show is kind of terrible and awful, full of clichés and whatnot, but _god_ it's addicting. And even when the songs are bad he can't help but sing along! Not that he remembers much of the episodes considering he watched them all in like a weekend.

Max is _really_ glad he has multiple friends and hobbies now.)

"Oh, yes, I've done the same thing a few times," the Chief adds with a nod, and everyone silently stares at him in question. "Haaa, I kind of set up a lab for myself in my parents' guest room—"

"Okay, bored now," Takao interrupts, and Max can't help but laugh a little. Taka is soooo bad. Chief just looks affronted. "In that case, just go to your mom's lab and talk to her there, Maxie!"

Everyone looks at him in shock. That was… actually a good suggestion. Why didn't _Max_ think of that? Takao squints at their openly gaping faces.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"We're just … surprised we didn't think of that ourselves," Rei answers diplomatically. Yeah, that sounds better than "gosh Taka we were shocked you had a good idea for once!", though Max still kind of wants to say it. Taka's funny when he flails. Anyway, there's a slight hitch in Takao's suggestion.

"Problem, though! I have no idea which lab my mom is working in. Or where it would even be, anyway. It doesn't _have_ to be located in Bey City, y'know."

"I can probably help with that," the Chief answers him, and pulls out his laptop and the information Max forgot to pick up from the teacher, wooooops. "I just need a few seconds to cross reference the reference address and Dr. Judy's name, and—"

Everyone waits with baited breath for the result of his research. Where could the lab possibly be located?

"Uhm, she's in the lab right next door," their youngest finishes nervously.

"That's… awfully convenient," Max offers.

Takao looks at him dubiously and Max shrugs. Well, what. It is!

"I didn't even know there _was_ a research facility next door to our high school," Rei comments, drawing a drawled 'same here' from Takao.

Honestly, neither did Max, but he's not about to go saying that out loud.

"It used to be an abandoned facility, actually," Chief expositions, "Generally considered to be, um, gang territory. They must have moved in and renovated everything without anyone noticing…?"

This is sounding fishier and fishier. Everyone stares at Kai to see if he has anything to add on the subject, seeing as he _was_ in a gang so he should at least know about said ex-abandoned building, but he doesn't look up from his book on . . . wait is he reading Takao's manga?

"We should go over there and investigate _right now_," Takao declares dramatically, breaking Max's train of thoughts with one of his terrible, terrible plans, oh my god no.

"What? Takao, we have class after this," the Chief objects. Rei and Max share a look to despair his sense of priorities. "Plus, we can't just _break into_ Dr. Judy's lab! We're not in an action movie!"

"What's more important, class or Max's relationship with his mom? Besides, I didn't say anything about _breaking in_, sheesh."

It's not necessarily a_ bad_ idea, and skipping a class or two isn't that terrible, to be fair… Max thinks about it and realizes with abject horror he is actually considering Takao's idea seriously. Uh-oh. … Well, why not. He _really_ wants to find out what his mom is up to.

"I'm with Taka on that one," and that shuts up all of Chief's objections right there. "Don't worry, it's not like we'll get in that much trouble even if we get caught. I'll just say I'm trying to see my mom. Being related to the head of the research probably gives me some immunity!"

"This is _such_ a bad idea," Chief gripes one last time, which basically means he's along for the ride.

"I think I'll go with you guys," Rei agrees. "I've met Dr. Tate this summer too, so that'll be two of us she knows. We can help diffuse anything that might come up."

Takao beams with barely contained excitement, which gives Max the impression he mostly suggested this venture to skip out on class. Fair enough! He turns to Kai, does a silent double-take at the fact that his manga has apparently been requisitioned, and just shakes his head and ignores it. "What about you, Kai?"

"And skip class?" Kai deadpans without looking up.

Everyone stares at him blankly except Max, who laughs. Kai is _such_ a riot. Rei throws him an amused look after that while Takao just sighs.

"Fine, whatever, be a wet blanket. We should be back before school ends anyway. Let's go!"

Kai turns a page of Takao's manga pointedly as they grab their stuff and start for the lab.

"And I want that back later!"

Pfft, those two.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

If there is one good thing to say about Judy Mizuhara, nee Tate, it's that she never does things halfway.

This is probably why, once they get to the research facility (an entire block away, a _bit_ further than "right next door" as previously advertised), that they are faced with what can only be the most ridiculous security ever seen in Bey City outside of television.

Okay, to be honest, that's not _that_ much of an accomplishment. Even the bank in Bey City has lousy security. The point still stands, though; the guards and security system are _not_ about to let them pass. They outright laughed when Max asked to see Dr. Judy Tate because she was his mother.

Which, rude!

Anyway. Sneaking past wasn't much of an option, seeing as there were alarms settled to fire off everywhere and probably like, hounds while they were at it.

(Max wastes about three minutes imagining his mother yelling "Release the hounds!" before it stops being funny.)

"I guess you'll have to wait until tomorrow," the Chief consoles him with a pat on the back. (Probably because he can't reach his shoulder.) Max reminds himself that hounds aren't funny when they're running after you.

"Ugh, this is so lame. We can never do anything awesome," Takao gripes. Everyone stares at him. "Also the whole thing with Max's mom, yeah, yeah, I haven't forgotten. Sheesh."

Max laughs it off, because, well—

"Taka's right, though. It is kinda lame."

Rei, who's been oddly quiet for a while, turns to look at him.

"On a scale of one to ten, how bummed out are you about it?"

Max blinks and as Takao and the Chief share a confused look.

"Huh?" he answers very eloquently.

"I've been observing security for a while, and these guys seem oddly concentrated over here," Rei starts, speaking lowly as he keeps an eye on the guards. "Is there an entrance at the back, Chief?"

The Chief snaps out of it with a blink and stammers, "Uhm, I haven't really looked, give me a second—"

A minute later, the Chief has a complete map of the building on his laptop and everyone is wondering when their friend became a hacker. Max thinks it's kind of awesome and also worrying. One rebel in their group is quite enough, thanks!

"This is the map available on the website for the research," he explains under the weight of everyone's stares, and they all seem oddly disappointed by that answer. "There's no entrance at the back. Why?"

Rei grins, quickly and sharply (Takao coughs out "kitty face" under his breath) and answers: "Let's just go check it out. I think I've got an idea."

For the hundredth time that day, they all share a look. They shrug and agree to go take a look. What can it hurt?

(Woops, that's totally jinx material! Max should remember to knock on wood soon.)

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

It's only when they're deep into the ventilation system that Max voices what can only be the absolute truth:

"This is a really bad idea."

"Oh, yeah, point that out when we're all face deep into each other's ass, Maxie, _super_ helpful," Takao deadpans, struggling to crawl ahead. It turns out ventilation systems are not as big as they appear. Or as sneaky, considering the noisy bangs they keep hearing.

Soooo unsubtle.

"Why did I ever agree to do this? This is completely illegal," the Chief whimpers in dismay. "We're going to get caught and I'll have a _criminal record_, guys, this is the worst idea you've ever had."

"At least we're not in alleys," Rei quips unhelpfully.

He has a lot less trouble than the rest of them, which is probably why he keeps chuckling at their struggles. And general despair, because well. It really kind of is totally illegal.

"Okay, we should be getting close to a drop off soon," he informs them after a few seconds, and stops abruptly.

Which of course causes a chain reaction and, well, Max is at least comforted by the fact that Rei has a nice cushy bottom for him to run into. He wonders if commenting on Rei's ass is appropriate at this time.

"_I hate you all_," Takao groans from behind Max.

This is kind of an awkward situation overall. Woops.

"Just give me a second, I'm trying to remove the vent here," comes the mumble from up front, and Max wishes he could tilt his head and see what was taking so long.

"Where did you even learn all of this?"

"Mao loves spy movies for some reason—okay, got it. Down we go, guys!"

Max files away that juicy bit of gossip for later and follows Rei down after he jumps. He manages to catch himself in a crouch and feels incredibly cool about it. He is a regular James Bond. Dana nanaaaaaa— it becomes a lot less cool when Takao also succeeds. Damn. It turns out dropping down from an air vent five feet onto the floor without crashing is not that great a skill. TV lied to him.

Too bad!

"I swear, if I ever hear _anyone_ mention sneaking through air vents ever again, I will punch them in the _throat_," Takao rants menacingly—

For all of five seconds, because then the Chief jumps down and drops right on him. Ouch.

"That must've hurt," Max comments as he takes in the whimpering and crushed form of his best friend. Rei sniggers quietly in the background for a few seconds before covering it up with a cough. "You both okay over there?"

"Oh gosh Takao I am _so sorry_! I concentrate on trying not to damage my laptop when I landed, so I forgot to look down! Are you okay?"

"_THE PAIN_," Takao wheezes miserably, "My ribs. My _everything_. It _hurts_."

Max tries and fails to not laugh.

"With the way he's whining, I think he'll be alright," Rei comments, the sniggers having died down but the grin on his face very obvious. He is positively _basking_ in schadenfreude, wow! "Come on, we should go if Max wants to find his mother _before_ we get caught."

Takao gives him the finger from his spot on the floor, totally ignoring the Chief's worried hovering. Max laughs and walks over to give him a hand, which he gladly takes.

"Alright, but I'm serious, next time anyone mentions sneaking into _whatever_, _someone_ is getting punched in the throat."

Nobody mentions that, considering how often Takao seems to be the butt-monkey of any and all situations, it will probably be him. They're not _that_ mean.

Besides, it's not like they're going to be illegally sneaking into any other building anytime soon.

Right?

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

It comes to light, after a few wild detours and sudden distractions ("Oooh, what's this do," thank you Takao and buttons), that they have no idea where they are going.

They really need to learn to plan things better. Woops. It's a wonder they haven't run into anyone by now out of sheer failure! They must be lucky.

"Let's just go back to school already," the Chief tries vainly as everyone peers at his laptop for some kind of clue as to where they should be heading next. "I'm sure someone has noticed our absence by now, and Kai is probably wondering what's taking us so long—"

"Hahaha _no_," Takao cuts him off. "Besides, there's no way I was stuck crawling around that air vent for no reason! I'm not getting out of here until Max got what he came for: a talk with his mom."

The silence following his declaration is partly because they all agree with him, and partly because they all realize how they are doing a ridiculous amount of work for something that _really_ shouldn't be that hard to get. And that could've waited a day.

Ha ha. Haha. Ha. Oops.

His mom is going to be either impressed by their determination as well as thankful that they have uncovered such a deep flaw in her security, or really mad that they broke into her lab. Max is going to hold on hope for the former. It never hurts to be optimistic!

"Can I mention something?" Rei asks, breaking the awkward silence as they look and their life and their choices. "According to this map, there's a lot of … sports court around and in the building."

"Huh?"

Rei points to something at the screen. "Look—here it says basketball court. Way over _there_ is a baseball court, there's a football one located there, a tennis one here—"

"There's no way this building is big enough to hold all of these," Takao objects, gesturing wildly around them for good measure. Max has to dodge his flailing before getting it in the face. Man! Takao is such a klutz.

"They're all on different stories," the Chief answers. "I hadn't noticed before because I didn't pay attention to the names, but… it's true. Most of what I thought had to be laboratories are just glorified gymnasiums!"

Curiouser and curiouser. Max takes a closer look himself and zooms into something completely different from the others. Huh?

"Hey, what's this? 'RCRR'? It's one of the big rooms too, but there's nothing else written there to identify it. It's right on the same level as us, too."

The other three turn to look at where he's pointing and then turn their gaze to each other, perplexed.

"That's _got_ to be where they do the big research," Takao decides. "There's nowhere else. We should go check it out! Bet your mom's over there, too."

"We should _go back to school_."

Everyone ignores the Chief.

"It's worth a shot," Max agrees with a grin. "Besides, we've come so far, we might as well get some info on this place while we're at it!"

"We keep going forward this way for a while, turn left two corridors down, turn right twice in a row and then another left and we should be there," Rei lists off, following the map with his finger. "We should get there in five to ten minutes, I think. It's closer to the front door than we are."

"I have a _really_ bad feeling about this, guys," the Chief continues.

Everyone keeps right on ignoring him.

"Okay, let's go!"

"—Wait, wait, at least don't go off without me if you're not going to listen!"

Man, they are the worst friends to the poor guy. Max'll have to make it up to him later. But for now: exploring!

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

_Meanwhile, elsewhere…_

"Mi-mister Hiwatari! Where are you going? Class isn't over yet!"

Kai looks at his life, looks at his choices, and wonders exactly _when_ he became a babysitter.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"You know, I'm surprised we haven't run into anyone yet," Max ponders aloud as they get closer to their "goal". It's true that it's odd—if this is supposed to be a research facility, where are all the scientists? The more Max thinks about everything that's happened so far, the weirder it seems.

"Everyone's on lunch break?" Takao guesses, walking with his arms crossed behind his head as he stares at the ceiling, looking almost… bored.

This is definitely the world's least exciting and most convenient break-in. Hmm.

"Well, let's hope it stays that way, 'cause we're almost there," Rei says, taking the last turn first and then abruptly moving back to behind the corner. "Spoke too soon—guys, _hide_. I saw a door open!"

They stare at each other and huddle the wall, pretending they are invisible. It's. Not working.

They are really bad at sneaking anywhere.

They can hear footsteps getting closer now, as well as voices. They strain to listen and stay very, _very_ quiet at the same time—years of practice listening in on his parents talking mean Max has an advantage at this. And, it turns out, a disadvantage.

"I think there was a bug in the security system earlier," he can hear a woman(?) say, "Everything was turned off for some reason. I fixed it, of course, but you should've really stayed in America, Judy. The facilities and equipment are _much_ better there."

_Judy_? That's his mom! Max freezes in place, ignoring the looks everyone is giving him. All he needs to do is listen a bit more, just to—just to make sure—

"True, but I _have_ been missing my favorite assistant," his mom says (_his mom_), and Max forgets everything else and bolts towards her.

He needs to know—he needs to see—to talk to—

"Mom!"

He barely hears the alarms blare when he trips over a mention sensor; he's too busy staring at his mom's shocked face while he runs towards her. Before he knows it, he's tackled to the floor from the opposite side, just in time to miss being _crushed to death_ by a heavy glass door.

What.

Also, ow, being tackled to your own safety hurts. His head bounced off the floor there.

The alarms are still blaring around them but all Max can see is his mom, on the other side, and he scrambles to get up and yells:

"Mom! Mom, I'm sorry, I just—Mom! Let us out! It's just me!"

"Kai, what the _fuck_?" Takao asks in the background, and Max realizes with a jolt that _that's_ who tackled him to safety. He'll have to thank him later, but for now—his mom needs to hear him out, he didn't—she can't leave them here, right?

He couldn't have screwed up that badly.

He sees the girl with his mom—because she's a girl, not a woman, just a young redhead with huge glasses he can vaguely remember seeing around school, what is _she_ doing here?—ask her something, and his mother answers, but he can't hear it, their voices are muddled through the glass door.

He can, however, see his mother shake her head and walk away at the same time security gets there. Followed by …

Cops.

Oh.

Crap.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"Do you _know_ this kid, Judy?" Emily asks her, and Judy pursues her lips as she stares at her son.

Oh, Max.

"It's not important for now," Judy answers, turning away. "Go back to your research, please. I've got a phone call of a more… personal nature to make."

She needs to have _words_ with Tarou Mizuhara right now. Amongst other things.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The evidence against them all is overwhelming, so it's not long before they're hauled up all four of them in the back of a police car. It turns out they were patrolling around the area, hence their quick response time.

Guess they weren't so lucky after all, Max thinks bleakly.

"Oh god oh god oh god," Chief whimpers in a mantra, just like he has since they put handcuffs on the lot of them. Takao complained it was overkill. Rei told them he wouldn't talk until they provided them with a lawyer, and the cops told him to stop watching so many American movies.

Max is pretending he isn't caught in a spiral of self-hatred for disappointing his mom and bringing all his friends into it. He is not succeeding very well so far.

As usual when something awful happens, they concentrate their attention on Kai.

"Thanks," Max manages a few minutes into the car ride. "For, well, saving me."

Kai doesn't answer, but he hasn't spoken since the cops got there. Oddly, he's the only one they bothered putting the handcuffs on _behind_ his back. It must be uncomfortable.

"Yeah, speaking of that," Takao pipes up, because unlike the Chief's panic, Rei and Kai's distrustful silence and Max's semi-depression induced silence, he has _not_ shut up or stopped complaining since they got hauled away. "How did you even get there so fast? Or just get there in general?"

Kai shrugs. "I walked through the front door."

Everyone ponders that for a few seconds and then just stare at him incredulously. The two cops up front share a look before concentrating on the road again.

"So, wait, are you saying you didn't do anything illegal, or—but then there's—NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE," Takao flails. Rei gets a handcuff to the head and glares at him, trying to scoot away.

"Please keep it down back there," cop number 2 (Max didn't look at their badges, being otherwise… distracted), "Everything you do in this car can and will be held against you."

Takao blows them a raspberry for their trouble, and Max manages a smile.

"Okay, for once in your life, would it kill you to tell us the entire story? You kind of skipped class to come save our butts, how did you even know where we were?"

"I've skipped class for stupider reasons," Kai answers.

"That is not the point stop being obtuse on purpose you jerk—" Takao cuts himself off suddenly and stares blankly as Kai starts to move from his spot next to the window, lifting his legs up. "Whaaaaat are you doing now."

His question is answered when, after some minor struggling and some shoulder movements Max can attest are both gross and probably not healthy (seeing as he is sitting next to Kai and can see his bones move _weirdly_ and all that), Kai triumphantly brings his handcuffed hands in front of him and leans against the car seat more comfortably.

Contortionist too now! Okay Kai. Be whatever you want.

"OH COME ON," Takao gestures again, much to Rei and the Chief's chagrin, probably objecting to … uh, the entire scenario, honestly. "That is just—you're just—THERE IS NO WAY ANYONE CAN BE THAT TALENTED AT EVERYTHING."

"We said _shut up_," Cop number 1 bites out, and Takao flips him the finger. Twice.

Yeah, that's going on his criminal record.

"Kai, I swear—can't you at least wait until we can't _see_ you to do that," Cop number 2 mumbles in the silence. Max guesses they weren't meant to hear that, but seeing as they all suddenly shut up, they do.

And stare at Kai once again.

"I was the leader of a street gang," Kai deadpans.

Okay. Point.

"I hate everything," Takao grounds out.

Max kind of agrees, for once.

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

The rest of the police ride is spent in silence (yay), until they arrive at the station. The reaction once they get there is… unexpected.

"Friggin'—I toldja assholes, I didn't wanna see the mug of that kid unless you had actual legit proof so I could dump his ass in juvie," the police chief greets them with a gruff tone of voice, gesturing at Kai, who simply stares back.

What a magnificently clichéd man.

"Sorry, sir," cop number 2 mumbles, "But these guys broke into the lab next to the school, so—"

"Don't wanna look bad in front of Americans? Buncha pussies, th'both of ya."

Cop number one flips off his boss.

"Okay, you guys have got to be psyching us. There's no way I'm ever going to believe you're legitimate cops," Takao comments blankly.

(And that's how they got there.)

"Listen here, punk, m'the boss 'round here," the guy turns on him. "You know what? Breaking and entering, that's a full night in jail. You'll be wanting to call your parents if you want some bail money."

Max really, really wishes Takao would learn to keep his mouth shut. The Chief whimpers and Rei winces yet tries to hide it, glaring defiantly at the cops. It's obviously up to Max to defuse the situation.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Whaddaya want, punk?"

Seriously? This is like a scene out of a bad movie. Max schools his face into a sheepish smile. "Um, the thing is, the scientist in charge of that place—Dr Tate? She's my mother. I wanted to surprise her, so we sneaked into the building, but…" But she saw us and completely ignored me. "But we got caught before I could see her. It was a stupid idea, but this is all just a misunderstanding. And my fault, to boot. Could you let us go? I promise we won't do it again."

The cop looks at him for a long while before snorting.

"I've gotta admit, you've got a pretty good lying face, kid." Max winces pre-emptively. "But the reports indicate your so-called mom was on the scene, and she didn't do anythin' to stop it. So nice try, but no cigar. Now get in the slammer, the lot o' ya. I got better things to do."

Max deflates, looking at his shoes in shame. She … didn't. He's right.

He feels a hand on his shoulder and turns, expecting to see Rei, but instead it's Kai, who gives him a look Max can't interpret before stepping in front of him.

Rei's hand was extended to seemingly do the same thing, so Max feels a bit better about that expectation fail. They share a confused look and shrug. Takao looks at Kai apprehensively.

"Shows over, Officer. If you hadn't noticed, these guys are with me," Kai starts, cockily gesturing behind him with a nod of his head. "And I'm going to go ahead and guess the lab hasn't asked to press charges against any of us?"

There's a tense silence that follows his question. Cop number 2 shrugs awkwardly in answer to the look her commanding officer gives her.

"They actually called the station to ask us to release the kids without further charges. They did ask to write it in our records, said they'd call their parents to inform them of what they did, and—"

"That's what I thought," Kai interrupts with a smirk. "So how about you take the handcuffs off and we leave, before _I_ call my "parent" about the so-called bail you want us to pay."

Max stares at both of them blankly. His mom called? But then why didn't she—

He doesn't understand.

The officer in command swears loudly.

"Okay, seriously, _how_ are any of you in the police," Takao complains.

The chief ignores him.

"I'll do a write-up on your records, alright. I'm taking all your names and then you'll get the hell out of my station. But I swear, I catch any of you at it again and you won't get away that easy."

"Um, sir—" police officer number 2 starts again, unsure, "There was a condition so they wouldn't have further charges pressed against them…?"

Everyone turns to stare at her. Max has a really bad feeling about this.

"Spit it out."

"Uhm, well… Dr Tate asked that Kai, um, I mean, Hiwatari—"

Kai tenses and narrows his eyes at her, and Max continues to not get anything that is going on here.

How did his life get like this?

"Get to the point, Major, before I sack you for incompetence."

"She said Kai had to participate in her research program," the Major (woops!) finishes in a rush, an angry flush to her cheeks as she stares at her commanding officer.

What.

"What," Kai repeats Max's thoughts. The major turns to him and explains patiently:

"She said she'd tell you the details of your participation when you come see her at six tonight. She was very adamant about it, and told us to consider it community service? I'm honestly not sure about the legality of any of it, but—"

"There you go, issue resolved," the, like Takao just unsubtly coughed out, Worst Chief Of Police Ever deadpans with a smirk. "Now let's get your names and get you out of here."

"_Not interested_," Kai snarls.

"I thought that was what you wanted, Hiwatari? Or you can go ahead and call your grandfather to pay for bail. Sure he'd _love it_."

Kai flinches and glares at him before throwing a look at the major who simply looks back apologetically.

Max is completely lost, for his part. A quick glance at the others shows that they also don't get anything.

What's his mom _getting_ out of all of this?

"That's what I thought."

Seriously! Why is no one answering his questions?

~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~

"So, what have we learned today, kids?" Kai deadpans once they're finally let free.

The four of them share a look and can't even contain their snickers.

(Max apologized fifty times for his mom and, really, _everything_, while they were deep in the process of getting a criminal record. (Well, some of them—it turns out Takao has a few previous minor offences already! The Chief spent the entire time with his head in his hands, so it was up to Rei to comment that they really, didn't want to know.) Around the fiftieth, Kai finally snapped back that his issue was with Max's mother, so would he please _shut up_.

Max decided to take that as forgiveness.)

"Next time we sneak into a building, check out the security _before_hand?" Rei tries with a smile.

"Never listen to any of Takao or Rei's idea, _ever_," the Chief groans.

"When we're in trouble, you're always there to save the day?" Max jokes half-heartedly.

Kai's answer to that is clear and blunt: "I am not _anyone's_ babysitter. Next time, you can drown in your own troubles."

It's a testament to how long a day it's been that they all laugh.

"Maxie's mom is kind of a terrible person," Takao deadpans after.

"_Takao_!" Rei and the Chief snap at him. Kai turns his head slightly towards them, watching Max from the corner of his eyes.

There's a tense silence between them before Max can't help but laugh. They all stare at him in bewilderment.

"Taka… Thanks," Max tells him with a slap to the back. "You're right. She kind of is. I mean, I know I should be grateful she didn't press charges, but…"

"I'm pretty sure _my_ guardian would've laughed it off with a weird metaphor, but like I've said before—special case," Rei comments with a chuckle. Kai looks at him weirdly at that. "I do think she's not quite acting as a parent should right now, though…"

Max smiles tightly. "That's not … really what's bothering me. It's this whole—lack of communication thing. Plus blackmailing Kai into being a test subject. That's kind of awful."

"I wonder why she wanted Kai in particular," Takao muses aloud. "It can't be for his awesome people skills, that's for sure."

Kai flips him off as everyone laughs. They are _so_ tired.

"I don't know. It'd be easier to know if we even knew what Mom's research consisted of."

"Wait—I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier!" Chief bursts out. "I went on the website and didn't even think to check the General Information tab!"

Do researches usually have general information tabs? You know what? Max doesn't even care anymore.

"Guess we were all distracted," Rei muses. "It didn't cross my mind either."

Max and Takao nod in acquiescence. The look Kai is giving the lot of them says that he is judging them. A lot.

Yeah, this entire thing could've been avoided if they hadn't apparently been holding an idiot ball.

Max is so going to ignore that when he's explaining things to his Dad.

(Oh sweet Genbu they are_ so_ grounded, aren't they?)

The four of them ignore how dumb they were (and Kai's judgmental looks), crowding around as the Chief loads up his computer. They hold their breath in anticipation to the answer of at least one (1!) of today's mysteries. The tab starts to load and…

The screen suddenly turns pitch black.

"Ah. My battery died. …Sorry."

Takao facepalms. Max hides his face in his hands. Rei shakes his head in despair.

Kai sighs judgmentally at them before taking something out of his pocket and thrusting it in their direction.

"What's that?"

"One of those information pamphlets they were handing out all day. I brought it to the research center and pretended I had questions about it to be let in."

Everyone stares at Kai.

His badass points just dropped like twenty because it turns out he really _did_ just walk in. His logic skills however boosted like fifty gajillion points up.

Why… didn't they think of that…?

"So they let you in?" Takao is the first to get over it, possibly because Taka is used to being dumb.

… What, he is.

"No," Kai answers bluntly. "They said the Q&A was tomorrow. So I slipped past them."

Wait, nevermind, his badass points are also off the charts. That is so unfair.

"They saw me going in, so they started to follow after that and called for back-up. I was considering going back and forgetting about it when I heard Mizuhara," he finishes with a shrug.

And noticed him about to be crushed by a door so he tackled him. Well. That explains a few things.

"Why did you even go after us in the first place?" Rei asks the last Very Important Question of the day that isn't answered in a shiny pamphlet Kai is holding.

And by shiny Max means awfully designed. That is one ugly pamphlet.

Kai frowns and doesn't answer for a while, staring at the sidewalk instead of any of them. Could it be Kai doesn't even know himself and that in actuality he has started to _care _about them but doesn't want to admit it?

"Does it matter? Just read the stupid pamphlet and be glad I was here to save your sorry asses," Kai answers doggedly.

Oh my God it's true. That is ridiculously adorable and sad. Takao narrows his eyes at Kai and opens his mouth—

"Give it here, Taka," Max interrupts him, which he justifies by the fact that Taka was most likely about to make a comment that would probably make Kai uncomfortable and awkward enough to leave, thereby ruining whatever progress they had made today as friends. Takao glares at him suspiciously but does, shrugging afterwards and letting the entire thing go.

"Did you read it?" Rei asks Kai as Max stares at the picture on the cover for a few awkward seconds.

That picture of his mom is _so_ photoshopped.

"No. I have no interest in whatever they're doing."

Wow that is some ugly font usage.

"So what're you gonna do, tough guy? Go to Max's mom and go 'thanks, but not interested'? I don't think that'll work, somehow."

Who put these photos together? If Max didn't know his mom was a legitimate researcher, he would be very wary of going through with this "program".

"What I do about it is my business. It has nothing to do to with you, Kinomiya."

And when will these guys shut up so Max can dramatically announce what the research is about? So rude!

Rei nudges him with his elbow to look at him in question. At least Rei noticed, geez.

"No, but since it has to do with _Maxie_, I think he deserves the right to know! And by extension, me! 'Cause we're best buddies, and that's what buddies do."

Max looks up from the pamphlet at that, just to make sure everyone is appropriately judging Taka for that comment.

"Also I'm curious _stop looking at me like that_."

Good.

"Guys, I think Max is waiting on us to shut up so he can tell us what the research is about," the Chief finally points out.

"Just a little bit! It's not like it's a big deal or anything," Max answers with a laugh.

It is. It is a huge deal. In an awful pamphlet. But Max can tell the guys aren't as interested as he is. Or as moderately dramatic right now.

(There's a reason he doesn't want to open it on his own.)

"Okay, shoot, Maxie."

He opens the pamphlet, and…

Later that evening, Max and his father—

Ha ha ha just kidding no one is that mean.

"I … have no idea what the research is about," Max declares after a few minutes of perusing the pamphlet to tense silence.

Max will have to tell his mom to fire her advertising team. Do researchers usually _get_ advertising teams? Probably not.

That… explains a lot, actually.

"Can you tell us what the pamphlet says, exactly?"

"Basically, that if you have good grades and belong to a sports program, you can get the chance to test… something? To check … something? It's really vague."

"Are you certain Judy is your mother? You certainly don't seem to share her intellect," a voice pipes up from further away. The boys all swivel around in surprise.

It's the redhead that was with his mom! Max… has no idea what her name is!

"Ah! Emily!" the Chief gasps in surprise

The Chief apparently knows! Okay then. Let's concentrate on the fact that she insulted him.

"Excuse me?"

Emily waves briefly at the Chief before staring at him judgmentally.

"You heard me. That you still don't know what your mother is working on is simply pathetic. No wonder she pretended not to know you earlier."

Max flinches. That… that hits a bit too close to home.

"Hey! Who are you to talk to him like that?" Takao objects, taking a step in front of Max.

"Judy's main assistant. I'm Emily York. I've been working with Judy for a few years now," Emily answers smugly. "I'm on a transfer to Bey High for a year as part of Judy's research."

Everyone stares at her blankly. Takao scoffs.

"Yeaaah that still doesn't give you the right to be rude, Miss Know-It-All."

"And I'm sure the opinion of a summer school student matters to me _so _much."

"HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW THAT," Takao objects. Loudly.

He has a point there.

"Alright—enough. Look, Emily, I don't know what you have against me, but I'm sure you didn't come here _just_ to antagonize us. Can you please just go ahead and tell us what you wanted so we can all just … go back home? We've had a long day," Max tries to negotiate.

"I'm sure being arrested is very stressful, yes," Emily answers him snidely.

"Max might have been polite with you, but the rest of us don't _have_ to," Rei warns her.

"Can we please not fight with everyone we meet?" the Chief asks nervously. "Emily and I are lab partners, and I'd like for that to still be possible."

"Tell that to _her_," Takao grinds out.

"I could say the same to you boys."

Kai steps up with an aggravated sigh and crosses his arms, staring her down.

"Enough. Either spill it or go."

Let it never be said that having Kai on their side isn't kind of awesome, sometimes. (Most times.) Emily pursues her lips and stares at him warily before smiling coldly.

"Fine," she tells him, her tone of voice oddly sweet, "I suppose the least I could do is answer our new favorite test subject."

Max, Rei and Takao all pre-emptively either step in front of Kai or put a hand on him to calm him down. He looks at them like they've kicked his puppy and steps back.

Oh, right, the whole "my personal space!" issue. Woops.

He does sneer at Emily, though, so their fear wasn't _totally_ unwarranted.

"It's simple, really. We're testing a solution that will improve brain functions and muscle functions. Our subjects need to be out on some kind of field. Everything has been successful so far, we just need to test it on a wider variety of people."

… What.

"So, wait," the Chief is the first to mention, "Does that mean—you and Dr. Tate are planning to make _super soldiers_?"

Emily looks at him with a sneer. "Don't be ridiculous. We're trying to improve the general quality of living for everyone. Who ever heard of _super soldier_? This isn't science fiction, you know. And don't worry, Kai. You won't be taking the solution," she adds, Kai looking at her warily. "Going by your general tests scores—when you _do_ take them—and the physical capabilities you've shown over time, you're a perfect comparison point for us. Consider yourself the normal mice amidst all the other lab rats."

Somehow, Kai doesn't sound very reassured. Neither do the rest of them.

"Judy herself was going to ask you via your principal for your participation, but your little escapade earlier means you get no choice. Really, your overall failure was a pretty big win for us."

She grins at them and salutes them with her tennis racket (wow, Max hadn't noticed that before) before leaving.

"I'll see you in school, boys."

Max takes back what he said earlier.

It turns out? He hates November.

Judging from everyone else's faces, so do they.

* * *

OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS ZIA IS UPDATING HER FIC?

I did say it would be before 2012. Yes. This is cutting it close but shut up okay my computer broke. ):

FUN FACT: the original draft for this chapter was a lot less surreal. But then I thought about it long and hard and realized it was also boring. And hard to write. The truth is, the American tournament can be summed up in one thing: lol Max has issues with his mom. Nooot the most exciting premise. So I decided to tie this in with a later plotline instead! (SPOILERS? woops)

This arc is now subtitled MAX AND KAI BOND in my notes. (I keep those notes on my cellphone because my computers always break. Always.) So anyway it took LESS THAN A YEAR be proud of me?

HAHAHA who is even reading this anymore.

No one. That is who.

Hope you enjoyed it anyway,

-Zia.

PS: seriously the entire note for this arc before I spent ages coming up with a ridiculous plotline was MAX HAS ISSUES... WITH HIS MOM? ALSO I GUESS KAI HELPS? Comparing this to other arcs made it super sad. So you are getting this and you are going to ... forgive me for it being so sucky hahaha (sobs)

I'm so sorry

(next up: Happy Birthday Takao Here Your Present Is Kai, which MIGHT ALSO COME BEFORE 2012? yes let's go with that baseless hope)


	13. Shut Up Is Not Actually A Valid Comeback

So here's the thing: Takao's birthday is on Wednesday. It is currently one dreary Monday morning—okay, no, it's sunny and bright out but shut _up_, that just serves to depress Takao more and he has decided he's going to be in denial of anything that would normally equal to _happiness_ and _joy_ if he didn't have it wasn't for him having to go to _school_ for the rest of the summer, so there. _Anyway_, it's a dreary and grey Monday morning (shut up) and Takao has exactly 48 hours to find a way to make it so that on Wednesday afternoon, the evening of his birthday, Kai Hiwatari does not end up in his house so they can work on a _school project_. Really, it's a dreadful scenario all around. As in, for both Kai _and_ himself. He's basically doing the guy a favor!

No one should ever have to taste Gramps's cake. _No one_.

Okay, mostly he doesn't want to work on something _school _related on his birthday, especially not with _Kai_. The guy always looks two seconds away for murdering him, and shock: Takao does not actually want to die that much. Or that often.

Or at least not on his birthday okay shut up. Shut up. _Shut up!_

"Hey little dude, you gonna be screaming at yourself all morning or are you gonna head out to class already?" Takao's grandpa interrupts his thoughts.

Woops. He has _got_ to stop thinking aloud.

"In a _minute_, gramps! Can't you see I'm busy? I'm in the middle of a _personal crisis_ here!" Takao yells back, because. You know. It's true! It is a matter of life and _death_. Or, more accurately, it's a matter of life and _working on his birthday_. It's a totally _heinous_ concept. … Man Takao hopes heinous means awful. It would be so awkward if it ended up meaning like, "awesome and exciting!" or something. Regardless! Takao _needs_ to come up with a plan ASAP, before he suddenly wakes up on Wednesday and yells OH NO I DID ABSOLUTELY _NOTHING_ and then his birthday is _ruined_. _Forever_. (Or, well. Ruined more than it already is.

Thank you, absent friends and family. Thank you. You are the light of Takao's _empty and miserable_ life.)

Takao looks shiftily around him as he contemplates that possibility. If this was a bad story, this would be the moment where the scene would cut abruptly and he'd wake up on Wednesday having done nothing and screaming what he'd just considered the absolute worst case scenario. Luckily for Takao, his life is _not_ a bad story, so that's not gonna happen.

Probably a mediocre one though.

Boo to that thought. Just because Takao's life isn't _exciting_ and that he has accomplished all of _nothing_ in his life (except, apparently, being the stupidest student in all of Bey City, which it turns out is _not an accomplishment at all_) doesn't mean his life would be a mediocre story. Why, Kai and Tao's presence probably make it a …

A terrible one.

Takao hates his life.

"Stop contemplating your life and get moving before you're late, yo! Otherwise it's another three hours of practice after school!"

Oh god no.

"_Alright,_ alright, I'm going! Way to be a _dictator_, gramps, sheesh! It's not like the teacher even _realizes_ I'm there or not, which is kind of magic and _awful_, considering there's only _two of us_ in there!" Takao yells back, hastily putting his cap on his head and grabbing his backpack. Uuuugh. Heavy. He wrenches open his bedroom door and screams in terror when he comes face to face with his grandpa's shinai.

Why is everyone determined to kill him?

"Keep the stories for the kids, T-man, and get going!" Gramps threatens him and Takao just. Stares.

Here is the scoop: his grandpa doesn't believe any of the things Takao has told him about summer school yet. He thinks he's exaggerating, which is totally insulting. Like Takao would _ever_ exaggerate about _anything_.

All examples of Takao exaggerating will be hereby removed from everyone's collective memories, past, present and future. Shut up. It's not like a little drama has ever killed anybody. Unlike _blatant distrust_. What if a vampire attacks and Gramps thinks Takao is crazy and ignores him like all the parents do in horror movies? And _why_ does no one ever believe the kids in those movies anyway? You'd think someone would be genre savvy enough to go "okay everyone go in the van we're getting the heck out of here". Yes. Gramps should be that guy. Girl. Person. _Then_ he'd believe Takao when he said the truth, even if it sounds a little far-fetched and stupid. Takao admits it himself! Being only two students in summer school, with a tiny insane and drunk teacher is kind of ridiculous. Like, a lot ridiculous. But does that mean his grandfather should be totally dubious about it? No!

What is so ridiculous about all that anyway, Takao's grandfather likes to rap in his spare time. He should have no trouble whatsoever having a little suspension of disbelief. Takao basically has to _live_ on suspension of disbelief, since his life is _ridiculous_ and _makes no sense_.

Takao is starting to think the word ridiculous holds no meaning but Seiryuu knows it is incredibly fun to say. Heh.

Takao is suddenly brought out of his reverie by a sharp whack against his head that sends him reeling to the floor.

_The pain_. The absolute _pain_.

"Why," Takao bemoans to no one in particular, "Why is everyone around me so _violent_."

"You're dreaming wide-awake! I had to get your head back from the clouds!" Grandpa tells him, all the while gesturing with his shinai, AKA his object of absolute _evil_. Takao glares at it warily before getting up.

"This is _child abuse_, you know," Takao declares dramatically.

Grandpa points at him with the shinai and Takao jumps about three feet backwards. That is just proving his point!

"Nonsense. It's called 'tough love' for a reason! Now stop dallying and get your butt to school!"

Why is he so hard on Takao to go to school? It's not like it can be _that_ late, right? A glance at the clock tells him it totally is. Damn it, he's gonna have to run all the way to school now! What did he waste so much time on anyway?

Oh right, trying to find a plan to keep Kai from coming over Wednesday. … DAMN IT.

Whatever, Takao thinks as he runs out the door with a piece of bread in his mouth (breakfast of … very late champions), he'll think of something during class. How hard can it even _be_ to find one lousy excuse?

~o~o~o~o~o~

The answer, it turns out, is _really_,_ really hard_.

Takao gets to class the second the bell rings, and reflex has him yelling out a drawn out "saaaaaaafe" as he slides into the room. Of course, since the only one there to appreciate his awesome entrance is Kai, he is greeted by utter silence and crushing disappointment. Then he realizes he actually sorta _misses_ regular school and vows to kill himself for that fleeting feeling the second he remembers to carry out his planned suicide. All ten million of them. He flops down on his chair with the sigh of the dying, partly out of drama and partly because he is about to die of exhaustion for _real_, oh god how did he run all the way here _all the time_ in middle school? It feels like forever ago.

Forever has thereby been redubbed "like almost a whole month ago".

Has Takao said shut up yet? Shut up.

Tao usually gets to class either ten minutes before or ten minutes after the bell, for some bizarre reason Takao really doesn't want to think about, so he decides to spend the next blessed ten Tao-free minutes to come up with A Plan. Capital letters needed to emphasize how very important the Plan is to Takao's life. He turns to stare at Kai (for inspiration! … and, okay, maybe a little bit for the hell of it) and does a double-take when he notices that for once Kai is staring _right back at him_.

You know, instead of looking out the window obsessively. Takao maintains that that window cannot possibly be _that_ interesting. No window _is_.

"Uh, hi," Takao says dumbly after an entire minute of what can only be described as a staring contest. Takao is usually pretty boss at those, but it's Kai, so. Yeah. Takao likes his soul intact, okay.

No, shut up, Kai totally steals souls with his _deep piercing gaze_. Probably.

Kai stares back at him for a while, leaving Takao to try to decipher the meaning behind his eyebrows. And his stare, but he's already established it's probably a soul stealing method, so whatever, eyebrows time. They are very angular eyebrows. Almost… _tri_angular.

Takao really needs a nap if he's making puns based on _geometry_ this early in the morning, wow.

"Where do you live?" Kai finally bites out, looking like he swallowed a lemon. Uh. Okay then. Apparently he was gathering up the will to … bring himself to stalk Takao?

"You can't come kill me at home, gramps'll be really mad about the mess," Takao replies dumbly and only then realizes it just _might_ have to do with the project thing. And not, you know, Kai planning on murdering him to death. That makes a lot more sense, yes. Ha ha ha ha _stupid stupid dumb_. Kai stares at him like he shares Takao's current train of thoughts. Takao mentally tells him to go take a hike, it's like eight am he is allowed to be slow on the uptake. Then he vaguely hopes that Kai can't read minds, otherwise he'll forget about the project and go with the murder option instead. That option _sucks_.

"_Haha_ kidding!" Takao laughs out forcefully, a strained smile on his face as he rubs the back of his head. "It was a joke. I totally knew you meant to ask for the project… thingy. Yep."

Takao probably needs to learn how to lie more convincingly. That's what Kai's exceedingly dubious eyebrow raise is telling him, at least. Man. _Those eyebrows_. It's like they tell a story of their own.

(Not really. They mostly tell the story of how incredibly bored and easily distracted Takao can be. Shut. Up.)

"I _wish_ I'd asked because I wanted to tell the 'Sharks to come stab you in the middle of the night," Kai mumbles under his breath, running a hand over his face in what seems to be epic depression. A lot of people get that when they talk to Takao at eight am. Including Takao himself. Man he hates Mondays. More importantly, though, did Kai just… talk about sharks stabbing him in the night? What? Sharks so can't hold knives, how the heck would they even stab him? Plus. You know. Sharks can't walk. It's kind of an overall very silly notion. And worrying in its murderousness. Is that even a word? It is now. Shut up. Kai takes a breath and continues louder, meaning Takao _guesses_ he wasn't meant to hear the part about sharks murdering him in the night (or maybe just stabbing for minor damage? Who knows how that guy works, honestly!): "Do you _want_ to work on it this week or not? Since you volunteered your place yesterday."

Okay, honestly, Takao had been starting to hope yesterday was a fever-induced dream. Mostly because Kai seems to not be suffering at all from the _gushing head wound_ he'd received yesterday. … But also because, you know, Takao has been hoping his entire _summer_ has been naught but a fever-induced dream-slash-nightmare-slash-very stupid joke since he'd first met Tao, so. Whatever. He is used to having his hopes dashed over and over again. His life just sucks like that.

Also he gets his hopes up about the stupidest thing, but you know what? Shut up. Shut up is what.

"Of course I meant what I said!" Takao exclaims with a lot more outrage than he has any right to feel considering he's _still_ in the middle of trying to find a way for Kai to not come over on Wednesday. "We had a deal, right? So we'll work on it this week and be so badass at _psychological research_ that we'll finish it this week, too! Even if we have to work _every single day of the week together_."

What the hell is he saying this is the opposite of what he wants? No! Bad mouth! Stop stringing words together in order to impress Kai! The worst is he doesn't even look impressed, just judgmental. As always. It is _awful_ and how will he come up with an excuse for Wednesday _now _that he's said that? Takao refuses to be that obvious and blatant a liar. Or hypocrite. Why did no one ever teach him to think before he speaks?

The number of times people have told him to think before he speaks will thereby be ignored and filed away under "shut up", as usual.

Today's shut up folder is pretty huge.

"How about we _start_ it first," Kai deadpans in answer. "We can figure out a schedule after that. Besides, unlike you, I actually have a life. I don't have infinite free time."

Takao stares. "There's no way I'm going to believe you have a social life," he answers without thinking, then deeply regrets it. Again. What is _wrong_ with him today?

(All days, yeah, yeah, he said _shut up_.)

Kai glares at him and Takao holds his hands up in surrender. "Kidding, kidding! Sheesh, don't burn my face off," he backpedals quickly, trying to think of a way to smooth things over. Unfortunately Takao has never really been any good at tact and he grasps at vague and awful ideas for far too long before going with: "Okay, big shot, when _are_ you free?"

This is the opposite of what he wanted to sound like. It's not Takao's fault, okay, being brash is kind of his default setting. Personally he blames his brother, who is basically a giant douche and _clearly_ rubbed off on him before leaving forever on a quest to like… dig up dirt or whatever it was.

(Archeology is boring okay _boring_. Shut up. Forever.)

Luckily for Takao though, Kai only rolls his eyes at his defensive tone. He then throws a look towards the door before turning back to stare at Takao seriously. It's kind of freaky. Also, he looks totally judgmental, but at this point in their relationship (… yeah okay it's more of an acquaintanceship at _best _but that sounds _seriously_ dumb, so guess what? Yeah! You guessed it! Shut up!) Takao is coming to expect that. All the time, even, which is unfair, because even though Takao is a bit special (shut uuuuup) and crazy and mildly suicidal at times (he just has a tendency to make awful choices and judgment calls, okay, shuuuuuut up), Kai is actually _even more screwed up_. He's violent and temperamental and … kind of a total rebellious slob. (Heh, that sounds good. Takao's got to remember to pull that one out to Kai's face sometime. When he's fairly certain he's not going to get kicked in the knee for it. He remembers that, okay! It seriously hurt!) On top of all that, yesterday proved that Kai is actually probably _even more_ suicidal than Takao, because when Takao's bleeding he likes to get it checked, unless someone else who is probably hiding a _hideous_ scar underneath his stupid bangs. Yes. That is definitely a thing Takao's going to check out sometime.

"Tomorrow," Kai speaks up, breaking Takao out of his reverie. "Unless you've got something _better_ to do?"

Kai has really awful dialogue sometimes. Maybe that's why he doesn't speak much. Because when he does he ends up sounding like a cliché from _bad shonen anime_. Takao would know; he watches like, all of them. They are so great.

There's no oxymoron in the previous two sentences, shut up.

…What does oxymoron even _mean_. Takao doesn't know. Man he hopes what he just thought made sense. He hates when what he says doesn't make sense. People just look at him weird. _Everyone's_ a critic.

"Nope! I'm free to be your tortured slave, o grand lord Kai," Takao answers what he thinks is obviously the best comeback ever. Grand lord Kai. _Ha_. Let's see him recover from that sick burn!

Kai stares at him in complete disbelief for a while before slowly turning back to the window. "Do everyone a favor and never talk again," he deadpans to the window. Ugh. See? What did Takao say? Critic!

(Admittedly, now that he thinks about it, "grand lord Kai" and "I will be free to be your slave" are a) terrible and b) make no sense damn it he did it again. Shut up okay he never thought that was the greatest comeback ever. Obviously.)

"Oh yeah? Well, _you_ should shut up!"

Kai predictably doesn't even dignify that with an answer. Takao pretends for a few seconds that that means he's listening to him instead of what he is actually doing, which is blatantly ignoring Takao's stupidity and mentally communicating with seagulls. (… Maybe not that last part. But there's got to be a reason he looks out the window so much, and so far all the options that seem plausible are "Kai is wishing for freedom", which, yeah right, and "Kai is trying to learn to telepathically communicate with seagulls so he can control them and make them eat Takao's eyeballs like the crows in that creepy campy horror movie he watched recently.

What is he even thinking about shut up.)

Takao gets the faintest impression he's abused the words shut up a lot today, and it's not even nine am. Hrm. It's probably just his imagination.

"Look, let's just go to my place after school tomorrow and _deal with it_ as fast as we can without anyone being sarcastic or abrasive, how about that?" Takao huffs out after a while of uncomfortable and tense silence. Man, it's almost making him miss Tao.

Keyword being: almost. He's not that far-off gone yet.

"But if I can't sass you, how will I live," Kai mumbles against his palm without intonation.

"I _heard that_," Takao interjects, and pretends it wasn't even a little bit funny. Because it wasn't. Shut up, he isn't even fighting down a chuckle or anything. "Ugh! Fine! You can sass and sarcasm at me all you like, but that means I get to say whatever I want to too, and we are going to pretend we can work together _peacefully_! Which means no matter what happens tomorrow, you can't kill me! Deal?"

This speech seemed a better idea five seconds ago before it left his mouth. Blech.

Kai looks at him with a half sneer and a half put upon look (how does that even work what how does his face do that it's like _magic_ if magic was _awful and terrifying_, and it might be, how would Takao even know, ugh, shut up, brain, now is not the time) before grunting out a 'deal' and going back to … seagull watching, or whatever.

"Great," Takao says passive-aggressively in the silence.

If Kai wasn't so busy being dramatic and grumpy, he would probably answer with a passive-aggressive "great" himself. It would be just like the movies. You know. The bad ones. Luckily (or… unluckily, actually, shut up Takao likes those movies they are _awesome_) he doesn't, and Takao is left staring awkwardly at him before he turns away himself with a huff.

"Fine, tomorrow then," he mumbles. Whatever.

His sulking is then ruined when he is (once again) shocked into jumping out of his seat by Tao, who says it's great to see his too little bumblebuddies (what) getting along so swimmingly, like actual bumblebuddies. Takao can't even be bothered to point out that _bumblebuddies are not things that exist_ (at least, he is ninety percent sure of it anyway) or to whine that one day, _one day_ he will find the logic in Tao's magical appearances into the classroom. Instead he just sort of gives up and lies on the floor. Maybe he might be better off listening to his suicidal impulses. Life is not worth this much trouble. And pain, because when he jumped and fell out of his chair he kind of fell _unto_ Kai's desk. This is _definitely_ the last time he sits next to the guy. Just _ow_. Kai just glares at him for daring to approach his space or … whatever reason Kai would have to glare at him for his own pain.

(There are so many reasons, probably, but whatever it's Kai. Takao doesn't care. At _all_.)

"Hmm, bumblebuddies are far better possums than you, however," Tao points out serenely.

You know what? Takao … doesn't … even care … anymore. He doesn't. He just stays right where he is and completely ignores everything. Ugh, whatever, it's not like today can get any worse. At least the birthday thing is taken care of.

Shut up, it's totally progress. Yep.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Takao gets home after blatantly ignoring Kai around the riverbank (yeah that guy _sure leads a busy life_ alright) with a spring in his step regardless of how full of bruises he is, because guess what? Yes, that's right, Takao gets to not have anyone over for his birthday, oh yeah.

This would usually be a bad thing, but Kai is not the kind of people Takao invites to his birthday parties. For one thing, they usually don't seem to be heavily considering choking him to death in all their interactions. For another, they are … you know, actually his friends. So. Since Takao's friends are currently unavailable, just like Takao's family members (thanks, _Dad_, and no he's not over that yet shut up leave him be a typical teenager until his resolve dies when he sees his dad come back and he flying tackle hugs him as usual), he is going to celebrate by being completely lazy and useless and not eat grandpa's cake Wednesday. It will be a grand day. Believe it.

Wow, okay, that was incredibly lame. Takao resolves never to think that phrase ever again.

"Graaaaaamps, I'm hoooooome," Takao announces when he steps inside the dojo, taking off his shoes and throwing his bag in the general direction of … somewhere, who cares, he's not going to bother to do any schoolwork tonight anyway. As usual. (Reason number 413 why Takao failed middle school, check!)

He is answered by complete and total silence, which probably means his grandpa's busy in the dojo or something. Excellent. Now no one can force him to do chores. Takao prepares himself to sneak into his room and construct Fort Naptime And Fans gleefully. (Fort naptime is what he and Max usually call Takao's bed on sleepovers, and the fans… well, it's summer.) Unfortunately, his hopes and dreams are dashed by the sudden appearance of his grandpa in his face.

Predictably, Takao yells out in shock. "_What is with you guys and never making noises when you show up_!"

He is going to die of a heart attack before even reaching sixteen, something is definitely wrong with the people around him. Especially the old people.

"How many times have I told you, little dude? You gotta have constant vigilance and keep your guard up at all times!" Gramps answers him, hands on his hip. Takao thinks for a second and narrows his eyes accusingly when he realizes his grandfather is quoting Harry Potter at him. Those are books for _kids_, he has no right to go into Takao's personal collection like that! Especially since it's in his _room_, geez, can't a guy ask for a little privacy? He opens his mouth to point all this out but is stopped by his gramps continued shpiel. Talk about rude! "Now, how many of your pals are coming over tomorrow?"

Takao stares blankly at his grandpa. How does he know about Kai that is some freaky mind voodoo _right there_. "Uh… just… the one," he responds slowly. Then he thinks, as loudly as he can in his own head (how do you even think loudly, how does that _work,_ whatever shut up Takao is totally doing it): Grandpa can you read my mind do you have my grandson is going to get killed senses because if that's the case they are _totally defective_, you suck!

Predictably, his grandpa doesn't even bat an eye and ruins his conspiracy theory of mind voodoo powers.

"That's all? It's not gonna be much of a party with only two kids," his gramps says instead. "The other little dudes are still off, huh? Too bad. You coulda had one awesome themed party this year."

Takao is officially even more lost than usual. (Which totally _isn't_ a hard thing to achieve, shut up.)

"Gramps, what are you _talking_ about? I'm working on a project tomorrow with the _only other guy in summer school_," Takao stresses the last part in the vain hope his grandpa will one day believe it. Unlikely. "And then Wednesday, which is my _birthday_, I am going to sleep, sleep and sleep some more because there's not going to _be_ any party."

Takao's grandfather stares at him for a while and then shakes his head. "You got the dates mixed up, yo! Your birthday's tomorrow."

W…h…a…t.

"No it's _not_, stop being senile!" Takao objects. Loudly. And not at all panicking oh shit could it really be tomorrow? Seiryuu help him if it's true. "_Today_ we are the day before my birthday, which is the—"

Takao fumbles for the date for a few seconds before giving up and marching towards the nearest calendar, hung uselessly close to the door. There is one in every room of the dojo. Hitoshi gives the _worst_ souvenirs. Who needs this many calendars? Nobody, that's who. Still, for once Takao is glad for the over-abundance of calendars here, because he can look at the date and point out how wrong his grandpa is and then go pass out in his room like he wanted.

Let's see, it's right …

Here…

…

Oh.

You know what? Just. Just shut up.

Shut up.

Shut _up_.

Takao wants to die.

"Grandpa why didn't you tell me my birthday was _tomorrow_," Takao wails in despair.

"Little dude, if I'd have known you needed more calendars around, I'd have talked to Hitoshi about your next birthday present."

"…Shut up, Gramps."

Everything is awful. _Everything_.

* * *

Speaking of awful things: this chapter woops?

So I know I said this chapter was going to be celebrating Takao's birthday, but then I realized that I'd counted wrong and my proper parallel means that it should happen later, and I was like oh god I have no chapter plan. What was I to do? It was a dark time. I didn't know what to do. I had failed my own timing.

And so I decided to talk about the story of the time Takao said shut up a lot, I guess. Also why Kai would even go to Takao's place on his birthday, considering at this point in time both boys would be so against that plan. So, so against it. Of course, they have now made a commitment, so... Insert evil laughter here, or some such.

I DON'T KNOW IT HASN'T YET BEEN A MONTH SINCE THE LAST YOPH CHAPTER ISN'T THAT GREAT? IT'S GREAT...

I am the worst, wow. Welp, at least the next few chapters have an actual _planned outline_. And a running gag that isn't just "oh my god, shut up".

Hope you enjoyed it,

-Zia


End file.
